Happy ACEmas – Embrace the Moment, Play Full Out For December and Practice Self-Care

For some people Christmas is already over, for others it’s half way through (Happy ACEmas – Happy Christmas) and the festive celebrations continue and for others it’s never started – as they don ‘t celebrate it. Wherever you’re at, I hope you make the most of the final days left in December and play full out for it. Here’s why – watch the video below.

Read my AI Assistant’s summary of the key points in my video conversation below – I have checked and corrected its summary:

Don’t Let December Slip Away: Cherish the Present and Prioritise You

The festive season is a magical time, but it often speeds by in a blur of gift-giving, parties, and planning for the year ahead. Many of us are already looking towards January, setting new goals and leaving the current year behind. But what if we’re missing out on something precious by rushing? Sandra reminds us that the final days of December hold immense value. It’s a time to slow down, appreciate the here and now, and focus on ourselves before the next chapter begins.

The Art of Savouring the Present Moment

Christmas Day might be over for some, but the festive spirit and the remaining days of December are far from finished. Sandra emphasises the importance of embracing the present moment rather than constantly looking ahead. We often get caught up in the anticipation of what’s next, forgetting to appreciate the beauty of what’s unfolding right now. This mindset can lead us to miss out on valuable experiences and moments of joy.

Time is a precious commodity. Once it passes, it’s gone forever. It’s easy to fall into the trap of constantly planning for the future, especially after a challenging year. However, this can mean we’re not fully present to enjoy the current days. Sandra shares her own struggles with mental health, which can make focusing on the present difficult. Yet, the core of mindfulness is about appreciating where we are, right now, without getting lost in the past or future.

We are alive, and that is something to be cherished. In a world where circumstances can change in an instant, every moment is a gift. Sandra highlights that while we might wish for a new year, it’s essential to acknowledge the people we have with us now. Missing out on the present means missing opportunities to connect, to experience, and to simply be. The remaining days of December offer a chance to soak in the festive atmosphere, connect with loved ones, and practice gratitude.

Navigating a Challenging Year with Resilience

This past year, like many others, has presented its share of difficulties. Sandra openly shares her personal journey through significant trauma, including a serious spinal injury. Despite facing immense challenges, such as a prolonged recovery period, unexpected health setbacks, and the painful dissolution of close friendships, she emphasises the importance of resilience. These tough times, while painful, reveal our inner strength and capacity to overcome adversity.

Sandra recounts experiencing a year filled with hardships, from physical pain and ongoing medical battles to the emotional toll of ending relationships that no longer aligned with her values. The decision to let go of friendships, even those held for years, is a testament to her commitment to integrity and honesty. This process, while difficult, is a crucial step in personal growth and self-preservation.

Despite the struggles, Sandra highlights that these challenging experiences do not define her. Instead, they showcase her resilience and her ability to show up, day after day. It’s in overcoming these tough times that we learn our own strength. This realisation fuels the determination to face future challenges, knowing that we have the capacity to get through them, just as we have in the past.

The Power of Self-Dating and Self-Care

In the midst of festive preparations and reflections on the year past, prioritising self-care is paramount. Sandra introduces the concept of “self-dating” as a powerful tool for enhancing well-being. Self-dating isn’t about necessity; it’s about intentionally setting aside time for activities that bring joy and rejuvenation, treating yourself to a special experience that isn’t part of your daily routine.

This practice is akin to nurturing a relationship with yourself. It involves making deliberate choices to engage in activities that make you feel good, loved, and valued. Whether it’s a solo trip to the cinema, a quiet afternoon with a book, or simply enjoying a meal without distractions, self-dating reinforces self-worth and builds self-trust. It’s about showing up for yourself, just as you would for a cherished friend.

Investing in self-care and self-dating is an investment in your overall happiness and resilience. By consciously creating moments of joy and self-compassion, you build a stronger relationship with yourself. This internal validation is crucial, as external validation can be fleeting. Sandra stresses that this practice helps you to thrive, empowering you to navigate life’s ups and downs with greater strength and a more positive outlook.

Why Self-Dating Matters

  • Builds Self-Trust: Consistently showing up for yourself, even when tired or unmotivated, strengthens your belief in your own reliability.
  • Promotes Self-Esteem: Engaging in activities you enjoy and that nourish your soul naturally boosts how you feel about yourself.
  • Fosters Self-Compassion: It’s a tangible way to show yourself kindness, understanding, and the care you deserve.
  • Enhances Your Relationship with Yourself: Just like any relationship, the one you have with yourself needs nurturing to flourish.

Valuing Your Core Principles: Honesty and Integrity

As we reflect on the year and look towards the future, assessing the people and environments that surround us becomes increasingly important. Sandra shares her personal journey of re-evaluating her friendships, leading her to prioritise honesty and integrity above all else. This means recognising that not everyone aligns with our core values, and it’s okay to create distance when necessary.

Sandra explains that while others may not necessarily be “bad” people, a misalignment in values can create disharmony. For Sandra, honesty and integrity are non-negotiable. This led to difficult decisions, including ending friendships where these values were not upheld. It’s a powerful reminder that healthy relationships are built on mutual respect for core principles.

This commitment to personal values extends to how we interact with others and how we perceive their self-assessments. Sandra learned the hard way not to overly “help” individuals who consistently label themselves as “bad.” Instead, she now takes people at their word, recognising that it’s their journey to change, not hers to enable. This protects her own well-being and ensures she surrounds herself with those who uplift and respect her.

Embracing the “Full On Out” December

Despite the difficulties of the past year, Sandra encourages a “full on out” approach to enjoying the remaining days of December. Instead of rushing into the new year, she advocates for fully embracing the present festive season. This means continuing to enjoy the Christmas lights, the decorations, the music, and the company of loved ones.

There’s a tendency to quickly move past December once Christmas Day has passed. However, the festive spirit often extends beyond the 25th. Sandra highlights that many Christmas-themed activities and events continue into late December and even early January. It’s an opportunity to soak up the remaining joy and sparkle, rather than letting it go to waste.

This “full on out” approach also involves celebrating life itself. It’s about acknowledging our resilience, appreciating the good moments that did occur, and recognising that even tough times have taught us valuable lessons. Sandra reminds us that life is a celebration, and the present moment is where that celebration truly happens. By embracing the present, we honour our journey and foster a positive outlook for the future.

Making the Most of Your December Days

  • Continue Festive Celebrations: Don’t pack away the decorations or stop the Christmas music just yet. Enjoy the remaining holiday ambiance.
  • Attend Local Events: Many festive attractions and experiences remain open for a few more days. Take advantage of them.
  • Practice Gratitude: Reflect on the gifts you’ve received, both material and non-material, and appreciate the people still in your life.
  • Prioritise Self-Care: Use this time to recharge and focus on your well-being, especially by starting a self-dating practice.
  • Reflect and Plan (Gently): While enjoying the present, you can also use quieter moments for gentle reflection on what you’d like for the year ahead.

The Lasting Impact of Self-Love and Resilience

Sandra’s journey highlights a profound realisation: the most crucial relationship we have is with ourselves. In a world that can often feel uncertain, relying on external validation is a fragile foundation. Building resilience, self-trust, and self-worth from within is essential for navigating life’s complexities.

Sandra shares her evolution from prioritising romantic relationships to understanding the enduring importance of friendships. However, she ultimately concludes that the only true constant is oneself. This understanding underscores the need to nurture the relationship with yourself as fiercely as you would with anyone else.

This self-reliance isn’t about isolation; it’s about cultivating an inner strength that allows you to face challenges, even when external support is scarce. Sandra emphasises treating yourself with the same kindness, compassion, and understanding you would offer a best friend. This internal support system is vital for well-being, enabling you to thrive, no matter the circumstances.

Conclusion: Cherish Today, Thrive Tomorrow

As December winds down, it’s a critical time to pause and reflect. Rushing into the new year without appreciating the present can lead to missed opportunities for joy and connection. Sandra’s message is a powerful reminder to savour every moment, practice intentional self-care through self-dating, and honour your core values.

By embracing the present, acknowledging your resilience, and nurturing your relationship with yourself, you build a stronger foundation for whatever the future holds. The remaining days of this year offer a precious chance to play “full on out,” celebrating life and preparing for the next chapter with intention and self-compassion. Don’t let these moments slip away – they are the building blocks of a fulfilling life.

How I’m Playing Full Out This Christmas and Throughout December – In My Own Words

This year I made sure to enjoy my Christmas throughout December and play full out in it. In spite of having 3 broken bones in my spine – yes, you read that right – an MRI confirmed I have 3 broken bones in my spine since April last year, not 2 that showed up on the X-Ray.

I even carefully put my tree and decorations up for the first time ever, in November this year. It’s the first time I have not put all of my tinsel up – but I am happy to have decorated 2 large Christmas trees and put up enough Christmas stuff.

In case you didn’t already know, I attended the Women’s Business Awards in London on the 3rd of December and won 2nd Runner Up for Speaker of the Year – I was in a category along with 19 other people, so competition was very high. They said I worked very hard on my profile within Women’s Business Club – who run these awards.  You can check out my profile here if you’re curious https://womensbusiness.club/u/SandraBellamy

If you voted for me, thank you so, so much. I appreciate that so much.

I was absolutely thrilled to receive this award and you can hear the moment when they announced I won this, in the video here:

While I was in London I went to Shrek’s Adventure, which was all Christmassy here:

I also went to the Disney Store in London Oxford Street here

I also went to The Greatest Showman Come Alive Circus Spectacular show – here is a video from that show:

I still have more videos to post from that on my channel – I have a backlog of videos I haven’t yet posted on my channel about this, as I’ve been so very busy with getting ready for Christmas and doing more Christmassy things in my city, as seen in the videos below:

Here is a video of my city, Exeter, UK, at Christmas.

Here is a video of Exeter Cathedral Christmas Market I went to:

Here is a video of a live walk through I did of Winter Wonderland in Exeter on Christmas Eve:

 I also want to thank those of you who have watched, liked, commented, shared, or viewed my Asexualise channel as we’ve gone over 1.8 million organic views now and 149,000 of those occurred in the last 28 days. I can’t thank you enough for your love and support xx

Be sure to subscribe here if you’ve not already done so https://www.youtube.com/asexualisemyasexuallife

One of the gifts my mum got me for Christmas was some Christmas Pyjamas which unintentionally represent asexuality as they have ACE playing cards on them and ACE is the nickname for asexual. My mum didn’t realise this when she bought them for me, but it makes them extra special for me. See what they look like in the video below and stay ACE xx

10 Essential Tips for Maintaining Well-being as an Asexual Individual

Being asexual is a unique and valid sexual orientation but it can come with a lot of difficulties and challenges as you buck the norm of societal thinking and expectations. So it’s important to prioritise your well-being throughout your asexual journey, in order to feel good about yourself, your life, and your sexual orientation of asexuality.

In this blog article, I want to share and explore with you, 10 essential tips that can help you stay healthy, happy, and fulfilled, as an asexual individual. Whether you’ve recently discovered your asexuality or have been identifying as asexual for a while, these tips will provide guidance and support for maintaining your well-being. Sandra Bellamy - Self-care, 21st Mindset Birthday trip to Eurodisney

  1. Self-Acceptance:

Embrace your asexuality as a valid part of who you are. Recognise that your feelings and experiences are real and valid, and give yourself permission to fully accept and embrace your identity.

  1. Seek Community:

Connect with the asexual community, either online or in person, to find a supportive network of individuals who share similar experiences. Engaging with others who understand and validate your asexuality can provide a sense of belonging and support.

  1. Educate Yourself:

Take the time to educate yourself about asexuality and its various nuances. Learning about different asexual identities, experiences, and resources, can help you gain a deeper understanding of yourself and empower you to navigate discussions about asexuality with confidence. You can take my FREE Asexuality Basics For Beginners Course here https://asexualise-academy-courses.thinkific.com/courses/asexuality-basics-for-beginners-introduction-to-asexuality

  1. Communicate Your Needs:

Open and honest communication is key in any relationship. Express your boundaries, desires, and needs to your friends, family, and potential partners. It’s important for them to understand and respect your asexuality to maintain healthy relationships with you.

  1. Self-Care:

Prioritise self-care activities that promote your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Engage in activities that bring you joy, relaxation, and fulfilment. This might include hobbies, self-dating, mindfulness practices, exercise, or spending time with loved ones and friends. Asexual Sandra Disney Princess Look

  1. Seek Support:

If you’re facing challenges related to your asexuality, consider seeking professional support. A therapist or counsellor who is knowledgeable about asexuality can provide guidance, help you navigate personal struggles, and offer valuable insights. I offer coaching, and advice and support sessions, but I’m not a licensed therapist or counsellor. If you want my help, hit me up in the chat bubble.

  1. Set Boundaries:

Establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries is crucial for your well-being. Be clear about what you’re comfortable with and communicate your boundaries to others. Remember that it’s okay to say no and prioritise your own needs and comfort. This means it’s okay to say no to having any type of sex or being touched in any way you’re not comfortable with.

  1. Celebrate Your Identity:

Take pride in your asexual identity and celebrate it in ways that resonate with you. Participate in asexual visibility events, connect with online communities, or express yourself through art, writing, or other creative outlets. 

Asexual Sandra at Universal Studios Disneyland Paris

  1. Find Allies:

While it’s important to connect with the asexual community, it’s equally valuable to have supportive allies in your life. Allies are individuals who may not be asexual but understand, respect, and support your identity. Cultivate relationships with those who are accepting and willing to learn.

  1. Educate Others:

If you feel comfortable and empowered, advocate for asexuality and help raise awareness. Educate others about asexuality, challenge misconceptions, and promote understanding and acceptance. By sharing your experiences, you can contribute to a more inclusive society.

Staying well as an asexual individual involves self-acceptance, seeking community, educating yourself and others, setting boundaries, and prioritising your self-care. Remember, you deserve to live a fulfilling and authentic asexual life. By implementing these essential tips, you can enhance your well-being and embrace your asexual identity with confidence and pride.

Embrace your journey and know that you are not alone – a supportive community awaits you.

If you’re not a member of my YouTube community, click the video below now, and subscribe and hit the bell icon to join an empowered community of asexuals and allies, who support one another, and help you to keep feeling ACE! Plus, you get an opportunity to ask me any questions you like about asexuality, in live stream chat or comments. Join me and other like-minded individuals here https://www.youtube.com/live/orc-8mI0p-Q?feature=share 


As always, stay ACE.

Sandra xx

ASEXUAL BEAUTY AND PERSONAL CARE 10 Top Tips To BOOST Your Self-esteem And Feel Great!

Beauty and personal care

Asexual Beauty and Personal Care

In order to maintain your asexual beauty and personal care, it is important to not only get the right products, but to also take action to boost your self-esteem and feel great.

10 Top Tips To BOOST Your Self-esteem And Feel Great!

Look good and feel great by taking care of the most important person in your life, YOU!

Whether it’s pampering yourself from head to toe, or taking a simple bubble bath, the most important person to take care of is you! Because once you feel good on the inside, it will be clearly visible on the outside!

It is so important to boost your self-esteem whenever possible, and there are many ways you can do this with taking ultra good care of your personal health and beauty being one of them! You can also:

Hobbies

1) Do hobbies that make you feel great!

Get Creative

2) Be creative. Creativity boosts your energy levels and makes you feel good.

Water Wellness

3) Drink plenty of water, keeping hydrated is essential to your health and wellbeing and can make you feel more alert and energetic.

Endorphin Hit!

4) Exercise whenever possible, every little bit helps to release endorphins, which is those feel good chemicals!

5) Laughing also releases endorphins – so make sure you do as much to make yourself laugh as possible and try to get friends who you feel comfortable around, who you can be yourself with, and who make you laugh too!

Exercise Your Brain!

6) Physical exercise is important, but exercising your brain is equally, if not more important, as once the brain goes dead you feel dead inside, whilst still very much being alive, so take personal and professional development courses, read books, watch educational programmes and YouTube videos that will grow you as a person!

7) Indulge your senses whenever possible; sight, smell, taste and touch. Get out into fresh air or eat some lovely smelling food, which also tastes good, and if meeting up with friends in person, give them a hug to greet them and say goodbye!

Find Your Tribe!

8) Join both online and offline groups to make friends and spend time with those friends. See them in person or on video chat.

9) Spend time with people who really understand you and who you can relate to! Many of our problems stem from being around others who are not like ourself and who don’t understand us. If you have prolonged exposure to these types of people, it can be very destructive for your personal wellbeing as you can feel there is something wrong with you when there isn’t and you are constantly looking to fix you, when instead you just need to fix your situation, by removing these people from your life, or spending less time with them! You need to find your tribe, those who understand you and who want to be around you and spend time with you, because they love and like you for who you are.

Make Change Happen For You Not To You!

10) Trying something new, can be a bit scary at first, but it is good to push yourself out of your comfort zone as much as possible, otherwise your life stagnates and you can become bored with it, without realising. Plus your brain needs stimulation, even if you don’t like change, you should make change happen for you, rather than to you, therefore it is not so scary and you can make good progress with your life!

I hope these personal care 10 top tips to boost your self-esteem have helped you to feel great on the inside, so then you will radiate more beauty on the outside! Because YOU are worth it! Believe it!

 

Show off your beautiful asexuality with amazing Beauty and Personal care asexual products right here on Asexualise.com

 

Be Your Own Best Friend!

Over Christmas it is important to look after you! Christmas can be a busy time with family and friends but you must remember to look after yourself too!

  • Buy yourself a Christmas gift – at least that way you know you are going to get something you like!
  • Write in a diary or journal your thoughts and feelings at the end of each day and celebrate your successes, however big or very small.
  • Take time to relax with a hot bath or shower, play some favourite music or watch a movie.
  • Connect with people who make you feel great and are going to help you to set important goals for 2017 and help you to achieve them.

If Christmas is a lonely time for you and you are feeling depressed, check out how you can avoid feeling this way in my free newsletter  http://eepurl.com/cuTRTj and don’t forget to subscribe!

I am still working hard to finish my Asexual Perspectives book to publish it asap. I am currently writing the final part of it. I will let you know when it has been published.

I have extended the Black Friday prices for the pre-January sale so you can still grab yourself a bargain!

Happy Christmas.

Sandra

Stay ace xx