Loved speaking at Oxford University, as The Asexual Entrepreneur, on October 23rd 2023, for bLU Talks, about How To Reinvent Yourself To Become Your Best Future Self.
Watch the behind-the-scenes bLU Talks UK at Oxford University videos below:
The moment I knew…
Say no… because we’re here to live our life…
The below video is a reel of best bits from my Oxford trip:
Watch the full playlist below, including this ACE asexual introduction:
My talk was based on my chapter in the new bLU Talks book, of Business Life and The Universe, Vol 11, with James Redfield – Bestselling Author of The Celestine Prophecy, and Ken Honda – from MindValley, who is also the Author of Happy Money, as well as Corey Poirier is That Speaker Guy, Multiple-Time TEDx Speaker, bLU Talks Founder, Co-Author of the Wall Street Journal / USA Today Bestseller, Quitless, Featured in and/or seen on: NBC, ABC, Fox, TEDx, Entrepreneur on Fire, Entrepreneur Magazine, Forbes, Second City, The CW and CBS…
It’s been my dream since starting my www.quirkybooks.wordpress.com blog in 2010, way before I started helping asexuals in 2015, to have my own book publishing imprint called Quirky Books and to be a best selling author – I’m pleased to say I’ve now achieved both. But the fact I’ve done it while helping asexuals, puts the icing firmly on the cake and makes it the cherry on the top. Combining my two greatest life passions, writing non-fiction books that change live from pain to gain and helping asexuals – feels incredibly amazing and euphoric.
I honestly believe I was put on this earth this time around (I think I’ve been here before in a past life) to help asexuals. I believe God/Universe put me here to help asexuals with love, life, confidence, dating and relationships, so you can truly ACE your life, and to fulfil my life mission – of getting asexuality recognised as a sexual orientation in its own right throughout the globe, so no asexual has to live in fear of ridicule ever again. Whilever I’m alive I will try my utmost to achieve this, and my books will live on long after I’ve gone – as my lasting legacy to still help save and change lives for future generations to come.
On 08/08/2023 – Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Love, Life, and Sex, ACElebration of Asexual Diversity book hit the Best Seller list in Human Sexuality – #51. This was an incredible achievement, not just for me personally in terms of achieving my dream, but because it was in a highly competitive category to be a best seller in, as most books in it, are traditional-style sex books, so it’s a huge achievement for an asexual book, and therefore asexuality – which is a sexual orientation based on the lack of sexual attraction – in case you’re not asexual, never heard of asexuality before, or confused.
It took me 7 years to become a registered publisher in the UK under Quirky Books. Which I achieved in 2017, and it was a dream come true for me.
And now it’s taken 6 years for Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, under that imprint, to become a best seller – as I published that in 2017 and now it’s 2023. So 6 years later I got my dream.
Yesterday I was updating my social media – and I shared this achievement on my LinkedIn profile…
And my friend saw it and posted this lovely post and kind words on LinkedIn about my Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories book – they recommended it as a #MustRead
It’s lovely when someone understands the true purpose and meaning behind your literacy work.
Get your copy here https://amzn.to/44j4rdq
I’m so thankful to have achieved all these dreams both for me and asexuals / asexuality.
What’s next for me and asexuality???
On 23rd October 2023, I’m going to be speaking live at Oxford University for bLU Talks and I’ve already been given a lot of prep I need to do for that. I’m co-authoring a bLU Talks books, the Foreword of which is by Ken Honda from Mind Valley, and I just revised the edits of my chapter a couple of days ago for that. Both of these are inclusive of asexuality. I will be using the chapter I wrote for that book, as my foundation for my Oxford talk, that is called 9 Steps To Reinvent Yourself To Become Your Future Self. It describes how I went from being a deeply lonely, shy, and introverted girl as a child, who was scared to be on social media in 2011 and was shy to talk about sex prior to finding out I’m asexual in 2014 – to what I do now, which is helping asexuals through my www.youtube.com/asexualisemyasexuallife channel since 2015, being publicly open about being asexual and about my asexual life – all over social media, and able to talk about sex and masturbation as easily as drinking water. I describe the transformational journey I went on, to become the extroverted, loud, bubbly, talkative person I am today. Without which, I would not be able to give a voice to asexuals and help them. Although my talk is going to be based on my chapter concept in the bLU Talks book – it doesn’t have to be and I can talk about whatever I want – so long as it helps the bLU Talks audience, that is mostly made up of entrepreneurs, creatives, and spiritual people. In case you were wondering, bLU stands for business, life and universe, so the talk needs to be relevant to any of those topics areas and suitable for their audience. They spell bLU with a lower case b for their branding – in case you thought it should be capitalised.
I also have a virtual stage talk I will be doing for bLU Talks in the future and I’ve completed the first stage of an initial application to a TedX UK event next year, to do a talk about asexuality – the organiser will have a Zoom call with me in January / February 2024, to explain how the process works from that initial application.
So I still have lots to achieve… and tons more to do.
Plus, I’m still finishing the final edits of my Asexual Guide To Sex book – a book I’ve been working on for over 4 years now.
AND…. All of this goes towards achieving my life mission of getting asexuality recognised as a sexual orientation in its own right throughout the globe, so no asexual has to live in fear of ridicule ever again.
I’ve also been given 2 High Five rewards #youtubehighfive by YouTube for my original channel https://www.youtube.com/quirkybooksTV which only has 172 subs as that was my first channel which also goes with my Quirky Books blog and my book publishing imprint, although it’s no longer my main channel, as my Asexualise My Asexual Life channel is, so I haven’t paid much attention to it until I got my first reward – it feels amazing that my hard work is finally being recognised by YouTube, and I’ve been interviewed on top rated podcasts talking about asexuality – more on that in later articles when those interviews go live.
I got 2 cinema codes from YouTube for FREE VUE cinema tickets. One I used to see Gran Turismo – amazing movie, which I did a movie review of on my Asexualise channel – see the video below, and the second one I will be redeeming before 2nd Of September.
Feels good to have been making so much progress this year, especially for asexuals and asexuality – as well as my Quirky Books / writing.
And you can still grab a copy of my autobiographical superhero-style Fibromyalgia Self-Help Handbook for half price (50% OFF) on Kindle OR £3.00 OFF the paperback here https://amzn.to/3YMKHhj until midnight UK time, on 31st August 2023. So grab a copy of that at the same time, if you want to reduce pain in 25 aspects of your life, have more energy and be happier – most of the methods I teach in this book for managing fibromyalgia (anxiety and depression) can help you even if you don’t have fibro, as they are transferable skills.
Whether you decide to buy the books or not, thanks for your continued support – I appreciate it so much xx
Listen to my talk about asexuality on bLU Talks by clicking through the link below, My talk starts at 2:14:32.
On Friday 23rd June 2023, I had the pleasure of being a guest on bLU Talks Amplify Your Message, talking about asexuality, what it is, and dispelling the myth that asexuality is a choice – it’s not.
I share my own asexual life journey and about my specific asexuality mission; I explain how some asexuals actually feel left out of the LGBT+ community because others there who aren’t asexual, still experience sexual attraction, whereas asexuality is base on a lack of sexual attraction, and so it’s important to get it recognised as a sexual orientation in it’s own right globally too.
I explain how asexuality has literally transformed my life for the better, forever.
Being asexual is a unique and valid sexual orientation but it can come with a lot of difficulties and challenges as you buck the norm of societal thinking and expectations. So it’s important to prioritise your well-being throughout your asexual journey, in order to feel good about yourself, your life, and your sexual orientation of asexuality.
In this blog article, I want to share and explore with you, 10 essential tips that can help you stay healthy, happy, and fulfilled, as an asexual individual. Whether you’ve recently discovered your asexuality or have been identifying as asexual for a while, these tips will provide guidance and support for maintaining your well-being.
Self-Acceptance:
Embrace your asexuality as a valid part of who you are. Recognise that your feelings and experiences are real and valid, and give yourself permission to fully accept and embrace your identity.
Seek Community:
Connect with the asexual community, either online or in person, to find a supportive network of individuals who share similar experiences. Engaging with others who understand and validate your asexuality can provide a sense of belonging and support.
Open and honest communication is key in any relationship. Express your boundaries, desires, and needs to your friends, family, and potential partners. It’s important for them to understand and respect your asexuality to maintain healthy relationships with you.
Self-Care:
Prioritise self-care activities that promote your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Engage in activities that bring you joy, relaxation, and fulfilment. This might include hobbies, self-dating, mindfulness practices, exercise, or spending time with loved ones and friends.
Seek Support:
If you’re facing challenges related to your asexuality, consider seeking professional support. A therapist or counsellor who is knowledgeable about asexuality can provide guidance, help you navigate personal struggles, and offer valuable insights. I offer coaching, and advice and support sessions, but I’m not a licensed therapist or counsellor. If you want my help, hit me up in the chat bubble.
Set Boundaries:
Establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries is crucial for your well-being. Be clear about what you’re comfortable with and communicate your boundaries to others. Remember that it’s okay to say no and prioritise your own needs and comfort. This means it’s okay to say no to having any type of sex or being touched in any way you’re not comfortable with.
Celebrate Your Identity:
Take pride in your asexual identity and celebrate it in ways that resonate with you. Participate in asexual visibility events, connect with online communities, or express yourself through art, writing, or other creative outlets.
Find Allies:
While it’s important to connect with the asexual community, it’s equally valuable to have supportive allies in your life. Allies are individuals who may not be asexual but understand, respect, and support your identity. Cultivate relationships with those who are accepting and willing to learn.
Educate Others:
If you feel comfortable and empowered, advocate for asexuality and help raise awareness. Educate others about asexuality, challenge misconceptions, and promote understanding and acceptance. By sharing your experiences, you can contribute to a more inclusive society.
Staying well as an asexual individual involves self-acceptance, seeking community, educating yourself and others, setting boundaries, and prioritising your self-care. Remember, you deserve to live a fulfilling and authentic asexual life. By implementing these essential tips, you can enhance your well-being and embrace your asexual identity with confidence and pride.
Embrace your journey and know that you are not alone – a supportive community awaits you.
If you’re not a member of my YouTube community, click the video below now, and subscribe and hit the bell icon to join an empowered community of asexuals and allies, who support one another, and help you to keep feeling ACE! Plus, you get an opportunity to ask me any questions you like about asexuality, in live stream chat or comments. Join me and other like-minded individuals here https://www.youtube.com/live/orc-8mI0p-Q?feature=share
Have you’ve ever wondered what does it mean to be asexual? How do I know if I’m asexual? How can I tell if I’m asexual? What is asexuality? And what is the asexual spectrum?
If the answer is yes to any of these questions, you’ve come to the right place.
Please watch this video below, which I created especially for you to explain more in-depth about what does it mean to be asexual.
This video also explains the asexual spectrum in a way which you should find easy to understand and be able to relate to in some way, including the Aro Ace spectrum within it.
To give you a starting point of what is means to be asexual and aromantic, you can read these Asexual Flag quotes below, but please watch the video above, for a more in-depth picture of what it truly means to be asexual and part of the asexual spectrum.
Watch the video below for the full explanation of what does it mean to be asexual and what is the asexual spectrum.
Have you every wondered what it’s like to hang out with asexual friends in person and what asexuals get up to with all the sex they’re not having? If so, you’re going to love this post.
Yes, not every asexual is sex repulsed, some asexuals do have sex, but for those of us who don’t, you might want to know what fun, non-sexual activities we get up to.
So in this post, I’m going to share with you, what I got up to with my bestest asexual friend Sammie for their 40th birthday and my close asexual friend Vanessa who is 21.
Both of these people are important to me and I am very thankful and grateful for them in my life.
Me and Sammie have known each other since 2017 and became best friends upon the first time of meeting in 2018, and Vanessa I met at an asexual meetup this year in my city, which I orgnanised. After my best friend Andy was too sick to meet up with me for my birthday in April, Vanessa came with me to the Aquarium for it, and I instantly got on really well with her and we became good friends and have since become even better friends, the more we have got to know each other. Because I reprogrammed my mind to be like 21 years old and I live like a teenager on purpose, I like going to a lot of the same places as Vanessa and as Sammie is really young too – they look like they are in their 20s, we like doing enjoyable, young, fun, things together too.
So on 28th October, for Sammie’s 40th Birthday:
* We went to a cafe in the morning.
* Then to a pub for a drink and gift giving (see photos).
* Then we ate in Nandos.
* Then we went to War Of The Worlds Immersive Experience, which was scary and fun. (See photo.)
* After that we drank in the bar and Sammie had a birthday cocktail (see photos below).
* We ate after then in East Street Thai Restaurant 😋
* It was an ACE day.
* And even more ACE as we are both asexual in sexual orientation. We are both sex repulsed and naked repulsed. And it was Asexual Awareness Week. Watch the video
On 30th October, I went to Vanessa to Brean theme park, rode some amazing rides and enjoyed eating delicious foods. Check out these photos.
Watch these videos to see more of Sammie’s 40th Birthday.
Watch these videos to see more behind the scenes footage of Brean Theme Park.
I really loved spending time with my asexual best and close friends for Asexual Awareness Week #aceweek2022 and having a lot of non-sexual asexual fun together. Which proves you can live a very happy life without sex, full of excitement and enjoyment. My life is never boring.
I was interviewed by Catana @TransformationalArtWithCatana about how Asexuality completely transformed my life! “I love kissing but not sex.”
It all started in 2014, when I went to see a counsellor, because I was worried that I wanted a relationship and liked kissing and romance, but I didn’t like sex, and she told me, “I’m worried about you, because if you want a good guy, you will need to have sex to keep him.”
I was absolutely horrified!
This was the worst thing I could have been told…
I thought to myself, how can any guy be good for me, if they want me to do something to me, that I don’t want to do?
To me, that’s like giving a guy a license to rape me – and that’s not happening.
It meant she was telling me I can’t get love without sex, and that my only value and worth of being in a relationship with a “good” guy, is based on if I have sex with him or not!
Not only is this sending a very dangerous message to me and anyone who is counselled by her…
… it’s the equivalent of saying that anyone who doesn’t have sex, cannot get a “good” guy, so they can’t have a “good” relationship, and aren’t worthy of love.
So what happens to all the people who are not asexual, but who can’t have sex because their disability or special needs, makes it impossible to do that and too painful???
What happens to all the impotent people in the world who can’t have sex???
Do these people also, not deserved to be loved without sex?
Do the they just end up with “bad” guys, because having sex, somehow changes a bad guy into a good guy???
I don’t think so. If they are a bad guy, having sex with them is not going to make them good.
What a load of bullshit.
And if people measure how much they are loved in a relationship by the amount of sex they are or are not having, they are valuing their own worth on how much contact they have with another person’s genitals, which they can’t control, – so there’s no wonder there are high divorced rates, broken relationships, and people feeling unloved and worthless.
So I went back home and Googled “I love kissing but not sex” and this is what happened next…
Listen closely to this until the end, and I am sure you will see how being asexual can be the best thing you ever discover about yourself, and create so many amazing life transformations, to truly enhance and empower your asexual life xx
As asexuality is a sexual orientation largely based on a lack of sexual attraction, it can be hard to make our own voice heard.
Especially as sexual stereotypes and societal conditioning tell everyone that it’s natural to like, want, and need sex, and that anyone who says otherwise must be lying or have something wrong with them.
People tend to discard what they don’t understand.
They tend to disregard what is considered as “not” normal.
And they tend to feel extremely uncomfortable when something doesn’t fit in with their ideology.
But I encourage you to always stand proud of who you are, and to stop listening to what other people say, that drowns out the sound of your own voice.
Asexuals have as much right to speak out about how they think and feel, including if they don’t like, want, or need sex, and have the right to be taken seriously.
Just because asexuality is a minority sexuality, it doesn’t mean it’s wrong and not normal.
It’s normal for SOME people to not like, want, need, or get the urge for, partnered sexual intercourse, ever.
Don’t let anyone blind you into believing we are all the same – because we are not.
There ARE people who never want sex, and that’s okay.
The only reason most people don’t speak out, is because other’s ridicule them and tell you, you can’t be who you are born to be.
I am here to show you, you can.
That your life is your own and that speaking up, in your own voice, is essential to live your own life dreams and no one else’s. Regardless of your sexuality.
That’s why I’m thrilled to be able to give a voice to the voiceless, and share my own asexual life journey of how I became known as The Asexual Entrepreneur and explain what it feels like to be asexual in this highly sexualised world, and how to live your asexual dreams and be your true authentic self, no matter what, on the Dreams ARE Real podcast.
Don’t miss this ACE episode by listening through either of the links below, now, and tell me what you think…
I thought that I would do a review of a book written by Sandra Bellamy regarding asexuality. She has written a few books (I’ll likely review others) and is currently writing another as I write this, which should hopefully be available soon. The book I shall discuss today is “Asexual Perspectives, 47 Asexual Stories” with […]
In broad terms, asexuality is a sexual orientation that is based on the lack of sexual attraction. This means we don’t get the need, urge, or want, for partnered sexual intercourse.
Sexual attraction = being sexually attracted towards a specific person/people.
Sexual desire = desiring the sex itself.
Arousal = a feeling in your genitalia.
Asexuality is also a spectrum, ranging from those who experience zero sexual attraction, known as a “pure” asexual, to those do experience sexual attraction, only under limited, rare, or specific circumstances, or who experience it, but not enough to want to act on it – known as a “grey” asexual.
Some asexuals are sex repulsed and will never have sex and hate it, others are sex neutral and don’t care whether they have sex or not. Others are sex positive and will/do have sex.
Some asexuals hate porn and will never watch it.
Other asexuals do watch porn.
Some asexuals masturbate.
Others asexuals feel sick at the idea of masturbation and it makes them want to throw up – just like some sex repulsed asexuals want to throw up when they hear the word sex.
Some asexuals are into BDSM – even without sex.
Other asexuals can’t stand BDSM and they want to run mile even hearing those words.
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and as always, stay ACE xx
