WHY I WROTE ASEXUAL PERSPECTIVES, LOVE, LIFE AND SEX, ACElebration OF ASEXUAL DIVERSITY BOOK!

Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories book and Author Sandra Bellamy

If you did not already know. I have written and published a book for Asexuals called Asexual Perspectives, Love, Life and Sex, ACElebration of Asexual Diversity. I interviewed 46 asexuals around the globe for it about what they really think of love, life and sex, in order to create more understanding across the spectrum, and especially after I was told in a forum on Aven that I could not identify as I describe myself because I did not fit into the definition of Grey A as they saw it. Other asexuals approached me and said they too felt left out and that they were told they could not be who they are. As a minority group, I felt so appalled that some asexuals treat other asexuals in this manner and felt compelled to write a book that showed although we share a lack of asexual attraction, just how much we vary in our experiences, our likes, needs, wants and dislikes. I want our diversity to be embraced, not torn apart.

Asexual Perspectives came out on Kindle last month and the printed version will be available soon. It took me almost a year to write it and I hope it helps a lot of asexuals to understand that there are others just like us out there and that we can be ourselves and love without sex, live without sex and be happy without sex. I also wanted to find out just what sexual attraction means to different aces on the spectrum and why they feel that asexuality is not accepted as a form of sexual orientation in its own right by society and what they think can be done about this.

This is the link to it on http://amzn.to/2l8PaGu You can get it on Amazon stores across the globe, so you can just click the option in the top right of your screen to view it on your country’s site. It is free to read on Kindle Unlimited at the moment and you can read my own personal story just from the look inside preview. You can also read most of another personal story from a person in this group…

This is the description:

In broad terms Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction, but what does this actually mean for those who identify with this sexual orientation? And what do asexuals really think of love, life and sex?

Whilst all asexuals have one thing in common – the lack of sexual attraction towards a specific person, we are all different in our likes, needs, wants and dislikes. This can make fitting into the asexual spectrum and finding a suitable relationship difficult.

Right now, there are a number of myths about asexuality and stereotypes – even within the asexual community, about what asexuals do and do not like, should and should not do, and these need to be addressed and broken through!

If you identify as asexual do you –

Struggle to have a voice in this sexualized world?
Feel alone?
Misunderstood?
Misplaced?
Broken?
Left out?
Not recognised?
Have no one to relate to?
Find it difficult to find others like you?
Feel like everyone is speaking a foreign language where sex is concerned?

Or are you unsure of your identity and sometimes get confused and you want to know what asexuals really think of Love, Life and Sex, and what experiences they have had or are having; and how they manage their relationships? If so, then look no further than this book. In this book you will discover asexuals who feel just like you.

In this book I will reveal my own asexual perspective and personal story as well as perspectives from 46 asexuals around the globe; dispelling myths and breaking stereotypes; sharing their own personal journey to help you in yours and with a surprising over-riding message!

In this book you will:

•Learn the asexual perspectives of Aromantics; Heteroromantics; Homoromantics; Panromantics; Grey Aces; Demi-sexual; Biromantic; Agender; Transgender; Polyamorous and many more.

•Uncover Asexuals’ deepest fears, concerns and worries about being asexual.

•Find out possible reasons why, in general, society does not accept asexuality as a sexual orientation in its own right and what we can do about this to change the world!

•Discover what asexuals really believe are the differences between sexual attraction, sexual desire and arousal.

•Find out what asexuals really think of nudity; porn; masturbation; BDSM and kinks.

•Discover what it feels like to have sex as an asexual and how to cope with the sexualized world that we live in.

•Find out what asexuals think about living together, about marriage and about having kids.

•Discover what an ideal asexual relationship would look like and whether asexuals believe a relationship with a sexual would be fair or not.

•Uncover the positives about being asexual.

•Find out what advice asexuals would give to a younger version of themselves regarding asexuality and what advice they would give to others who are just discovering they may be asexual.

I feel truly blessed that all interviewees have been willing to open up and share their most intimate moments, thoughts, feelings and emotions with you. What you are about to read is unique, amazing, interesting, sometimes candidly humorous, fascinating and insightful. This is their story, now it’s their time to tell it.

If you have resonated with any of these points and you want to know more, please invest in this book.
Heteroromantic, Author Sandra Bellamy is the founder of www.asexualise.com, with products, resources and services for asexuals. She sees herself as an ambassador for asexuality and is on a mission to get asexuality recognised as a sexual orientation in its own right throughout the globe so that no asexual has to live in fear of ridicule ever again. By purchasing this book you will gain a deeper understanding of this often misunderstood sexual orientation and help to spread awareness of asexuality at the same time. We may be small in numbers, but we can still make a huge difference to the world at large and celebrate our diversity.

10 Reasons Why It’s Important To Self-Date! #ICBSD

Me (Sandra Bellamy) Going For A Self-date To Bristol for #ICBSD International Celebrate Being Single Day.
Butterfly from Bristol Zoo
Butterfly In The Butterfly Tent At Bristol Zoo.
Font in Bristol Zoo
Can You Spot The Goby?
Baby Tortoise
Baby Tortoise At Bristol Zoo.
Blue Frog
Blue Frog In Bristol Zoo.

Self-dating is a must for all single people, and here are 10 Reasons Why It’s Important To Self-Date!

  1. It reconnects you with your soul!
  2. You can get to know yourself even better.
  3. It builds strength of character.
  4. It boosts your confidence.
  5. It improves your self-esteem.
  6. It’s an act of self-love and compassion.
  7. You can do what you want and see what you want and go where you want, without anyone saying anything negative, so you can fully enjoy the moment.
  8. You can eat as much as you want without feeling bad or guilty. And you can buy yourself gifts to make you happy.
  9. It emphasizes that you don’t need anyone else and empowers you to be more happy as a single person.
  10. You know yourself better than anyone and you can create a feeling of joy, happiness and magic, all by yourself. That is super-empowering!

As you can see from these photos, I had an awesome self-date in Bristol for International Celebrating Being Single Day, #ICBSD. I went to Bristol Zoo, ate 3 meals out, and saw the movies ‘Sing’ and ‘Batman Lego Movie’. Both films were ace!

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL CELEBRATE BEING SINGLE DAY – FEB 14TH 2017 #ICBSD

INTERNATIONAL CELEBRATE BEING SINGLE DAY

I am in Bristol later today to celebrate being single – going to the zoo and for a meal and to the cinema – which is what I did last year as shown in this video.

Lots of love and hugs, stay ace xx

INTERNATIONAL CELEBRATE BEING SINGLE DAY – 7 STEPS HOW TO BECOME HAPPY BEING SINGLE!

International Celebrate Being Single Day - Feb 14th.
International Celebrate Being Single Day – Feb 14th.

International Celebrate Being Single Day is just around the corner (Feb 14th), and having founded this special day for singles to celebrate being single, you may be asking yourself, just what is so great about being single.

Since being predominantly single from November 5th, 2011, I began to challenge my mind about the way it thinks about being in a relationship and being single. I was in relationships with guys who were no good for me since 15 years of age – until 2011 – about 19 years of my life! With the largest period of being single in that time, just 6 months! 2 relationships I had were long term (not good for me) and lasted years. I wasn’t a happy person back then and had low self-esteem. I did not like being on my own because I felt alone and very lonely, I liked to be needed, wanted and loved, and felt I wanted someone there for me 24/7 as life would be boring on my own. I am also a very romantic person.

It is fine to want to be needed, wanted and loved – but what I have discovered is that you need to get these 3 things from yourself first and foremost; to be at one with your own soul – then you will you be happy and fulfilled as a single person and less likely to get into a relationship that is no good for you because you will not ‘need’ to be in a relationship. In fact, you may fill your own life with so much joy and happiness that being in a relationship no longer appeals to you. Either way,  you will have unleashed your power of one and be on your way to being a super successful single sensation.

7 STEPS HOW TO BECOME HAPPY BEING SINGLE

Step 1. You need to take stock of your life and realise that you have a problem being single and find out why that is.

Step 2. You need to be willing to have an open mind and accept you need to change in this respect.

Step 3. If you have been in relationships for most of your life, you need to give yourself some time to yourself and vow to do all you can to stay single for a set period of time – mine was a year; so I could have time to stop ‘needing’ someone. If on the other hand you have been single all your life and would like to be in a relationship but don’t know how to go about it, then you have some work to do on yourself to ensure you can be single and be happy – as well as work to do on your dating and relationship skills. You can still enjoy dating as a single person and it is good to see what is on offer from a variety of sources, rather than thinking one person is the only choice you have!

Step 4.You need to explore and find things to build your confidence and self-esteem, as well as discover ways to help you to be happy being single. This could include learning from books, articles, training courses, magazines, blogs, videos, audio books and podcasts, or through coaching and/or being mentored.

Step 5. You need to decide what ways you learn best –  visual, auditory (listen), verbal, written, – so you can pick which learning method is best for you and implement it. If you don’t know which suits you best, try each out until you find which works best for you. Being happy to be single is a skill you need to master and maintain and you need to recognise this and accept it.

Step 6. Take massive action. You need to implement what you have learned, if you are not prepared to do this then you will stay stuck being single and unhappy – everyone has a choice regardless of their circumstances. If you have no money there is free to watch YouTube videos, blog posts and online articles to read. There is no excuse for not changing your life!

Step 7. Evaluate and monitor your progress via each learning method. If something doesn’t work, then try something else until you can honestly say you are happy being single.

For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you may have seen my www.Twitter.com/quirkycoaching profile and thought, just what is #powerofone. Power Of One is a powerful online training and coaching programme that I am creating, to show you, just how to be single and be happy being single.

How are you celebrating being single on Feb 14th – International Celebrate Being Single Day?

Please add #ICBSD to any posts and media you post online to show how proud you are to celebrate International Celebrate Being Single Day!!

What struggles do you have being single and what help would you like to overcome them?

Until next time stay Ace!

Sandra

Would you rather have Furry Kids?

This is one of my furry kid Guinea Pigs called Angel. In this video she makes her YouTube debut on my www.youtube.com/quirkybooksTV channel. Angel wishes you lots of love this February. I also love to create poems and so there is one within this video called “Once There Was A Little Furry Kid” – let me know what you think?

I have noticed that a lot of asexuals love the company of furry kids and some would rather have the company of a pet than a human and certainly rather have the company of a pet, than live with a sexual person who has incompatible needs. What do you think about this idea? Can you relate?

Hope you love to Angel as much as I do. Stay ace xx

ASEXUAL PERSPECTIVES BOOK OUT ON KINDLE! Behind The Scenes Of What A Writer’s Life Is Really Like!

ASEXUAL PERSPECTIVES BOOK OUT ON KINDLE

My Asexual Perspectives, Love, Life and Sex, ACElebration of Asexuality Diversity book is now live and published on Amazon Kindle.

In broad terms Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction, but what does this actually mean for those who identify with this sexual orientation? And what do asexuals really think of love, life and sex?

Whilst all asexuals have one thing in common – the lack of sexual attraction towards a specific person, we are all different in our likes, needs, wants and dislikes. This can make fitting into the asexual spectrum and finding a suitable relationship difficult.

Right now, there are a number of myths about asexuality and stereotypes – even within the asexual community, about what asexuals do and do not like, should and should not do, and these need to be addressed and broken through!

If you identify as asexual do you –

Struggle to have a voice in this sexualized world?
Feel alone?
Misunderstood?
Misplaced?
Broken?
Left out?
Not recognised?
Have no one to relate to?
Find it difficult to find others like you?
Feel like everyone is speaking a foreign language where sex is concerned?

Or are you unsure of your identity and sometimes get confused and you want to know what asexuals really think of Love, Life and Sex, and what experiences they have had or are having; and how they manage their relationships? If so, then look no further than this book. In this book you will discover asexuals who feel just like you.

In this book I will reveal my own asexual perspective and personal story as well as perspectives from 46 asexuals around the globe; dispelling myths and breaking stereotypes; sharing their own personal journey to help you in yours and with a surprising over-riding message!

In this book you will:

•Learn the asexual perspectives of Aromantics; Heteroromantics; Homoromantics; Panromantics; Grey Aces; Demi-sexual; Biromantic; Agender; Transgender; Polyamorous and many more.

•Uncover Asexuals’ deepest fears, concerns and worries about being asexual.

•Find out possible reasons why, in general, society does not accept asexuality as a sexual orientation in its own right and what we can do about this to change the world!

•Discover what asexuals really believe are the differences between sexual attraction, sexual desire and arousal.

•Find out what asexuals really think of nudity; porn; masturbation; BDSM and kinks.

•Discover what it feels like to have sex as an asexual and how to cope with the sexualized world that we live in.

•Find out what asexuals think about living together, about marriage and about having kids.

•Discover what an ideal asexual relationship would look like and whether asexuals believe a relationship with a sexual would be fair or not.

•Uncover the positives about being asexual.

•Find out what advice asexuals would give to a younger version of themselves regarding asexuality and what advice they would give to others who are just discovering they may be asexual.

I feel truly blessed that all interviewees have been willing to open up and share their most intimate moments, thoughts, feelings and emotions with you. What you are about to read is unique, amazing, interesting, sometimes candidly humorous, fascinating and insightful. This is their story, now it’s their time to tell it.

If you have resonated with any of these points and you want to know more, please invest in this book and shop now, here https://amzn.to/2wsO8Oi

Heteroromantic, Author Sandra Bellamy is the founder of www.asexualise.com, with products, resources and services for asexuals. She sees herself as an ambassador for asexuality and is on a mission to get asexuality recognised as a sexual orientation in its own right throughout the globe so that no asexual has to live in fear of ridicule ever again. By purchasing this book you will gain a deeper understanding of this often misunderstood sexual orientation and help to spread awareness of asexuality at the same time. We may be small in numbers, but we can still make a huge difference to the world at large and celebrate our diversity.

Behind The Scenes Of What A Writer’s Life Is Really Like

This is the second part of my two-part Asexual Perspectives behind the scenes of my book video series. – What a writer’s life is really like!!

As you can see from this pile of manuscript, lots of sweat and tears went into this book!

I hope you enjoy reading the book and if you purchase a copy, here https://amzn.to/2wsO8Oi please leave and honest review!!

Stay ace

Sandra xx

ASEXUAL PERSPECTIVES BOOK: What is the hardest part of writing a book? BEHIND THE SCENES PART ONE.

ASEXUAL PERSPECTIVES BOOK

What is the hardest part of writing a book? BEHIND THE SCENES PART ONE. What is the hardest part of writing a book? Special Edition Video Series. In this video series I give you a behind the scenes look at what it is really like to be a writer and author. Part Two, in the next blog post, shows more of the making of the book and my daily routine.

UPDATE: This book is out now in both digital Kindle format as well as paperback here https://amzn.to/2wsO8Oi

Almost Done! Asexual Perspectives Book!

Next Asexual Perspectives story to be worked on.
Asexual Perspectives book final amendments.
Asexual Perspectives book manuscript almost complete.

Almost done! My Asexual Perspectives, Love, Life and Sex, ACElebration Of Asexual Diversity book is almost finished and ready for publication. I am just doing the final amendments.

This book is around 442 pages at 16pt font size, with 46 asexual interviewees from around globe and across the asexual spectrum, sharing their own personal story to help you. Offering their unique perspective and advice!

I have puposefully kept the style and tone very conversational and informal, like you are having a conversation with a friend. I have allowed both English and American spelling of words in this book to maintain authenticity with minimal editing and colloqiualisms. All of this makes it a ‘quirky book’.

I have a philosophy in life – “Throw away the rule book and create your own!” – Sandra Bellamy Quote

It will be up to you to YOU to decide if you agree with each perspective in the book or not! – Out soon! Watch this space for more details!

In the meantime – stay ace!

UPDATE: Asexual Perspectives is out now to buy in both digital Kindle format and Paperback https://amzn.to/2wsO8Oi

Happy New Year 2017! Happy Acemas T Shirt

New Year Celebration at my parent’s – wearing my ‘Frozen’ crown!
My furry kid daughter Angel with her ‘Baby’s First Christmas’ card.
My furry kid daughter Chestnut with her Daughter Christmas card.
At my parent’s home over Christmas. My mechanical musical Christmas Trees and Santas are on top of this piece of furniture.
The little Fiber Optic Christmas Tree at my parent’s
The Christmas Tree in my hallway in my home.
Happy New Year – the crown I am wearing is from the ‘Frozen’ movie.

Happy New Year 2017. I hope your Christmas was amazing and your new year is even better and ace.

I spent over 6 hours yesterday at my parent’s home, editing the final bits of my Asexual Perspectives book. The book is essentially written in full. I am just tidying up some bits before publishing. I still need to do the table of contents and reajust the formatting for Kindle, create a cover and then it’s all systems go! I hope to get it published by this Sunday 8th of January. The printed version, will come later by popular demand.

Until next time, have an acesome start to the year and always stay ace!

Looking for an Asexual Christmas T Shirt? Check out my Asexualise Happy Acemas T Shirt here https://amzn.to/2PUgkS5

Or go to my Redbubble shop here https://www.redbubble.com/people/asexualise/works/24369955-happy-acemas-asexual-asexualise-t-shirt-funny-ace-t-shirt-christmas-shirt-for-asexuals-christmas-gifts?asc=u&p=t-shirt

Be Your Own Best Friend!

Over Christmas it is important to look after you! Christmas can be a busy time with family and friends but you must remember to look after yourself too!

  • Buy yourself a Christmas gift – at least that way you know you are going to get something you like!
  • Write in a diary or journal your thoughts and feelings at the end of each day and celebrate your successes, however big or very small.
  • Take time to relax with a hot bath or shower, play some favourite music or watch a movie.
  • Connect with people who make you feel great and are going to help you to set important goals for 2017 and help you to achieve them.

If Christmas is a lonely time for you and you are feeling depressed, check out how you can avoid feeling this way in my free newsletter  http://eepurl.com/cuTRTj and don’t forget to subscribe!

I am still working hard to finish my Asexual Perspectives book to publish it asap. I am currently writing the final part of it. I will let you know when it has been published.

I have extended the Black Friday prices for the pre-January sale so you can still grab yourself a bargain!

Happy Christmas.

Sandra

Stay ace xx