What Activities Do Asexuals Do At Asexual Meetups?
If you didn’t already know, I hold asexual meetups in my city of Exeter, in the UK. I hold both national ones where people come from all over the UK to them, as well as local ones. The furthest someone has travelled so far is from Newcastle and it took him 11 hours on a coach and that was just one way – yep, he had to do that going home too!
So if you are looking for asexual meetup ideas and to know what type of thing is on offer at an asexual meetup, what activities do asexuals do at asexual meetups?
On the 8thof September 2018, I had an asexual meetup in my city (incidentally, none of the people who came lived in my city and 2 stayed in hotels), and 4 of us went VR Gaming (Virtual Reality Gaming). In this video I go behind the scenes of me doing VR Gaming, which I absolutely loved! I went on to achieve the highest overall group score of 9300, and for someone like me, who does not do gaming, I was very proud of myself! One of my asexual friends who did gaming after me, filmed me live! Here is that video:
I am also super excited, because on Sunday 18thof November, I will be having another asexual meetup and we are meeting at midday for lunch and going for a meal at a beautiful Chinese restaurant in my city called Tang Shian and at 5pm it’s the Christmas light switch on, and there will be live bands outdoors and other activities on to celebrate and the Christmas Market is open! Other meetup organisers have included going to Christmas markets too, at their meets.
We ate at that Chinese Restaurant, we we’re going to this Sunday, last time we had a meetup in my city.
And many times we have met up for food, drink and chat, at a Wetherspoons pub, as they tend to cater to everyone’s dietary requirements.
And many times we have met up for food, drink and chat, at a Wetherspoons pub, as they tend to cater to everyone’s dietary requirements.
I know other meetups by other organisers have included trips abroad, picnics, a retro clothing shopping experience, movie and popcorn night, board games night, boat trips, and many other things. Different food and drinks outlets, such as restaurants, coffee shops, and other places, feature highly as favourite places to go to at many asexual meetups.
What asexual meetups have you been to, and what was your experience of them?
November 5th 2018, marked the 7 year anniversary of me being free from abuse, and to celebrate I went on a self-date to the cinema and saw Disney’s The Nutcracker and the Four Realms. Which was an amazing family film. It is very Christmassy, with magic, wonder, beautiful costumes and sets, and some nicely simple special effects that were great for the film. Here is the trailer:
My ex was verbally, emotionally, and mentally abusive, and also physically threatening. Fortunately, he was not sexually abusive, and was good to me in that way.
In this video above, you can hear what I had to say about my past experience and how happy I am now to be free of that abuse, and living as a single, happy person.
Today marks the start of Asexual Awareness Week from Oct 21st-27th 2018. Otherwise know as #aceweek.
This is the week that many people around the world go that extra mile to raise awareness of Asexuality and it is a huge opportunity for those who have not yet come out as asexual but been thinking about it for some time, to do just that, and come out. This could be to family, to friends, or to a loved one, or all 3.
If you are thinking about coming out but not sure how to go about it, one of the other speakers at the UK Asexuality Conference said they found it best to explain how they feel in regard to having sex, rather than at first say they are asexual, which can be harder to understand.
Before I knew I am asexual, I used to say to heterosexual guys I dated, that I didn’t like sex. I didn’t even know asexuality existed back then, but I knew I didn’t like sex. I think this is an easier concept to grasp because people can relate to the fact that not everyone likes doing everything, in this case sex, whereas a lack of sexual attraction is more harder to understand; unless you are asexual, it is something that is never usually talked about – not unless you are fortunate enough to have bumped into someone who is asexual in your life, or seen an article, documentary, or radio show about it, or you just happen to come across it online.
If you haven’t yet read my Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Love, Life and Sex, ACElebration of Asexual Diversity book, I first discovered I am asexual in 2014, when I went to see a counsellor because I couldn’t date heterosexuals any more for fear of them wanting sex at the end of the date; it made me so very anxious that I almost wet myself. But, I said I still like kissing. She said she was very worried about me because I would have to have sex in order to keep a good guy. I was absolutely devastated as it was the worst thing she could have said to me, as I just couldn’t do it anymore.
So after the counsellor said that to me, I got home and went online, I Googled “I love kissing but not sex” and that was when I discovered www.asexuality.org and asexuality, and after 3 weeks of research I finally understood not only that I am asexual, but what part of the asexual spectrum I was. It was a wonderful feeling of joy and relief to finally know there were others like me, who could live and love without sex.
What are you up to for Asexual Awareness Week?
In the last 3 weeks I have been preparing for Asexual Awareness Week by designing and producing lots of new Asexualise Asexual T-Shirts and merchandise for asexuals. Down below is a screenshot of some of those designs. Please click the following link for the full range of merchandise in my shop https://www.redbubble.com/people/asexualise/shop.
Asexual Kindle Short Reads books, are digital Kindle Books which have been designed to be read in one sitting, as opposed to being read in days or even weeks! This is fantastic if you are a slow reader or got lots of projects on the go at once, or you lead a very busy life!
You can get Kindle Short Read books in many different genres which take different lengths of time to read: 15 minutes | 30 minutes | 45 minutes | One hour | 90 minutes | 2 hours or more. Although if you are an uber slow reader like me, you may take a while longer. I like to savor every asexy word and take it deep in my mind to analyze my feelings and thoughts on it! Do you do the same? Comment below and share your thoughts, I love to read you!
Asexualise.com is the place to be, for both long and short books about Asexuality.
ASEXUAL PERSPECTIVES: 47 ASEXUAL STORIES: LOVE, LIFE and SEX, ACElebration of ASEXUAL DIVERSITY
ASEXUAL PERSPECTIVES
One asexual from my Asexual Friends group was asking about my Asexual Perspectives book and did not realise that the 47 stories are real life asexual experiences of what it really means to be asexual in this sexualised world. This 560 page book took me a year to write and I interviewed asexuals from all over the globe and across the asexual spectrum. The best thing about this book is it is NOT A BOOK OF TEXT BOOK DEFINITIONS OF ASEXUALITY, IT IS A COLLECTION OF REAL LIFE EXPERIENCES that SHOWS you THE DIVERSITY OF THE ASEXUAL SPECTRUM, and can deepen your under of asexuality as a whole, with many relatable stories.
When you first discover you are asexual, it is like you have found your FREEDOM, and a HUGE weight has been lifted from your shoulders. I constantly get asked questions about asexuals and asexuality and this book answers all of them and so much more:
Can asexuals masturbate?
Can I still be asexual if I watch porn?
Can an asexual have a relationship with a sexual and make it work?
Can asexuals really find love and a relationship with another asexual?
If I have had sex in the past, but have no desire for it now and have not for some time, could I still be asexual?
What advice would you give to someone who is just discovering they are asexual?
In this book you will find out the answers to all those questions and so much more.
In this book you will read stories of how difficult it is being asexual in a sexualised world, how people ALWAYS knew they were different, but did not know why or how! BUT you will also read what the POSITIVES TO BEING ASEXUAL are.
In this book you will:
•Learn the asexual perspectives of Aromantics; Heteroromantics; Homoromantics; Panromantics; Grey Aces; Demi-sexual; Biromantic; Agender; Transgender; Polyamorous and many more.
•Uncover Asexuals’ deepest fears, concerns and worries about being asexual.
•Find out possible reasons why, in general, society does not accept asexuality as a sexual orientation in its own right and what we can do about this to change the world!
•Discover what asexuals really believe are the differences between sexual attraction, sexual desire and arousal.
•Find out what asexuals really think of nudity; porn; masturbation; BDSM and kinks.
•Discover what it feels like to have sex as an asexual and how to cope with the sexualized world that we live in.
•Find out what asexuals think about living together, about marriage and about having kids.
•Discover what an ideal asexual relationship would look like and whether asexuals believe a relationship with a sexual would be fair or not.
•Find out what advice asexuals would give to a younger version of themselves regarding asexuality and what advice they would give to others who are just discovering they may be asexual.
Asexual Perspectives is 47 Real Life Asexual Stories and makes the ideal self-love gift or a gift for that asexual friend! Perfect for a Christmas treat.
Asexual dating sites and asexual social networking sites do exist. Whether you are looking for a platonic relationship, or something more romantic, you are not alone.
“Meet Asexuals with Asexualitic.com. The first community for asexual people. Date an asexual, meet friends in the asexual community and find a platonic partner. Build a platonic relationship.”
If you want to date other asexuals try Asexualitic.com – It is free to join and create a profile but not to send direct messages, you can put your email address, Skype etc, in the description details but otherwise it currently costs $19 for the year which is quite reasonable for the upkeep of the site. I have found that people on the site talk far more in the forums for longer periods of time than on an individual basis that tends to fizzle out. I like the look of the site and it is still helpful to know there are other aces out there and to have the opportunity to connect with them. I joined when the site had less than 5,000 members, in 2014, now it has over 38,300 as of September 2018!! And therefore I am a premium member and do not have to pay for membership – lucky me!☺
I am also on www.ace-book.net which is a free to join social networking and asexual dating site.
Try them out and share what you think in the comments below!
There are other asexual dating sites but these are the only two I am active on and like to be part of on a regular basis.
I also run 2 asexual dating groups on Facebook and a friends group – acceptance into them in not automatic and you have to answer questions to get into them, but if accepted then are hugely beneficial in increasing the chances of you finding someone special, be that a friendship (which is what the friends group is aimed at) www.facebook.com/groups/acefriendsrus or a platonic or romantic partner which is what the other two groups are aimed at, depending on whether you definitely want a no sex ever relationship, which would be my Asexualise no sex ever dating group – specifically just for asexuals who never want sex in their life, https://www.facebook.com/groups/acexualisedating/, or if there is a possibility of sex, such as those who identify on the Grey Asexual and Demisexual end of the spectrum https://www.facebook.com/groups/greyacexualdatinganddemiacexualdating/
I haven’t met my asexual soulmate yet, who I believe is younger and foreign and Indian, in his early to mid twenties, but who knows what the future holds in store, let’s wait and see! Exciting!
Wearing Asexual clothing and having asexual accessories, makes you feel fantastic as an asexual because you are expressing your Asexual identity and showing you most definitely do exist.
Wearing Asexual clothing makes you feel empowered as an asexual and that you are truly living your asexual life and enjoying it. It makes you feel confident to be the wonderful and beautiful asexual you were always born to be!
Asexual Accessories can compliment your asexual clothes, and be as loud or as subtle as you wish them to be.
What’s Ace!
If you are not openly asexual, you can choose an asexual item that says ace on it, which is the slang term, or nickname word if you like, for being asexual, particularly when accompanied by the asexual flag colours, which are black, grey, white and purple.
What do the Asexual Pride Flag Colours Mean?
“The asexual pride flag consists of four horizontal stripes: black, grey, white, and purple from top to bottom. … The black stripe represents asexuality, the grey stripe representing the grey-area between sexual and asexual, the white stripe sexuality, and the purple stripe community.”
“The asexual pride flag consists of four horizontal stripes: black, grey, white, and purple from top to bottom.
In August 2010, after a process of getting the word out beyond the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN) and to non-English speaking areas, a flag was chosen following a vote on a non-AVEN site. It has since been seen used on Tumblr in various LGBT areas, but had been seen alongside other sexual orientation flags previous to formal election. The black stripe represents asexuality, the grey stripe representing the grey-area between sexual and asexual, the white stripe sexuality, and the purple stripe community.
The AVEN logo is a triangle fading from white to black to symbolise the gradient between sexuals, gray-asexuals, demisexuals, and asexuals.
The ace of spades and ace of hearts are also used as asexual symbols as “ace” is a phonetic shortening of asexual. Similarly, “aro” is commonly another abbreviation of aromantic. Generally, romantic asexuals use the ace of hearts as their symbol, and aromantic asexuals use the ace of spades.
Another common symbol for the asexual community is a black ring worn on the middle finger of their right hand. The material and exact design of the ring are not important as long as it is primarily black. This symbol also found its start on AVEN in 2005.”
In my experience they cannot live happily forever without sex and I don’t like, need or want that, ever again in my life!The end!Okay, so I have some more reasons but they are linked to the first
Their thinking is different.
They cannot kiss for long periods of time without getting frustrated and pressurising to have sex with them.
They would view a cute pair of PJs as something that needs to be removed quickly for sex. And I like wearing cute PJs and I don’t want sex.
They may want to get their sexual needs met elsewhere and I am 100% a monogamous girl!
They will usually end up going off with someone else due to the lack of sex.
Incompatible needs and intentions.
Can’t make each other happy sexually and that will inevitably lead to other problems such as resentment, unsatisfaction and lack of fulfilment, feeling neglected or rejected and communication becomes lacking as the gap between us widens.
To sum it up, we are just not compatible and I am not prepared to put myself through that heartache ever again.
There is however, someone in my Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories book who is asexual and said they are with a bisexual person and the sex (or lack of it) was never an issue. I think this is extremely rare, especially if the relationship is monogamous, but nothing is completely impossible in all cases.
As I update this blog post in September 2018, I did try dating a sexual for 2 months in 2017, and I stopped dating him because he turned out to be a real psycho not because of the no sex aspect – but that was also a huge worry for me and he even understood it was better for me to be with an asexual. A mutual friend afterwards said he would have cheated on you.
I know of one sexual person that is married to an aromantic asexual in a monogamous married relationship but the lack of sex makes them unhappy in the relationship aspect of their life. I also met a married couple at the UK Asexuality Conference and she is asexual and he is sexual – hooray for a supportive husband!
I tend to attract the highly sexual guys, so yeah, it would be great if they could live without sex, but they can’t in my experience. And ‘highly’ sexual is the clue! Plus I love Passionate kissing but never want sex, and like I said in my point (2) above, it is just too frustrating for them to do that and not get sex as the ‘reward’ or ‘prize’ they crave.
What is your thoughts? As an asexual, would you date a sexual?
I JUST POSTED THIS ON MY PERSONAL TIMELINE – but it’s IMPORTANT YOU READ THIS TOO, as I have been reflecting a lot lately and making life decisions that MAY AFFECT YOU TOO.
?GIVING YOU A HEADS UP NOW! Been reflecting a lot lately and so glad I am finally going out dancing, and in a place where they have foreign music, foreign guys, and I can dance to foreign tunes and most people are in their 20s, which matches my soul interests and the dancing is such an amazing freeing feeling that finally my soul can achieve and be nourished. I plan to go out dancing in my city far more, as it is so healthy for my mind, body and soul, and I am not a ‘going to the gym’ or ‘routine exercise class’ person. I want to dance in the way I like to for hours on end, and be in an atmosphere that naturally matches my 21st mindset soul and inner being. I like to be around young guys, not around guys near my birth certificate age, and that piece of paper is not me and not true to who I am. I am very grateful and thankful to be born, but that age, is not one I choose to live or be, it’s really not me and makes me unhappy and even miserable sometimes if I let it get its way or in atmospheres or doing things that trigger that or provoke it into action!
I am also going back to focusing on my life purpose which is WRITING and to change lives through the written word – writing is my number one passion in my life and my life purpose – followed very closely by asexuality.
⚡️WARNING PLEASE READ ALL OF THE FOLLOWING!
I will write some books that you will love and adore, but I will also write books that you may not agree with or not like – that is okay, you don’t have to read them and you can go on your own life path and ignore those ones – but I have to write them before I die to be blunt. I want to help as many people as possible with my knowledge and worrying about what people think is not any good for me.
‼️WARNING There is a very controversial book I plan to write and there is a NEED for it, I started writing it a while ago after I got a PM from an Asexual friend, but it is for a very niche amount of people – So I am giving you a heads up right now that some of you will not like it – some asexuals want to have sex or try it for the sake of their partner and they keep coming for my help in PM, afraid and scared and not knowing what to do – and yes, I used to be in heterosexual relationships for half of my life before I discovered I am asexual – I had sex and am experienced in that – even though I no longer want it for me. I have never experienced a need, urged want for it, but yes, I could fully feel it and experience it, probably in part due to the fact I am very sensitive, emotional, and I have high arousal levels – which I cannot help and in the past mistook for sexual attraction. I am also sexual in behaviour with the way I like to kiss with my clothes on – it can feel extreme and scary even for me. I like to get naturally excited with my clothes on, but sex does not appeal to me in the slightest – and yes, my ex was good at sex, but I am not liking sex or wanting it ever again, passionate kissing is a much bigger excitement for me and more explosively pleasurable if you must know, and I do not want sex ever again. I would rather not have had sex in the past and just had the kissing and maybe some touching when in a relationship – that is my dream relationship now – to have love without any sex, but plenty of romance, deepest ever soulmate connection, and deepest ever best friendship, with tons of proactive consistent communication, and making me a priority in his life, a guy loving my for my personality and all of those things mentioned, more than anything else, and first and foremost, but yes, I also NEED close passionate kissing in a relationship, with the tongue, bodies intertwined with clothes on, with the right younger foreign asexual guy in his 20s (in the UK permanently – if I ever find one). So yeah, I will be writing a book about hetero-sex for asexuals who want to try it and have no clue what to do. Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction, not necessarily the lack of sexual behaviour, although the full definition is the “lack of sexual attraction AND/OR little to no interest in sexual activities” – notice the AND/OR. So if you have problem with that and no longer want to be my friend that is fine – you can go ahead and de-friend me and no hard feelings, but I will not live my life by other people’s mindset and rules – that is not my life, it is yours. I am glad for every asexual that is still a virgin – I think it’s good for you and you are not missing out at all. I am glad there are thousands of asexuals around the globe who have never had sex, that is amazing, and I am proud of you for doing that and staying that way and think it is very healthy for you. I am happy for every asexual who does not have any arousal or sexual behaviour whatsoever, that is fantastic – I am happy for you to be you and me to be me, naturally. I don’t think it is right for any asexuals who do feel aroused or who like doing some things that may be sexual in behaviour, to feel invalidated, guilty or wrong. We are all very different. I believe I was born to be a mixture of some parts of the asexual spectrum, through my life experience, in order to help others. So if you are not comfortable with me helping those asexuals who want to try sex, rather than having a go at me or being unhappy because I am doing that as well as all the no sex ever is fantastic videos and posts, – which in my opinion it is, then please go and be happy and leave my friends list as I do not want to be the cause of your upset or pain. I just need to help as many people as possible, regardless of what you think and believe, and I cannot please everyone.
?To all of my asexual friends who love and support me regardless – and of course all of my many very beautiful sexual friends, who I also love and adore, thank you so very, very much, for accepting me for who I am and caring about me for me. Thanks for continuing to support my mission, my life, my passion and my joys, and for also being and staying with me through those rough and tough times. I love you mountains and thanks for always being in my life, even if it is just silently at times. xxxxxxxx Hugs xxxxxxxx ? Celebrating being me.
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