I was so happy to receive these kind words “You have an intuitive way of when to listen and when to speak” – from Dr Alan Simberg, who is my first interviewee on my www.youtube.com/@makemoneymakecash channel – where I’m known as The Asexual Entrepreneur.
You can listen to what he has to say, in full, in this short video testimonial below, that is just a little over a minute long.
Dr Alan Simberg gave me this glowing feedback after I interviewed him about how to make money as a therapist and how to turn a passion into a profession. He is a really lovely therapist, as well as an author and speaker.
He gives huge insights into how to live your best life both personally and professionally, and has some useful advice on how to master our emotions by looking at things in a more non-personal way, so we can be happier.
I resonated a lot with what he had to say.
In the interview you are about to watch below, Dr Alan Simberg reveals his personal story of how he overcame a fear of public speaking and how he got to where he is today, despite being put down about his capabilities and people thinking he wouldn’t amount to much.
He is a really lovely person and I was so happy to be able to interview him.
To tell you a bit about his professional background, Dr Alan Simberg, Ph.D. is certified in Applied Clinical Nutrition and is also a certified NET (Neuro Emotional Technique) practitioner. He’s a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Chemical Dependency Counselor and has 50 plus years of clinical experience, which have provided him with a wealth of knowledge and understanding, making this video a must watch.
(Trigger warning if you get affected by listening to the views of a therapist which may be different to your own therapist’s views.)
Have you’ve ever wondered what does it mean to be asexual? How do I know if I’m asexual? How can I tell if I’m asexual? What is asexuality? And what is the asexual spectrum?
If the answer is yes to any of these questions, you’ve come to the right place.
Please watch this video below, which I created especially for you to explain more in-depth about what does it mean to be asexual.
This video also explains the asexual spectrum in a way which you should find easy to understand and be able to relate to in some way, including the Aro Ace spectrum within it.
To give you a starting point of what is means to be asexual and aromantic, you can read these Asexual Flag quotes below, but please watch the video above, for a more in-depth picture of what it truly means to be asexual and part of the asexual spectrum.
Watch the video below for the full explanation of what does it mean to be asexual and what is the asexual spectrum.
It’s been over 7 years now, since I first started my Asexualise My Asexual Life Channel and boy how this channel has grown in viewership over the years – over 433,000 views and counting.
But I still feel there is so much more I can do.
When I originally started this channel in October 2015 to help other asexuals, I was kinda nervous and felt strange talking about intimate topics with strangers. Now it’s like being in a comfy arm chair, among a community of like-minded souls. I feel like it’s my hangout, where I get to inform, educate, entertain, and literally share multiple aspects of my own asexual life journey, and experience, to truly ace your own life, in terms of dating, relationships, friendships, and help to grow you in self-love, confidence, and self-esteem.
You see I also shared something else when I got started out, and that was why I started the channel – to raise awareness of asexuality, to help asexuals be comfortable and confident with their asexuality, and to educate others. And I spoke about how I can help raise awareness of asexuality on a more global scale, as I’m also in the entrepreneur space since 2012, and if I can get entrepreneurs who are the thought leaders of the world, and who are often the people with the loudest voices in the world, to know about asexuality and accept it, then it’s going to mean I can fulfil my life mission; of getting asexuality recognised as a sexual orientation throughout the globe, in it’s own right, so no asexual has to live in fear ever again.
With that in mind, I created another channel, but this one is for entrepreneurs, authors, and creatives, called Make Money Make Cash, and I recently started asking other entrepreneurs and authors to be interviewed by me, so they can explain how they make money doing what they love, so you can do the same.
On that channel I’m known as The Asexual Entrepreneur to help raise more awareness of asexuality on a global scale and I would really appreciate your support.
Here is that channel https://www.youtube.com/@makemoneymakecash and I would love to get your support by asking you to subscribe to it please? If you feel it may be at all of any interest.
I’m still editing my first interview with a fascinating person, who is an entrepreneur and author, and a licensed therapist who specialises in helping people with their relationships and addictions. He knew he wanted to help people since he was 7 or 8 years old and has some fascinating stories to share. But in the meantime there are plenty of videos on that channel about how to sell your pre-loved items for quick cash, such as on eBay, Facebook Marketplace and Vinted. Plus, if you like to write like I do, there are tips and insights into book publishing with Amazon and what mistakes to avoid. So if any of this resonates with you or interests you, or you would just like to support me in raising more awareness of asexuality, you can get started by subscribing here https://www.youtube.com/@makemoneymakecash
I still need more subs to get that channel to 100 so I can get the personalised URL on that one, and help raise more awareness of asexuality as The Asexual Entrepreneur. II did recently acquire the YouTube handle for it, which I am super happy about.
I will be publishing my first interview on there shortly, so it would mean the world to me to get that channel to 100 subs before it goes live to the world.
I think you will also find that channel very insightful. Would you be able to subscribe please? I would really appreciate it.
Have you every wondered what it’s like to hang out with asexual friends in person and what asexuals get up to with all the sex they’re not having? If so, you’re going to love this post.
Yes, not every asexual is sex repulsed, some asexuals do have sex, but for those of us who don’t, you might want to know what fun, non-sexual activities we get up to.
So in this post, I’m going to share with you, what I got up to with my bestest asexual friend Sammie for their 40th birthday and my close asexual friend Vanessa who is 21.
Both of these people are important to me and I am very thankful and grateful for them in my life.
Me and Sammie have known each other since 2017 and became best friends upon the first time of meeting in 2018, and Vanessa I met at an asexual meetup this year in my city, which I orgnanised. After my best friend Andy was too sick to meet up with me for my birthday in April, Vanessa came with me to the Aquarium for it, and I instantly got on really well with her and we became good friends and have since become even better friends, the more we have got to know each other. Because I reprogrammed my mind to be like 21 years old and I live like a teenager on purpose, I like going to a lot of the same places as Vanessa and as Sammie is really young too – they look like they are in their 20s, we like doing enjoyable, young, fun, things together too.
So on 28th October, for Sammie’s 40th Birthday:
* We went to a cafe in the morning.
* Then to a pub for a drink and gift giving (see photos).
* Then we ate in Nandos.
* Then we went to War Of The Worlds Immersive Experience, which was scary and fun. (See photo.)
* After that we drank in the bar and Sammie had a birthday cocktail (see photos below).
* We ate after then in East Street Thai Restaurant 😋
* It was an ACE day.
* And even more ACE as we are both asexual in sexual orientation. We are both sex repulsed and naked repulsed. And it was Asexual Awareness Week. Watch the video
On 30th October, I went to Vanessa to Brean theme park, rode some amazing rides and enjoyed eating delicious foods. Check out these photos.
Watch these videos to see more of Sammie’s 40th Birthday.
Watch these videos to see more behind the scenes footage of Brean Theme Park.
I really loved spending time with my asexual best and close friends for Asexual Awareness Week #aceweek2022 and having a lot of non-sexual asexual fun together. Which proves you can live a very happy life without sex, full of excitement and enjoyment. My life is never boring.
LESS THAN 7 HOURS TO GO – enter here https://rfr.bz/M4od4c9 Are you an Asexual Writer? An Asexual Podcaster? An Asexual Creative? Or an asexual who is into personal development and self development?
Are you an asexual writer who struggles to get book sales, to grow your YouTube channel or podcast?
Or are you an asexual who gets fed up and bored with life and you think there must be more to it and you want to have new experiences and learn some new skills?
If you answered yes to any of the above, then you’ve come to the right place.
If you’re unfamiliar with me and this blog, I’m asexual in sexual orientation and I’m known as the Asexual Entrepreneur.
I’ve been a published Author since 2015, and I specialise in books for asexuals and asexuality since 2017.
I was also a speaker at the UK Asexuality conference in London, in 2018.
I love learning, developing and growing myself into the best version of me and I started to study personal and professional development in 2012, which was when I went to my first ever business seminar in London. It was only then, did I begin my self love journey.
Prior to that time I had suffered with depression, I didn’t like myself or my life.
It was only when I went to that first business seminar, that I began to value myself and my own worth. I realised all the skills, experience, and knowledge I had learnt over the years, that I could use to help others and enrich their lives.
That was the start of my self love journey and my entrepreneur journey. I realised the entrepreneur journey wasn’t easy, and if people did that journey just for money, it would be short lived. I realised the entrepreneur life was one which was truly life transforming, as it required me to get out of my comfort zone, stretch me, and give me purpose and meaning in life, when I had none before.
I feel in part, that I owe my life to entrepreneurship, because it’s not about the money, but about the journey and the person you become in obtaining things you never felt possible before. It’s the journey that truly changes your life.
So I want to be able to help you to truly transform your own life if you’re not happy with it, if you feel stuck, depressed, insignificant – because you are NOT insignificant, you matter and you matter a lot.
That’s why I do this blog, and it’s why I would love for you to win one of these VIP tickets to this Bootcamp, because I believe it will be a truly transformational life experience like no other (I went to the last one and it was mind-glowingly good) and there is still time to get your entry in.
As this is a competition that’s been launched with less than 48 hours to enter, it means there is less entrants than if it had run for a week, so there is more chance of you winning, and you get 2 chances of winning as there are 2 VIP tickets up for grabs, which are free for you if you win one of them (value is CA $145).
So don’t delay, enter now, as the competition closes tonight, Tuesday 11th of October, at 11.59pm BST (GMT + 1). Go here to enter https://rfr.bz/M4od4c9 you can enter with name and email, or enter via Facebook.
All VIP ticket holders get full access to the replays for free in a private members area after the event, so if you can’t attend all 3 days of the Bootcamp this weekend, Fri 14th – Sun 16th of October, you can watch them afterwards, no problem.
I’m attending all 3 days of this Bootcamp, I marked out time on my calendar for it ages ago when I bought my ticket (I got 2 for the price of 1 tickets on an early bird deal – hence why in effect I bought one of the VIP tickets for you.) But I paid for mine, I didn’t get it for free. Because I still think it’s worth paying for, that’s how fabulous the last one was, and I paid double the price I paid for the first one.
Watch the video below if you want to see everything that’s included in the Bootcamp, and enter the competition here https://rfr.bz/M4od4c9
The more you share the Bootcamp with a link you get when you enter, the more points you receive, and the higher number of points you get the more chances you have of winning.
Just imagine one of these VIP tickets could be yours. Enter now here https://rfr.bz/M4od4c9 with less than 7 hours to go, I wouldn’t overthink it, I would just do it, because you have nothing to lose and a whole lot to gain.
* More happiness.
* More fulfillment.
* More joy.
* More abundance.
* Increase your life skills.
* Increase you business skills which are transferable.
* Make new connections you can just vibe with.
* Gain new potential partnerships.
* Be around like minded people who lift you up and validate your value.
Or at least that is how the last Bootcamp was for me, and I believe this one can be for you too. I got podcast interviews from it, about my asexuality, which was super valuable for me and the asexual community, bringing asexuality to a whole new entrepreneur audience. You don’t have to be an entrepreneur to enter though, you just have to want to attend and enjoy it, and be willing to learn to get the most and best out of it.
Yesterday, I woke up crying, as it was Queen Elizabeth’s funeral. May her soul rest in peace.
In 2013, I was fortunate enough to meet and speak with HM Queen Elizabeth ll at St James’s Palace in London. So I felt I had some personal connection to her.
In the early hours of yesterday before I went to sleep, I went live on my Asexualise YouTube channel to tell the full story of how I met Her Majesty The Queen. You can view this episode by watching the video below, or by clicking through the link here https://youtu.be/sto9lXLt_N8 (Trigger Warning suicide mention!)
It was January 2013, around 7pm, when I had finished work and was on my way home, that I saw someone walking across the bridge at the end of Fore Street in my city of Exeter, in the UK.
She was looking down over the edge, and looked like she was about to jump.
I walked towards her softly so as not to startle her.
We got into conversation about why she wanted to end her life.
I thought it was because of a particular reason and I was correct. A reason I cannot divulge, to respect her privacy.
She agreed I could phone the police, as I held her up against the rock face by one hand and phoned the police on my mobile with the other hand.
The police called for an ambulance.
But by the time I had got her to change her mind about jumping, she had crept down the rock face too far to get back up and she had drunk too much alcohol for me to pull her back up as she was too heavy, and I would have gone over her head first into the water under the bridge as it was flooded because of the rain.
I was unable to continue to hold her up as she was not able to hold herself against the rock face any longer, and she plummeted into the water head first.
Still with the police on the phone, I rushed across the bridge and down the bank and straight into the water with my coat and work suit on and lifted her head and nose out of the water so she could breathe.
I saw her in the hospital the next day, with a dislocated pelvis and damage to her arm. But she was alive and would recover in 6 months.
But by April, she was walking again using a stick, as we met up.
And some time later she fully recovered.
This article below, was in my local paper for saving her life.
I was a Health Buddy at the time for community service volunteers (CSV) in association with BBC Radio Devon.
They gave me a certificate of achievement for saving her life.
And the person whose life I saved, put me forward for a Good Citizen’s Award, which Devon and Cornwall Police gave me at an awards ceremony.
That year it was CSV’s 50th Anniversary, so I was one of only 4 members of CSV South West region, to be invited to St James’s Palace to meet and speak with HM Queen Elizabeth II. Only 2 out of the 4 got chosen to speak to her, and I was one of those people. The other person had left their position at CSV, so did not go.
I told Queen Elizabeth that I was a Health Buddy for CSV and I got a Good Citizen’s Award for savings someone’s life.
She said, “That’s Good.”
As her husband was alive but poorly at the time and was meant to be there also, but wasn’t, I asked her how he was, and she said, “He is doing well and at Sandringham.”
That was it.
Short and sweet. Just like her.
I thought she was even more beautiful in real life, that her photos. And down to Earth.
The Palace was huge and had a real throne.
I loved that time with her and the whole experience.
It’s a found memory I will cherish forever, and honour until I die and beyond.
Queen Elizabeth passed away at 96 years old. The same age as my Grandma, when she died in 2014.
Queen Elizabeth was also the same star sign as me, a Taurus, and I love that.
I could not watch the funeral as it was way too upsetting for me, and one of my asexual friends arrived back in the UK, in my city, from Hong Kong yesterday, and she really needed my help to move her stuff into her new student accommodation, so I agreed.
It was good for me to help a friend who was also really happy to see a friendly and familiar face after a 13 hour flight, and delays and cancellations to public transport due to the funeral in London, rather than me sat blubbering in my flat all day.
I also wanted to remember the Queen Elizabeth as she was.
As always, stay ACE.
Love
Sandra xx
(P.S. I realised by the time I finished writing this, I didn’t publish it until Wed 21st of Sept, at 00.50am, so saying it was yesterday I woke up crying, was factually inaccurate from when I published it, but not when I actually started to write this post. 19th of September2022, was the actual funeral day, so I woke up crying on that day.)
I was interviewed by Catana @TransformationalArtWithCatana about how Asexuality completely transformed my life! “I love kissing but not sex.”
It all started in 2014, when I went to see a counsellor, because I was worried that I wanted a relationship and liked kissing and romance, but I didn’t like sex, and she told me, “I’m worried about you, because if you want a good guy, you will need to have sex to keep him.”
I was absolutely horrified!
This was the worst thing I could have been told…
I thought to myself, how can any guy be good for me, if they want me to do something to me, that I don’t want to do?
To me, that’s like giving a guy a license to rape me – and that’s not happening.
It meant she was telling me I can’t get love without sex, and that my only value and worth of being in a relationship with a “good” guy, is based on if I have sex with him or not!
Not only is this sending a very dangerous message to me and anyone who is counselled by her…
… it’s the equivalent of saying that anyone who doesn’t have sex, cannot get a “good” guy, so they can’t have a “good” relationship, and aren’t worthy of love.
So what happens to all the people who are not asexual, but who can’t have sex because their disability or special needs, makes it impossible to do that and too painful???
What happens to all the impotent people in the world who can’t have sex???
Do these people also, not deserved to be loved without sex?
Do the they just end up with “bad” guys, because having sex, somehow changes a bad guy into a good guy???
I don’t think so. If they are a bad guy, having sex with them is not going to make them good.
What a load of bullshit.
And if people measure how much they are loved in a relationship by the amount of sex they are or are not having, they are valuing their own worth on how much contact they have with another person’s genitals, which they can’t control, – so there’s no wonder there are high divorced rates, broken relationships, and people feeling unloved and worthless.
So I went back home and Googled “I love kissing but not sex” and this is what happened next…
Listen closely to this until the end, and I am sure you will see how being asexual can be the best thing you ever discover about yourself, and create so many amazing life transformations, to truly enhance and empower your asexual life xx
As asexuality is a sexual orientation largely based on a lack of sexual attraction, it can be hard to make our own voice heard.
Especially as sexual stereotypes and societal conditioning tell everyone that it’s natural to like, want, and need sex, and that anyone who says otherwise must be lying or have something wrong with them.
People tend to discard what they don’t understand.
They tend to disregard what is considered as “not” normal.
And they tend to feel extremely uncomfortable when something doesn’t fit in with their ideology.
But I encourage you to always stand proud of who you are, and to stop listening to what other people say, that drowns out the sound of your own voice.
Asexuals have as much right to speak out about how they think and feel, including if they don’t like, want, or need sex, and have the right to be taken seriously.
Just because asexuality is a minority sexuality, it doesn’t mean it’s wrong and not normal.
It’s normal for SOME people to not like, want, need, or get the urge for, partnered sexual intercourse, ever.
Don’t let anyone blind you into believing we are all the same – because we are not.
There ARE people who never want sex, and that’s okay.
The only reason most people don’t speak out, is because other’s ridicule them and tell you, you can’t be who you are born to be.
I am here to show you, you can.
That your life is your own and that speaking up, in your own voice, is essential to live your own life dreams and no one else’s. Regardless of your sexuality.
That’s why I’m thrilled to be able to give a voice to the voiceless, and share my own asexual life journey of how I became known as The Asexual Entrepreneur and explain what it feels like to be asexual in this highly sexualised world, and how to live your asexual dreams and be your true authentic self, no matter what, on the Dreams ARE Real podcast.
Don’t miss this ACE episode by listening through either of the links below, now, and tell me what you think…
I thought that I would do a review of a book written by Sandra Bellamy regarding asexuality. She has written a few books (I’ll likely review others) and is currently writing another as I write this, which should hopefully be available soon. The book I shall discuss today is “Asexual Perspectives, 47 Asexual Stories” with […]
In broad terms, asexuality is a sexual orientation that is based on the lack of sexual attraction. This means we don’t get the need, urge, or want, for partnered sexual intercourse.
Sexual attraction = being sexually attracted towards a specific person/people.
Sexual desire = desiring the sex itself.
Arousal = a feeling in your genitalia.
Asexuality is also a spectrum, ranging from those who experience zero sexual attraction, known as a “pure” asexual, to those do experience sexual attraction, only under limited, rare, or specific circumstances, or who experience it, but not enough to want to act on it – known as a “grey” asexual.
Some asexuals are sex repulsed and will never have sex and hate it, others are sex neutral and don’t care whether they have sex or not. Others are sex positive and will/do have sex.
Some asexuals hate porn and will never watch it.
Other asexuals do watch porn.
Some asexuals masturbate.
Others asexuals feel sick at the idea of masturbation and it makes them want to throw up – just like some sex repulsed asexuals want to throw up when they hear the word sex.
Some asexuals are into BDSM – even without sex.
Other asexuals can’t stand BDSM and they want to run mile even hearing those words.
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