What Does It Mean To Be Asexual? – What Is Asexuality?

Posted on by Asexualise

What does it mean to be asexual? Is something that many people are curious about. To be asexual means your sexual orientation is different to heterosexuals, pansexuals, bisexuals, and homosexuals, because those sexualities are all about who you are sexually attracted to, but asexuality is a sexual orientation that is the lack of sexual attraction, and means in broad terms you are sexually attracted to no one. So you don’t look at any gender/person and think I want ‘sex with you’. You don’t get the need, urge, or want, for partnered sexual intercourse, in fact you often feel that is one of the worse things you could be doing, and would much rather be doing other things.

An easy way to remember it, is that the word ‘A’ and the word ‘sexual’, are put together to form the word ‘Asexual’, and the ‘A’ stands for ‘absence of’ sexual attraction.

The full definition of Asexuality according to Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality :

Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to others, or low or absent interest in or desire for sexual activity

So this is where is can get a bit blurry, because many asexuals lack sexual attraction and others could just have low or absent interest in sexual activity, but still have some sexual attraction, yet not want to have sex or not be interested in sexual activities – in my experience these latter asexuals are usually on the Grey-Asexual end of the asexual spectrum. It also depends on how you define sexual activity. Some asexuals who lack sexual attraction, could participate sexual activities, and may like that, as sexual behaviour is not the same as sexual attraction. So for example, some asexuals may like to touch all over the body of their partner, and to touch the genitals of their partner and masturbate them, but not want sex, and never feel the need, urge, or want for sex. Many others will be completely repulsed by that idea. Or they may like doing sexual activities with themselves, such as masturbating themselves, whether that be manually with their hands/fingers, or using sex toys, but not with anyone else. Not all asexuals masturbate, but a number of them do, and they would rather do that than have anyone else doing sexual acts with them. Some asexuals still have a sex drive, but it’s not aimed at anyone and others still get aroused, but that arousal doesn’t lead to a need, urge, or want, to have partnered sexual intercourse, it’s just something their body does naturally. Some asexuals are romantic and still experience romantic attraction and others experience no romantic attraction.

  • Attraction to the opposite gender romantically = heteroromantic
  • Attraction to the same gender romantically = homoromantic
  • Attracted to both the same and opposite gender = biromantic
  • Attraction to any possible gender romantically = panromantic
  • Asexual and no romantic attraction = aromantic asexual (You can also get aromantic sexuals, those who do want sex, and do experience sexual attraction, but are not romantic)

So if you look at anyone and think, I want to have sex with you and you would have it in reality with them, given the chance, you would NOT be asexual. 

So asexuality is a spectrum, ranging from those who experience no sexual attraction and no romantic attraction, to those who experience romantic attraction but no sexual attraction, to those who are on the more sexual end of the asexual spectrum and may experience sexual attraction, under limited, rare, or specific circumstances, but not enough to want to act on it. (There are also lots of sub-identities too on this spectrum, but I want to stick to basics for this article.) There are also people who are known as demisexual, which falls under Grey Asexuality, and means they don’t experience sexual attraction at all, unless and until, a very deep emotional bond has been formed. The bond usually also has to be maintained and sustained for the sexual attraction to still exist. Some demisexuals can live quite happily without sex ever, even if they do form that bond and experience sexual attraction, others need to have sex in a relationship, once they experience sexual attraction, which is no good if they are in a relationship with a monogamous sex-repulsed asexual who doesn’t want sex ever, and especially if they don’t want to do any sexual activities either.

There is also an aromatic spectrum:

  • Aromantic = no romantic attraction
  • Grey-Romantic = can experience romantic attraction, in limited, under limited, rare, or specific circumstances, but not enough to want to act on it
  • Demi-Romantic = can experience romantic attraction only when a deep emotional bond has been formed
  • Cupioromantic = desires to have a romantic relationship and be romantic, despite not experiencing romantic attraction

So there is a lot of things to consider when you first discover you are asexual and where you fall on the asexual spectrum. If you want to know more about asexuality and you want to be shown what the asexual spectrum is, rather than just be given text book definitions, and to read 47 different asexual perspectives on love, life and sex, and what it feels like to be asexual in this highly sexualised world, and get the best advice on how to survive it, get a copy of ASEXUAL PERSPECTIVES: 47 Asexual Stories: LOVE, LIFE and SEX, ACElebration of ASEXUAL DIVERSITY here https://amzn.to/2L9Y9qI 

If you have fibromyalgia, or you suffer with depression or anxiety, you should check out my autobiographical Fibromyalgia Self-Help Handbook as not only does it mention asexuality in the book, it also explains how to overcome depression and decrease your anxiety, and the techniques work, regardless of whether you have fibromyalgia or not. I know a lot of asexuals who have depression and anxiety, and this book will really help with that, check out www.acefibrogirl.com and see the reviews – which are by asexuals who don’t have fibro, and it helped them! https://amzn.to/2Y8msdZ

Fibromyalgia Self-Help Handbook

Looking for asexual merch? https://www.redbubble.com/people/asexualise/shop

 

SEX IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK! ASEXUAL AWARENESS WEEK Live Stream Interview With My Asexual Best Friend, Tonight at 7pm , UK Time! Asexuality Discovery And Gender Identity!

Posted on by Asexualise

This week is Asexual Awareness Week in case you didn’t already know, and on my www.youtube.com/asexualisemyasexuallife channel I have been doing a series of videos about asexuality to raise awareness and understanding of this sexual orientation that is the lack of sexual attraction. Tonight, at 7pm UK time GMT, I have a live interview with my Asexual best friend who identifies as Non-binary. So I will be talking to them about how they first discovered they are asexual and about gender identity, particularly what is means to be non-binary! Make sure you subscribe to my channel www.youtube.com/asexualisemyasexuallife and hit the bell icon so you get notified of every time I go live or post a new video on my Asexualise channel. I try to live stream every day usually after 11pm at night and you can catch up with it afterwards if you miss an episode. Tonight’s episode is at the much earlier time of 7pm. Even if you are not asexual, supporters and those taking a genuine interest in what asexuality is, are always welcome to join in the live chat.

If you are questioning as to whether you may be asexual or you want to know more about asexuality, please watch this video about signs you may be asexual!

If you have any questions about asexuality after watching these videos, please comment below!

I am with my Asexual best friend from today for 5 days in total and doing lots of fun stuff, including going to the Disney on Ice show on Saturday and it’s their birthday on Monday, so we are having a pre-birthday asexual group meetup on Sunday and going to Plymouth Aquarium on Monday, to see the new Terminator movie and eating in Nandos. In effect it’s 5 days of birthday fun for them and me, because I feel like it’s my birthday too! They are one of the bestest friends I have ever had in my life! So pleased I met them, they make the world a more special and precious place, just by being in it!

If you want to read more about asexuality, you can get a copy of my first book for asexuals, ASEXUAL PERSPECTIVES: 47 Asexual Stories: LOVE, LIFE and SEX, ACElebration of ASEXUAL DIVERSITY, here https://amzn.to/31OkTlA

Until next time, always stay ACE!

Lots of love

Sandra xx

10 Common Myths About Asexuals and Asexuality – BUSTED!

Posted on by Asexualise
Myths about asexuals and asexuality

There are many common myths about asexuals and asexuality. Some due to ignorance, some due to closed mindedness and others are just outright confused, which I put largely down to a lack of education and societal conditioning! So here are 10 Common myths about asexuals and asexuality – busted!

  1. Asexuals never have sex – Simply not true. Some asexuals never have sex and others choose to do it or try it, for whatever reason. This could be to please a partner; to do it as an activity to do, which they may even find fun, like a bored game; or to have kids.
  2. If asexuals don’t have sex, then they never masturbate! – Not true! Whilst some asexuals don’t ever masturbate, other’s do, because they do have a libido, despite it not being aimed at any one, as they don’t experience sexual attraction.
  3. Asexuals are asexual because they “can’t get laid” – Not true. Asexuals can have sex if they want to, many don’t want to as they are not sexually attracted to anyone and so sex does not appeal to them. However, some asexuals do have sex and I am asexual and had sex in the past with some of my heterosexual ex boyfriends. I don’t want to have sex ever again, as these days I am personally sex-repulsed for me.
  4. Asexuals are just people who can’t get dates – Wrong. Many asexuals can get dates, but with sex usually expected at the end of the date, many asexuals would rather not bother. On the other hand, if sex is not on the table, then  a large number of sexuals won’t want to have a date with an asexual, (unless they believe we will change our mind about having sex if we previously said we don’t want it), because they want sex and it’s important that they get it, and if they don’t, there is a lower incentive for them to date an asexual – Even though we have got many awesome qualities and can make someone happy without sex, some sexuals need sex, and that is it!
  5. Asexuals never have any sexual behaviour! – Not true. Whilst some don’t exhibit any sexual behaviour, others do! Sometimes this is behind closed doors, such as masturbating themselves, or they may have oral sex, anal sex, or masturbate their partner! It may also be in front of others, such as dancing very sexily, like grinding!
  6. If someone is asexual then it means they are gay or lesbian – Wrong. Whilst asexuality is considered to be part of the LGBT+QIA acronym – the A standing for asexual, but some also consider it to stand for Allie, Agender or Androgynous , it does not mean all asexuals are gay and lesbian, in fact in terms of not being sexually attracted to anyone, gay or lesbian may be considered the wrong term to use for those who are attracted to the same gender, just not sexually. However, some asexuals may identify as a gay or lesbian asexual – for example a homoromantic; homo – meaning attracted to the same gender, romantic – meaning they are attracted romantically (to the same gender). And some asexuals like me, identify as heteroromantic. Hetero – meaning attracted to the opposite gender – romantically. It does annoy me when I say to someone I am asexual and they say, “So you’re a lesbian then” and I say, “No, I am attracted only to guys, but romantically, not sexually. I love to kiss, cuddle and hold their hand, but I don’t want sex with them as I don’t experience any sexual attraction. I have had sex in the past because I thought I had to, as part of a ‘normal’ relationship, before I found out I am asexual! I have gay and lesbian friends, but I am not a lesbian.”
  7. Asexuals never get attracted to anyone. Wrong again! Some asexuals, for example some aromantic asexuals – those who are neither romantically or sexually attracted to anyone, may not experience any type of attraction to anyone, others will likely experience platonic attraction. Many other types of asexuals do experience some form of attraction, even though it’s not sexual. So they could experience romantic attraction, aesthetic attraction, intelligence attraction, spiritual attraction, emotional attraction. And in my case I experience all those towards different guys, and I also experience creative attraction and clothes attraction. So I get super attracted to guys who are creative and making things and doing stuff. I also get attracted to guys wearing certain types of clothes, such as the ‘street’ look, or a black and white suit! And as part of my intelligence attraction, I get super attracted to guys who are into IT, and can build websites and code! With that attraction, coupled with romance and intelligence attraction, well I just want to snog (passionately kiss) the guy! I am a rare asexual in that I don’t experience any platonic attraction, which means I get some type of attraction for my close guy friends even, which can be rather annoying at times, as I don’t wish to feel romantic over a guy who is just a friend, but as I am also a hyper-romantic, I just have to let myself feel these feelings and accept they are a part of me. Resisting them makes things worse, so it’s best just to be open, upfront and honest about it. And no, I don’t want multiple partners as I am fiercely monogamous, not polyamorous. I would rather focus my attractions towards one romantic partner, if I had one.
  8. Asexuals never watch porn! This isn’t true either! Whilst there are asexuals, like me, who never ‘watch’ porn, in fact I personally detest it, I know some asexuals that do watch porn. Many asexuals who do this, say it helps them to masturbate, which they want to do, to relive their libido.
  9. Asexuals never participate in BDSM! Nope! This isn’t true! Some asexuals do participate in BDSM, just without the sexual intercourse. Some asexuals who do have sex, may participate in BDSM whilst also having sex. I personally hate BDSM and want to run a mile from anyone wanting to do that to/with me. Luckily not one heterosexual ex, ever even hinted at that.
  10. Asexuals never have any fetishes! Still wrong! Some asexuals do have fetishes. I have known a few asexual guys who have foot fetishes for example, which makes them want to massage a partner’s feet, and pay close attention to their feet, without the person putting their foot in their penis and stroking their penis with it – which apparently is what a sexual guy likes to do, if he has a foot fetish, or so I was told by one asexual guy, but as I don’t get involved with fetishes either, and I thankfully have not had a relationship in the past with a guy like this, which is my preference, then I have no hands on experience of this, if you pardon the pun!

At the end of the day, ALL asexuals are different and whatever they do or don’t like is up to them and it’s up to you! Our difference is our beauty and it’s more important to be a diverse group of people than copycats of others. There is no one size fits all, when it comes to being asexual or having asexuality as your sexual orientation and that’s ACE!

To quote Wikipedia, the full definition of asexuality is:

“Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to others, or low or absent interest in or desire for sexual activity.[1][2][3] It may be considered a sexual orientation or the lack thereof.[4][5][6] It may also be categorized more widely to include a broad spectrum of asexual sub-identities.[7]”

If you want to discover more about these asexual myths and other myths and stereotypes of asexuality, check out my Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Love, Life and Sex, ACElebration of Asexual Diversity book on Amazon, here https://amzn.to/2nttgoD 

Until next time, always stay ACE!

And don’t forget to share this post for Asexual Awareness Week from Sunday 20th of October – Saturday 26th of October 2019, to educate others about asexuality!

Sandra xx

FIBROMYALGIA SELF-HELP HANDBOOK: ACE FIBRO GIRL – HOW TO BE YOUR OWN SUPERHERO AND SAVE YOURSELF FROM PAIN

Posted on by Asexualise

ACE FIBRO GIRL FIBROMYALGIA SUPERHERO HANDBOOK

My FIBROMYALGIA SELF-HELP HANDBOOK is now published and so is my www.acefibrogirl.com site. If you want to change your life you need this book! Yes, the book is aimed at people with Fibromyalgia, BUT this book is a revolutionary way to manage your life, to have less pain, more energy and feel happier, forever, and the formula for doing this which I share in this book, can be applied to any person’s life, to become super successful at having and creating a better quality of life for yourself. Even if you don’t have fibro, it will truly change your life! Many asexuals suffer with depression and anxiety and this book helps free you of depression, lower your anxiety, and increase your confidence, several asexuals I know, have bought this book for that reason. It also introduces asexuality in the chapter about intimacy – so this book spreads more awareness of asexuality to an audience of fibro people, who mostly won’t have heard of asexuality! ACE in front of FIBRO GIRL – I chose because I am asexual and also it means you excel in something, which for me, is managing my fibromyalgia incredibly well.

Many people with fibromyalgia have anxiety and depression too. This FIBROMYALGIA SELF-HELP HANDBOOK, is a truly revolutionary way of managing your life to have less pain, (including emotional), more energy – which many people need, and to feel happy – which we all need! You don’t need a Kindle – you can download the Kindle AP to read this book now! https://amzn.to/2HbHzVl

If you wondered why I had been so quiet on this blog, it was because I was getting this book finished and I had to keep going and put all my time, energy and effort into it! And I also started to write a second book for asexuals too, yey! With two more planned afterwards! This FIBROMYALGIA SELF-HELP HANDBOOK, was a book I wrote the bulk of in 2017, and finally got it out on Kindle last week. It’s an autobiographical self-help, how-to book! Many people who suffer with depression and anxiety – who haven’t got fibro, have bought this book to help them to truly change their life – I hope you will be one of those people!

HERE IS THE BLURB! (Even if you don’t have fibro – you WILL still get value from this book!)

If you feel like fibromyalgia is ruining your life and taking over it, if fibromyalgia leaves you feeling depleted in energy, in constant pain, and you are sick and tired of struggling, of feeling depressed, hopeless and helpless, and you desperately want to relieve your symptoms of pain, feel more energy and be happier, you need this book. I am living proof that it really doesn’t have to be that way. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 2012, yet I have the most energetic, happy, vibrant and fulfilling life ever, since my diagnosis and in spite of it, but what’s my secret? My mission is to empower you to live a more energetic, vibrant and fulfilling life, in spite of your fibro, using unconventional methods, simple techniques and concrete ways that really work!

This revolutionary Fibromyalgia Self-Help Handbook shows you a truly remarkable and uniquely holistic “Superhero Rockstar” way to manage your fibromyalgia, step-by-step, which you will never have seen before. This book exposes you to the real truth about why you are suffering with fibromyalgia and what keeps your pain locked inside you. It shows you what it really takes to manage your fibromyalgia in 25 aspects of your life, to reduce your pain, with practical, helpful, simple and easy to follow, actionable advice, that is direct and to the point, so you can finally take back control of your life; have more happiness; more energy and more freedom from your pain, so you own your fibro and it doesn’t own you. This book gets your fibromyalgia working for you, rather than against you, so you can truly thrive, flourish, and feel alive, in spite of it.

This no-nonsense fibromyalgia self-help handbook, literally gives you the antidotes to save yourself from pain. By being more informed about what’s most effective for coping with fibromyalgia from someone who has fibromyalgia, who understands your plight, frustrations and problems that fibromyalgia gives you, you’ll be able to implement positive action steps that will dramatically improve the quality of your life. Within this book, you will discover the insider secrets and effective strategies to managing and reducing your pain, so much so, that your fibromyalgia becomes insignificant!

This book is not a cure for fibromyalgia, but a complete holistic system for managing your fibromyalgia. This book is for those with fibromyalgia, those who think they show signs of having fibromyalgia; for family, friends, or loved ones of those who have the condition, and for anyone and everyone who is keen and eager to know more about fibromyalgia and how to manage it to have less pain, more energy and feel happier.

Think of this book as your fibro bible and blueprint for how to be your best self, and live your best life! In the chapters that follow, I will explain exactly how I’m able to have, maintain and sustain, my energy levels, so you can do the same. I will explain exactly what mindset you need to have to effectively reduce your pain; what foods to eat and not to eat to ease your pain; what footwear to buy to stop your feet from swelling most of the time; how to zap depression where it hurts; how to reduce your anxiety and worry less; how to thrive and flourish in spite of fibro, and so much more. In a nutshell, you will discover the secret formula for long lasting mental health and happiness, and how to be your own superhero to save yourself from pain!

If you value your quality of life, if you are sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, with living in agony, pain and misery, with little energy and hope for the future, and it’s making you feel depressed, if you have decided you can no longer go on like this and you need practical, helpful advice, you can put into action instantly to start making dramatic changes rapidly, to feel better, forever, this book IS DEFINITELY FOR YOU! Don’t waste another moment of your precious life suffering, when you don’t have to, buy now!

Remember – Even if you don’t have fibro – you WILL still get value from this book! It will change your life for the better, forever!

You don’t need a Kindle – you can download the Kindle AP to read this book now! UK https://amzn.to/2TJ7HfD  Amazon .com https://amzn.to/2HbHzVl   Check out your local Amazon store now to get this book. You can also order it in print from Amazon or any good book store.

Like my new ACE FIBRO PAGE for advice on how to live your best life, be happy and as pain free as possible! https://www.facebook.com/ACEFIBROGIRL

As always, stay ACE.

Sandra xx

Sandra Bellamy Author Of Asexual Perspectives Personal Asexuality Journey Interview On Freestyle Your Life Podcast

Posted on by Asexualise

Freestyle Your Life Podcast

I am so happy to have been interviewed on the Freestyle Your Life (FLY) Podcast about my personal asexual journey and about asexuality. My asexual journey has been a transformational one.

My Discovery:

In March/April 2014 I discovered I am a heteroromantic asexual. I am attracted to guys romantically not sexually. I don’t get the need, urge, or want, for partnered sexual intercourse. I love kissing especially and cuddling, but not sex. Yes, I had sex in the past because I thought I had to as part of a ‘normal’ relationship, as we are all conditioned to believe since birth. Yes, I did say conditioned, but sex is not for everyone. Love without sex, does exist. One of my asexual friends is getting married to his asexual partner next month and I couldn’t be more happy for them.

More About Me:

If you are new to this website and blog and you didn’t already know, I am the Author of this beautifully insightful book about Asexuality, called Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Love, Life and Sex, ACElebration of Asexual Diversity. So if you want to read more about my personal asexual story you can read about it in my book here https://amzn.to/2YEGD2y Or here if you live in the USA https://amzn.to/30nTarT Or worldwide at https://www.sellfy.com/quirkybooks.net or you can order the paperback version from all good book shops around the globe under Quirky Books – yes, that’s my own publishing imprint.

 

Asexual Perspectives print book
Author Sandra Bellamy With Her Asexual Perspectives Paperback Book.

I am also the founder of this site and www.asexualiseacademy.com

I design and sell merchandise for asexuals on Amazon and Redbubble

I also live stream daily on my www.youtube.com/asexualisemyasexuallife channel.

My Freestyle Your Life Podcast Interview:

My podcast interview with Freestyle Your Life, goes live on Tuesday 9th July 2019 on ITunes, Stitcher and Spotify. It will be available to listen to from midnight on 8th of July, so you can listen to it on the 9th, no matter what country you are in. I had a lot of synergy with this presenter as she is all about being your true authentic self, no matter what, and has a hugely powerful personal story of overcoming adversity herself.

These are the links where my episode, (episode 26), will be live to listen to from the 9th of July 2019!

This is the exact link to my specific episode: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep026-how-to-embrace-your-quirky-asexuality-sandra/id1458343184?i=1000443926237

https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/freestyleyourlife-podcast

You can find my episode on Spotify at number 26!

Podcast

I hope you enjoy listening to it!

As always, stay ace.

Sandra xx

 

Virginity Is Awesome!

Posted on by Asexualise

This Virginity is Awesome video is taken from my www.youtube.com/quirkybooksTV channel and was recorded in 2015 for a Quirky Love video series. I feel that society bashes people for being a virgin and makes people feel they should be ashamed if they haven’t found someone to have sex with and given their virginity away. I am here to tell you the opposite, I think it’s amazing if you are a virgin and I would date a virgin. I think it’t great if you have kept your virginity for yourself and it is something you should be very proud of. In a world that pushes sex upon you, remaining strong and true to who you are, and not letting anyone take that from you, means you are a super strong person. Be proud and don’t let anyone put you down.

Although some asexuals have had sex, many are virgins and inexperienced at sex. As asexuals can love, live, and be happy without sex, there is no “need” for them to have sex if they don’t want to. Even though I have had sex in the past because I thought I had to as part of a relationship, I still believe it’s beautiful when asexuals keep that for themselves and I would definitely say not to let anyone convince you of a need to do that. Stay strong, and keep being you.

Watch my Virginity is Awesome video and let me know what you think.

As always, until next time, stay ace

I love you

Sandra xx

Make Self Love A Must!

Posted on by Asexualise

If you feel you are lacking self love, this Love Yourself No Matter What video is from you. This video is taken from my www.youtube.com/quirkybooksTV channel and was recorded in 2015 for a Quirky Love video series. I feel that some times asexuals lack self love and I want to fill your self-love cup up with this video and hope it helps you in your life.

As always, until next time, stay ace

I love you

Sandra xx

Sex, Sexuality and being Asexual

Posted on by Asexualise

No matter what sexuality you are, embrace it and each others. Accept people for who they are, including their sexuality, and love them as if you would love yourself. This is the powerful message I share in this video, and this was on my www.youtube.com/quirkybooksTV channel, even before I started my www.youtube.com/asexualisemyasexuallife channel, later that same year, in 2015.

I have both asexual and highly sexual heterosexual friends. I respect people for who they are, and despite not wanting sex again in my life for myself, I see nothing wrong with sexuals enjoying sex if it’s consensual and no one is getting hurt in the process. However, I do feel that asexual love is a far more pure love in the sense that genitals are not needed to be involved. Do you agree?

It you want to receive life hacks on how to live your best life, be your best self, and live your purpose, hit the subscribe button on my www.youtube.com/quirkybooksTV channel now! And if you are not already subscribed to my Asexualise channel, please do so now, here www.youtube.com/asexualisemyasexuallife Don’t forget to hit that bell icon so you get notified of every time I go live or post a new video. I do a daily live stream show where you can ask me anything you like about asexuality, in the live chat.

Until next time, stay ace

Sandra xx

New Asexual Sex Stories Book – Opportunity To Take Part!!

Posted on by Asexualise
Happy Pride Month,

It’s almost two years since my Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Love, Life and Sex, ACElebration of Asexual Diversity bookwent into print and could be obtained globally through Amazon’s very own distribution network, under my own imprint of Quirky Books. Yes, I am a register publisher user that name. That book will always be dear to my heart as not only is it my first book published for asexuals, I learnt such a lot from interviewing all the 46 Asexuals in it. Far more than I would have ever learnt just from reading text book definitions about asexuality. And as always, July will be #APAM, Asexual Perspectives Awareness Month, where each day for 31 days, I have a video with excerpts from the book to celebrate our diversity across the spectrum on my channel www.youtube.com/asexualisemyasexuallife.

I have decided to write my second asexual book, and am looking for asexuals who want to take part in this book and be interviewed for it, only this one is a bit different. This one is called ASEXUAL SEX STORIES: THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE FUGLY. REAL LIFE ASEXUAL SEX STORIES. So as you might have guessed the people who I am looking for to be interviewed, are asexuals who have had sex before, to share their experiences with others. to help other asexuals who are not sure whether or not they want to try sex and are looking for the good, bad, and damn right fugly things about having sex, so they can make an informed choice and decision about whether they want to try it or not. It will also prove a very insightful read for anyone who is asexual who doesn’t want to experience sex themselves, but has always been curious as to what it feels like for an asexual to have sex.

This book will also be a great read for anyone who is not asexual, but who wants to get a deeper understanding of what sex really feels like for an asexual and to gain greater insight into how an asexual thinks and feels about sex, from a very personal experience point of view.

If you are an asexual who has had sex at some point or know of an asexual friend who has and may like to take part in this book, please can you get them to contact me asexualise@gmail.com with the subject line of “I want to be interviewed for your Asexual Sex Stories book!’ 

You will be sent a questionnaire that you need to fill in fully, in order to be considered for this book. Answers need to be in to me by 30th of June 2019, to be considered for publication. All answers will be gone through thoroughly next month, July 2019, and you may be contacted for further information or questions about your answers in that month.

As well as sharing the good, the bad and the ugly of their experience of having sex, interviewee’s will also be asked questions to advise other asexuals who are thinking about having sex for the first time ever and not sure about whether they should do it or not. This book will be available to buy on Amazon, and globally in print under my own imprint of Quirky Books. As with the last book, it will also be in the British Library and others too.

This book came about because I have an aromatic asexual friend who was asking me what do if they were to try sex and because I saw many asexuals in groups saying that when they have had sex before, they did not know what to do with their arms etc, so I thought there is a need for this book. It also gives asexuals a voice to tell others what it really feels like to be asexual and have sex, rather than sexuals just giving their opinion all the time.

If you are looking for asexual merch to celebrate this pride month, please visit my Asexualise shop www.redbubble.com/people/asexualise/shop

Until next time, stay ace

Sandra xx

Asexual Perspectives Answers | What Advice Would You Have Given A Younger Version Of Yourself In Regard To Asexuality?

Posted on by Asexualise

 Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories bookIn my Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Love, Life and Sex, ACElebration Of Asexual Diversity book I asked each person I interviewed for the book this question:

If you were to look back at your life, what advice would you have given a younger version of yourself in regard to asexuality?

In Chapter 48, on page 450 of the printed edition of Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, South American Anonymous’s answer to this question is awe-inspiring:

Seriously, I would explain to myself everything I know about orientations and genders right now and I would emphasise that we are not broken, and there’s nothing wrong with being who we are, and what other people say doesn’t matter and we should have more courage to face what’s up ahead. 

In Chapter 45, on page 418 of the printed edition of Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Claire Evelyn’s answer is short and spot on!

That it is okay to follow your own path and not follow the masses.

In Chapter 20, on page 196 of the printed edition of Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Geeske Van Der Poel’s answer is important to note:

Asexuality is not wrong, just be who you are. You Should not feel guilty for not giving your parents any grandchildren, either.

In Chapter 13, on page 121 of the printed edition of Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, always remember Dee’s advice:

Don’t have any sex unless you’re confident you want it. 

In Chapter 10, on page 88 of the printed edition of Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Nikki has valuable advice to share:

Realize earlier that it is ok! I thought for ages that I was just slow to develop the urges and interests everyone my age had and pushed myself to be a participant in sexual culture. I would tell my younger self that I’m fine the way I am and to find the confidence to participate in our sexually charged culture in an asexual way.

If you want more fantastic advice like this, from real life asexuals across the globe, get a copy of my Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Love, Life and Sex ACElebration of Asexual Diversity book here if you live in the UK https://amzn.to/2WeBlhf or here if you live in the USA https://amzn.to/2WedNZI It is also available across many other Amazon stores and can be requested from all good book stores in print format, as it’s published using my own publishing imprint of Quirky Books, which is a registered publisher in the UK, and I use Amazon to publish and distribute the books globally for me. I also have the ebook version available at www.sellfy.com/quirkybooks.net