10 Benefits Of Being Alone: 10 Reasons Why It Is Good To Be Alone!

I have noticed that a lot of asexuals feel alone and are lonely. I do understand this, especially as I am an extrovert asexual and like to get out and about and be around people about every 3 days.

I don’t usually feel lonely these days, but it can be isolating if I have not got out of my flat in a while! I like going out with friends and I am a social creature by nature, but I also have some introvert tendencies, in the sense that I enjoy my own company, like to switch off from the outside world now and then to explore and progress my creative pursuits and passions, and I also do a lot of solo work at home, building websites, writing blog posts, etc! Having said that, in-between doing my work, sometimes I will send an email reply to someone or reach out to someone via email, and I will often watch videos about my passions, which means I am still connected to people outside my home!

There are some huge benefits to being alone – I like to call it “being on my own and enjoying my own company”. The video above, has 10 reasons why it is good to be alone! Please watch it and let me know if you agree?

Until next time, stay ACE.

Sandra xx

Asexual Perspectives Book – A Different Take On Asexuality!

ASEXUAL PERSPECTIVES BOOK

If you are still learning about asexuality or wanting to understand your orientation better, I wrote a non-fiction book to show you the difference across the asexual spectrum. This book is not full of text book definitions, but a different take on asexuality, of real life asexuals, revealing some very intimate aspects of their life to help you! http://amzn.to/2FT0nJO

•Learn the asexual perspectives of Aromantics; Heteroromantics; Homoromantics; Panromantics; Grey Aces; Demi-sexual; Biromantic; Agender; Transgender; Polyamorous and many more.

•Uncover Asexuals’ deepest fears, concerns and worries about being asexual.

•Find out possible reasons why, in general, society does not accept asexuality as a sexual orientation in its own right and what we can do about this to change the world!

•Discover what asexuals really believe are the differences between sexual attraction, sexual desire and arousal.

•Find out what asexuals really think of nudity; porn; masturbation; BDSM and kinks.

•Discover what it feels like to have sex as an asexual and how to cope with the sexualized world that we live in.

•Find out what asexuals think about living together, about marriage and about having kids.

•Discover what an ideal asexual relationship would look like and whether asexuals believe a relationship with a sexual would be fair or not.

•Uncover the positives about being asexual.

•Find out what advice asexuals would give to a younger version of themselves regarding asexuality and what advice they would give to others who are just discovering they may be asexual.

Here is what some people are saying about the book:

“Thank You for writing this book! It is so important to bring awareness about asexuality. Thank you for interviewing so many people and helping the world understand more what asexual people stuggle with and what our lives can be like.”

“Excellent introduction to asexuality, and a great help to asexuals as well as people looking to understand asexuality!”

“I have not finished this book yet, but so far, I have found it so interesting and I can’t put the book down. As an Asexual, it’s so nice to not only see a well written book written about this orientation, but reading real life stories of people like me makes me feel good, because I know I am not alone and there are people who experience the same things I do. No one is the same, but we can all relate one way or another. I HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone who is interested in this topic, overall, it’s a good read! Thank you so much for writing this and a big thank you to everyone who shared their story! Truly inspirational!”

“I found this to be an easy read. Very informative with aspects of all different spectrums of the Asexual community. Being new to this community by just months and still trying to understand where I fit I was able to read different interviews and pick up things I had in common with those people. Helping me realize the more intricate parts of being an asexual woman. It helped me let go of many things that have hounded me for a very long time. I’m “mature” and there was no such thing when I grew up as “Asexual”. Thank you Sandra for putting your heart into this work. I will go back and refer to parts of this book on my own journey.”

Shop here http://amzn.to/2FT0nJO

Why Do Some Asexuals Have Sex?

So why do some asexuals have sex? There are a variety of reasons why some asexuals may have sex. Some asexuals may have sex to please their partner or they may have sex because they like it as an activity to do, like a board game! Some asexuals may have had sex in the past but not any more, and some asexuals have never had sex and never will!

Asexuality is not defined by whether you have had sex or not, it is defined by whether you experience sexual attraction or not, so whether you get the need, urge, or want, for partnered sexual intercourse or not! I have had sex in the past, but would rather I did not. I thought I had to have sex as part of a relationship, despite never thinking I want to have sex with any guy, including past loves. When I found out I am asexual in 2014 and I discovered others who were too, it felt amazing, that for the first time in my life, I had hope that I could find asexual love, without sex! I have never associated sex with love and never will!

If you have any questions, please post them in the comments below!

Until next time, stay Ace.

Sandra xx

 

8 Things Not To Do If You Are Asexual! Asexual Beauty! You’re Beautiful Just As You Are! #asexuality

Beautiful as you are pic

You should know that you are beautiful just as you are.

8 Things Not To Do If You Are Asexual!

There is no need for you to:

  1. Justify your asexuality to anyone.
  2. Agree with someone for the sake of it.
  3. Be liked by everyone; because no one is.
  4. Be unsure of who you are because another person puts doubt in your mind.
  5. Identify the same as others; you are unique, so embrace it!
  6. Be ashamed of being asexual; asexuality is beautiful!
  7. Keep quiet about your asexuality; if others can’t deal with it, it’s their problem.
  8. Not love yourself and change yourself; because you are beautiful just as you are!

I thought you mind need a gentle reminder! Keep loving you for who you are! You are beautiful, and never forget that!

Until next time, stay ace, Sandra xx

Asexualise Asexual T Shirts! Asexual Merchandise On Asexualise.com

Asexualise Asexual T Shirts!

Check out these Asexualise Asexual T Shirts on https://redbubble.com/people/asexualise  

Please not that prices and designs are subject to change, so please check for up-to-date prices on my shop!

Asexualise merch for asexuals

Asexual Merchandise On Asexualise.com

For Asexualise Asexual T Shirts on this site, go to the home page www.asexualise.com and scroll down to the Asexualise category section.

What Is The Story Behind The Ace Cake Asexual Joke?

Are you feeling Asexy?

I recently saw a video that gave a different definition of asexy to my own. I define asexy as something that would usually be seen as sexy, but minus the sexual attraction – so if I was attracted to the guy, I might find him hot looking aesthetically or he might have a magnetic charm, but unlike sexuals, as an asexual, I would not want sex with him because I would not get the urge for that.

While I was searching the internet for how others define asexy, I came across a ‘playboy’ article in which David Jay – founder of www.asexuality.org answered the story behind why asexuals joke about cake. He was interviewed by Debra W. Soh, who is a sex writer and sexual neuroscientist at York University in Toronto. She has written for Harper’s, The Wall Street Journal, Scientific American, The Los Angeles Times, The Globe and Mail and many others. Follow her on Twitter: @debra_soh.

Story Behind The Ace Cake Asexual Joke Revealed

Here is her question and his answer:

“Can you explain the story behind how a slice of cake became a symbol of asexuality and what it means to the Ace community?”

“The moment when new people show up to the community has always been a little sacred for us; it’s when people realize that they’re not alone. Cake started as a symbol of welcome: Someone would join the community and post their story, and people would come in and post a little image of cake. Since then, it’s expanded, and has become a little like the rainbow, though these days the Ace flag gets used much more.”

And here is a link to the full article https://www.playboy.com/articles/david-jay-asexy It is on the playboy site – a magazine aimed at sexuals.

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10 Awesome Benefits To NOT Having Sex!

Here are 10 Awesome Benefits To NOT Having Sex!

1) You don’t have to worry about getting a STD.

2) No risk of getting pregnant or of getting someone pregnant.

3) No pressure or expectation to perform.

4) You will be loved for who you are, not for how many orgasms you can attempt to give or have.

5) Less mess and changing of bed sheets!

6) Relationship compatibility is increased because there is more focus on shared mutual interests, hobbies, likes and dislikes – rather than sexual attraction being the primary reason for the relationship to start and continue.

7) Less divorce rates due to impotency or lack of sex, if you are not having it anyway.

8) You have more time to focus on other things.

9) You don’t have to feel guilty if you are too tired to have sex or not in the mood.

10) There is more chance of getting to the root of relationship problems, and either sorting them out or cutting your losses sooner – rather than using sex as a kiss and make-up mask over the problem – leading to more frustration, hurt and pain, later on!

How To Come Out As Asexual!!

Before I Begin

Before I go any further with this ‘how to come out as asexual’ post, let me tell you that you owe it to yourself and to be fair to others if you are in a relationship, to say that you are not into sex, but you do not have to say right away that you are asexual. You can just say things like I am not into sex.  I just don’t like  sex. I have never liked sex. I don’t associate sex with love. These explain how you feel, rather than use the term asexual which others may try to object to. No one can object to how you feel, because those feelings are yours and you own them, and no one has the right to take those away from you.

However, if you do want to come out as asexual, someone asked me how to come out as asexual to their boyfriend and others, here was my advice! Hope it helps!

How To Come Out As Asexual

Honesty is way better in the long-term for you to live your life as your authentic self, however, it is best you prepare for objections in advance and know not everyone may like what you have to say but to remain strong and adamant that you are asexual and be confident with it. Confidence is key.

Firstly, I would confide in a friend/s or family member/s who you believe would most likely take it well because they are open-minded – I would do this first so you can see their reaction and also hopefully they will understand your situation and you can get them on side so it gives that initial confidence boost! It is not guaranteed to work – but it helps if you have people who either back you up or just don’t mind about it. If you cannot get any support there and you need a confidence boost before telling others about it, go in Asexual Facebook groups or asexual online forums, so you can at least feel less alone and supported and have an outlet should things not go as planned or people continue to be negative – however, be sure to go with the mindset that there is nothing wrong in being asexual, that there are thousands of people on the planet who are – a recorded 1%, that is 1 in every 100 people you are likely to be asexual – that is a good fact to tell people too, to help them understand it is actually more common than they think! Then tell others in order of importance and urgency.

I came out to my parents first, I just told them in a confident and matter of fact way, that I think I am asexual and explained what it was, and by the second conversation they said it sounds like me, and are far more understanding now then they have ever been, about me, my personality, and my life! But the first friend I told was not good about it and said I just hadn’t met the right person yet. – So you can prepare to answer that question with something like, ‘yes, you are right, I just haven’t met the right asexual person yet!’ The reason this friend was adamant about me not being asexual, was in her opinion, I was always talking about guys and I explained that is because I liked them aesthetically and romantically. But not only that, I was under-confident about my asexuality back then and wishy-washy with it, and not strong and speaking with conviction, if I had been adamant, and confident, it would have helped tremendously, so remember to be the most confident you can possibly be!

In terms of your boyfriend – meet up with him in private and sit him down and explain to him about asexuality and what it is and how that impacts you and makes you feel. Explain how important he is to you and how much you love him and trust him and that you feel so comfortable with him that you wanted to tell him how you feel, that you would have liked to have shared this with him before, but did not know how to go about it and now feel more confident in saying. (It’s important to use feeling words and put the emphasis or you being responsible for your asexuality). Allow him time to ask questions, think, and come to terms with it. You can say, I realise this may be new to you but I want us to grow stronger and closer together through sharing this with you. Then take it from there. I hope that helps. I am also at http://www.youtube.com/asexualisemyasexuallife.

Also, asexuality.org has some great info.

Was this helpful? Let me know what you think in the comments below!

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Asexual Self-Love! 10 Ways to Asexually Self-love at home! #asexuality

Asexual Self-Love: How To Self-Love At Home The Asexual Way. It’s so important when single especially, to self-love at home.  Sometimes spending a lot of time on your own at home can be fabulous, but for some others, it can feel lonely and isolating, this is why it is important to develop a self-love attitude! In this video I reveal ways you can self-love at home!

Self-love should be a daily practise! And self-dating should be a must. But what are some things you can do to self-love at home?

Here are some key points from the video!

  1. Have a movie day, watching movies that are not just full of death and destruction, but that are humorous and light-hearted too! Don’t forget to have popcorn and crisps to accompany your movies!
  2. Read your favourite books, including asexual books. And read non-fiction books for your personal and professional development.
  3. Write, if you enjoy writing.
  4. Learn from home and take a course online to develop yourself and your life in some way.
  5. Give yourself a hug or kiss if you want to.
  6. If you experience arousal, and want to relieve it and masturbate, then go for it.
  7. Do artwork; poetry; anything you enjoy doing.
  8. Cook yourself a meal.
  9. Take a hot bath or shower to relax and reflect!
  10. Enjoy eating your favourite foods and having a foodgasm!!

Want the items in this video? Just click the links below and make sure with the Blu-rays/DVDS that you are buying them from your Amazon so they work in your country and select the format you want, whether it is Blu-ray, DVD, or other! If your Amazon is not either of those, then click through the links below and there should be a message with a link in the top right of your screen to take you through to your Amazon. And don’t forget to subscribe to my channel, especially as I now do some Live Streams so you can join in the conversation with me!!

Captain America Box Set on Amazon.com http://amzn.to/2iYY1fI on Amazon.co.uk http://amzn.to/2icrBRE

Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice on Amazon.com http://amzn.to/2BrkDNr on Amazon.co.uk http://amzn.to/2ie8WoH

Kung Fu Panda 3 on Amazon.com http://amzn.to/2hYg8l0 on Amazon.co.uk http://amzn.to/2Bjx50S

Terminator Genisys on Amazon.com http://amzn.to/2AfVcAx on Amazon.co.uk http://amzn.to/2ieRvo7

X Men Apocalypse on Amazon.com http://amzn.to/2k8HwRE on Amazon.co.uk http://amzn.to/2ibMEE1

Inkheart on Amazon.com http://amzn.to/2jve2cD on Amazon.co.uk http://amzn.to/2Adu0T5

Iron Man 3 on Amazon.com http://amzn.to/2jsZTgg on Amazon.co.uk http://amzn.to/2id7LpI

Metcalfe Salted Popcorn Amazon.com http://amzn.to/2Bt4ZRT Amazon.co.uk http://amzn.to/2ig9rhY

Tyrrells’s Sea Salt Chips/Chips on Amazon.com http://amzn.to/2k8521a (only 40g) on Amazon.co.uk http://amzn.to/2AisbSs

Motivation Manifesto Book – By Brendon Burchard on Amazon.com http://amzn.to/2hZ9gUm by Brendon Burchard on Amazon.co.uk http://amzn.to/2ieuMbu

Writing Successful Self-help & How-to books by Jean Marie Stine on Amazon.com http://amzn.to/2hYLtEc on Amazon.co.uk http://amzn.to/2if36n4

ASEXUAL PERSPECTIVES 47 ASEXUAL STORIES, Love, Life and SEX ACElebration of Asexual Diversity by Sandra Bellamy (that’s me) on Amazon.com
Kindle: http://amzn.to/2l8kppt
Paperback: http://amzn.to/2td7y8D
on Amazon.co.uk http://amzn.to/2tMXhls

Tilda Pulses & Rice Pinto Bean Chilli and Rice on Amazon.com http://amzn.to/2ieVnWd  and on Amazon.co.uk http://amzn.to/2jtDNKs

Deliciously Ella Cacao and Almond Energy Ball on Amzon.com http://amzn.to/BI9q9Vn  on Amazon.co.uk http://amzn.to/2juEvXL

These are all products I have bought and used. And the links are affiliate links, so if you buy anything through these links, it may give me some pennies for the upkeep of this site! Thank you xx

 

 

ASEXUAL CHRISTMAS PRESENTS! ASEXUAL GIFTS! ASEXUAL ASEXUALISE T-SHIRT AND ASEXUAL MERCHANDISE!!

Asexual pride shirt

FEEL ACE WITH THESE FABULOUS ASEXUALISE DESIGNS THAT MAKE FAB

ASEXUAL CHRISTMAS PRESENTS

  

Looking for Asexual merchandise for asexual Christmas presents, such asexual T-shirts; asexual hoodies; asexual skirts; or asexual gifts, including asexual phone cases, asexual laptop cases, asexual bed linen, asexual mugs, asexual clocks, and far more, check out the list below of asexual merchandise that I sell on my Redbubble shop here: www.redbubble.com/people/asexualise/shop

If you live in an area which Amazon USA ships to, then browse the products on this site’s home page for asexual Christmas presents at asexualise.com

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