ASEXUAL DATING – DON’T BE AFRAID TO BLOCK!! FACEBOOK BLOCKING

It is okay to block

In my vast asexual dating experience, and particularly in asexual dating groups on Facebook, there are so many people who get worried about Facebook blocking someone who is clearly from an outside point of view being emotional abusive, nasty, or hurtful.

They spend ages worried about what the other person will think, about if that person really is being horrible to them, about maybe they should just keep the relationship going, give them chance after chance and feeling like they have to continue the relationship for some reason, or worse, that if they don’t continue it something bad will happen to them, or they will be harassed forever, (due to emotional and mental blackmail by the other person).

They sometimes realise the person is being harmful and hurtful, but still continue the relationship. This can be because they have feelings for them, or they feel it is less hassle to, or they think that person may change and don’t want to lose that connection. I totally get this as I used to be that type of person, but I learnt in my life that how we are treated is how we allow ourself to be treated, so if we feel bad because someone’s actions and attitude is not nice, disrespectful, rude, or abusive, we need to remove ourself from that situation and free ourself, instead of wasting our time and allowing ourself to be abused. I also learnt that another person’s problems is not MY problem, and that it is okay to walk away out of self-respect, self-love and self-worth!

I hope you found that helpful? Would love to hear what you think?

Until next time, stay ace

Sandra xx

ACE 21ST MINDSET BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION! Disneyland Paris!

Disneyland Paris 25th Anniversary Birthday Special

 

Well today (24th of April), I get to be 21 again.

I am a huge believer in mindset being the key to success and happiness and that we get to choose:

  • Our mindset age.
  • The way we live our life.
  • Our own happiness.
  • And ultimately everything that comes from us.

For the past few years I have been getting younger in mindset and last year I decided to be 21 in mindset, and had my 21st mindset birthday in Disneyland Paris – which I so miss! I had a Toy Story decorated room which made me super excited! – The Wallpaper looked 3D in my opinion! What do you think?

I miss that place so much and really wished I could be back there again, it was at one with my soul and I felt totally at peace there. Lights, camera, action, noise – that makes me feel peaceful and incredibly happy. I like being different to everyone else and I enjoy noise and that type of environment. Actually it was very peaceful around the lake when walking back to my hotel on site at night. It was fabulous to be out at night and experiencing the reflection of the lights on the water and being able to walk on my own feeling very safe and happy, and that everyone there was singing from the same hymn sheet and just wanted to enjoy life and be happy and experience the magic, beauty, and wonder of it all.

If you missed my video last year of my highlights, here it is again!

For the previous two years prior to the last – so 2015/2016, I was 23 in mindset age, so I skipped a year, or rather I made a conscious decision to be 23 years for 2 years on the trot. I considered being 22 this year, but for now, I am very happy to stick with my 21st mindset that works so well for me. So I mostly get attracted to much younger guys in birth certificate age, in their 20s, and it’s really easy for me to get a sexual guy in his 20s to want a relationship with me, but an asexual guy in his 20s is harder, which I find quite ironic! I am really young in lifestyle and mindset and relate far better to younger guys. I really don’t believe I am the birth certificate age I am, I feel like it’s a joke, although I am super grateful for being born into this beautiful world.

And one of my blogging friends Ralph, who follows me on my www.quirkybooks.wordpress.com blog, has found a much younger true love and is going to be married soon, so there is hope for me to find my asexual true love, but right now I am happy being single and living life to the max, whatever happens!

If you have never seen my video from my Disneyland Paris 2014 trip of the elephant in the Rainforest Cafe, here it is

It’s the most popular video on my www.youtube.com/quirkybooksTV channel!

Until next time, stay ace!

Sandra xx

 

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Asexual Dating: What is an Asexual Womaniser? How to spot an Asexual Womaniser!

ace womaniser

Did you know asexual guys can be womanisers too?

Is this video I explain how to spot an asexual womaniser – the asexual guys who go around chatting up multiple women; who date multiple women and make them feel like they are the ‘one’ for them; and who may be in a relationship and trying to get into another one, despite saying they are monogamous. There are no doubt manisers too, as I am heteroromantic, I am speaking from own personal experience.

I hope you find this helpful?

Until next time, stay ace!

Sandra xx

Asexualise Asexual T Shirts For Romantic Asexuals – Check Them Out!

romantic shirts

I was requested by a member of one of my asexual dating groups to design a Asexualise Asexual T-Shirt with the Ace Of Hearts for romantic asexuals and this is what I came up with. I have already sold some of them. What do you think?

Asexualise Asexual T-Shirt Dazzling Ace Of Hearts Romantic Asexual T-Shirt. Asexualise Asexual T-Shirt is Tripple Ace Of Hearts T-Shirt!

You can also check out my shop on www.redbubble.com/people/asexualise

If you have got a request for a specific design that you want me to create, and it does not breach any copyright, then please let me know by email asexualise@gmail.com

If you are asexual and looking for a serious committed asexual relationship, without any sex ever, you can apply to be in my www.facebook.com/groups/acexualisedating group! You will be asked a set of questions that you need to answer to apply to get into the group and not everyone is accepted, but many are.

If you are asexual and fall on the more Grey Asexual/Demisexual end of the asexual spectrum, you can apply to be in my Grey Asexual and Demisexual dating group, again, you will also be asked a set of questions, and not everyone is accepted, but many are. https://www.facebook.com/groups/greyacexualdatinganddemiacexualdating

Both groups are closed group.

If you are sexual and not asexual (lack of sexual attraction), then sorry, these are not the dating groups for you, but I wish you a lot of love and happiness on your own life’s journey.

Until next time, stay ace

Sandra xx

Happy Easter – Have an Ace Time!

Easter bunny

I just wanted to wish you a Happy Easter and hope you have an ace time eating lots of cake!! (I mean Easter Egg – lol!) xx

These are what my mum gave me the money for and are completely allergy free for me. No added sugar, no wheat, no gluten, no yeast, no dairy, no MSG – all good! That’s why they are called the “Good Egg”.

Good Egg

10 Benefits Of Being Alone: 10 Reasons Why It Is Good To Be Alone!

I have noticed that a lot of asexuals feel alone and are lonely. I do understand this, especially as I am an extrovert asexual and like to get out and about and be around people about every 3 days.

I don’t usually feel lonely these days, but it can be isolating if I have not got out of my flat in a while! I like going out with friends and I am a social creature by nature, but I also have some introvert tendencies, in the sense that I enjoy my own company, like to switch off from the outside world now and then to explore and progress my creative pursuits and passions, and I also do a lot of solo work at home, building websites, writing blog posts, etc! Having said that, in-between doing my work, sometimes I will send an email reply to someone or reach out to someone via email, and I will often watch videos about my passions, which means I am still connected to people outside my home!

There are some huge benefits to being alone – I like to call it “being on my own and enjoying my own company”. The video above, has 10 reasons why it is good to be alone! Please watch it and let me know if you agree?

Until next time, stay ACE.

Sandra xx

What is it really like for an asexual who does not have sex? 20 benefits of no sex for an asexual!

What is it really like for an asexual who does not have sex?

I recently published this video about not missing out because I have had no sex since 2011, and I still say the same thing as I did in the video below, in 2015, that it feels fantastic – to not have sex!

These are some of the other benefits of no sex for me!

  1. No worries about getting pregnant.
  2. I don’t have to take the contraceptive pill that has side effects and can make you feel ill.
  3. No worries about STDs and no need to be tested for that.
  4. Less anxiety, worry, and stress, in general.
  5. No feeling raw and upset after sex.
  6. No getting bored from having sex with a guy who does no foreplay. (Foreplay is fine and can be enjoyable with the right person in a serious committed relationship, sex is boring with most guys, or really not worth it, or I would rather be doing something else.)
  7. Less chance of being with a guy who will pounce on me for sex.
  8. No expectations of sex means I can relax and chill more.
  9. No forcing myself to do something that does not feel good to me and I am not comfortable doing.
  10. A sense of relief that I don’t have to be something I am not.
  11. No having to please a partner in that way if I had one.
  12. No pain from doing that.
  13. I can relax around asexual guys.
  14. I can make lots of asexual friends as I am not focused on getting a sexual boyfriend and having to have sex.
  15. I can avoid getting into relationships with sexual guys that are no good for me.
  16. I have a chance of finding real and true love without sex.
  17. I can kiss without sex, which is far more pleasurable for me.
  18. I have more time to focus on my career and do other activities that are worthwhile and can be life transforming.
  19. It’s liberating to be free from something that goes against ones own soul and natural being/personality.
  20. I feel happier. I feel I am more me, and can live my life my way without being tied to convention.

As you can see from my list of 20 benefits of no sex for an asexual, there are a ton of reasons why I am so happy I don’t have sex. What’s yours?

Until next time, stay ace! Sandra xx

Asexual Perspectives Book – A Different Take On Asexuality!

ASEXUAL PERSPECTIVES BOOK

If you are still learning about asexuality or wanting to understand your orientation better, I wrote a non-fiction book to show you the difference across the asexual spectrum. This book is not full of text book definitions, but a different take on asexuality, of real life asexuals, revealing some very intimate aspects of their life to help you! http://amzn.to/2FT0nJO

•Learn the asexual perspectives of Aromantics; Heteroromantics; Homoromantics; Panromantics; Grey Aces; Demi-sexual; Biromantic; Agender; Transgender; Polyamorous and many more.

•Uncover Asexuals’ deepest fears, concerns and worries about being asexual.

•Find out possible reasons why, in general, society does not accept asexuality as a sexual orientation in its own right and what we can do about this to change the world!

•Discover what asexuals really believe are the differences between sexual attraction, sexual desire and arousal.

•Find out what asexuals really think of nudity; porn; masturbation; BDSM and kinks.

•Discover what it feels like to have sex as an asexual and how to cope with the sexualized world that we live in.

•Find out what asexuals think about living together, about marriage and about having kids.

•Discover what an ideal asexual relationship would look like and whether asexuals believe a relationship with a sexual would be fair or not.

•Uncover the positives about being asexual.

•Find out what advice asexuals would give to a younger version of themselves regarding asexuality and what advice they would give to others who are just discovering they may be asexual.

Here is what some people are saying about the book:

“Thank You for writing this book! It is so important to bring awareness about asexuality. Thank you for interviewing so many people and helping the world understand more what asexual people stuggle with and what our lives can be like.”

“Excellent introduction to asexuality, and a great help to asexuals as well as people looking to understand asexuality!”

“I have not finished this book yet, but so far, I have found it so interesting and I can’t put the book down. As an Asexual, it’s so nice to not only see a well written book written about this orientation, but reading real life stories of people like me makes me feel good, because I know I am not alone and there are people who experience the same things I do. No one is the same, but we can all relate one way or another. I HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone who is interested in this topic, overall, it’s a good read! Thank you so much for writing this and a big thank you to everyone who shared their story! Truly inspirational!”

“I found this to be an easy read. Very informative with aspects of all different spectrums of the Asexual community. Being new to this community by just months and still trying to understand where I fit I was able to read different interviews and pick up things I had in common with those people. Helping me realize the more intricate parts of being an asexual woman. It helped me let go of many things that have hounded me for a very long time. I’m “mature” and there was no such thing when I grew up as “Asexual”. Thank you Sandra for putting your heart into this work. I will go back and refer to parts of this book on my own journey.”

Shop here http://amzn.to/2FT0nJO

Why Do Some Asexuals Have Sex?

So why do some asexuals have sex? There are a variety of reasons why some asexuals may have sex. Some asexuals may have sex to please their partner or they may have sex because they like it as an activity to do, like a board game! Some asexuals may have had sex in the past but not any more, and some asexuals have never had sex and never will!

Asexuality is not defined by whether you have had sex or not, it is defined by whether you experience sexual attraction or not, so whether you get the need, urge, or want, for partnered sexual intercourse or not! I have had sex in the past, but would rather I did not. I thought I had to have sex as part of a relationship, despite never thinking I want to have sex with any guy, including past loves. When I found out I am asexual in 2014 and I discovered others who were too, it felt amazing, that for the first time in my life, I had hope that I could find asexual love, without sex! I have never associated sex with love and never will!

If you have any questions, please post them in the comments below!

Until next time, stay Ace.

Sandra xx

 

Asexual Masturbation, Solo Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Reciprocated Masturbation, Unreciprocated Masturbation

One of the questions I get asked quite a lot in PM, is “can I still be asexual if I masturbate?” The answer is yes. Some asexuals take part in solo masturbation, some mutually masturbate each other when in a relationship, and some want to masturbate their partner but not have it reciprocated, whilst others don’t want to masturbate their partner, but like to receive that! Of course there are asexuals who don’t like any form of masturbation! We are all different and that is ace!

Watch the video to discover more about Asexual Masturbation, Solo Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Reciprocated Masturbation, and Unreciprocated Masturbation.

Until next time, stay ace, Sandra xx