Loved speaking at Oxford University, as The Asexual Entrepreneur, on October 23rd 2023, for bLU Talks, about How To Reinvent Yourself To Become Your Best Future Self.
Watch the behind-the-scenes bLU Talks UK at Oxford University videos below:
The moment I knew…
Say no… because we’re here to live our life…
The below video is a reel of best bits from my Oxford trip:
Watch the full playlist below, including this ACE asexual introduction:
My talk was based on my chapter in the new bLU Talks book, of Business Life and The Universe, Vol 11, with James Redfield – Bestselling Author of The Celestine Prophecy, and Ken Honda – from MindValley, who is also the Author of Happy Money, as well as Corey Poirier is That Speaker Guy, Multiple-Time TEDx Speaker, bLU Talks Founder, Co-Author of the Wall Street Journal / USA Today Bestseller, Quitless, Featured in and/or seen on: NBC, ABC, Fox, TEDx, Entrepreneur on Fire, Entrepreneur Magazine, Forbes, Second City, The CW and CBS…
So happy to be sharing the stage with so many other awesome speakers for bLU Talks at Oxford University, on Monday 23rd of October, as part of a two-day branded talk series, across 23rd and 24th of October.
In case you didn’t know, I’m Sandra Bellamy – the girl with the microphone in her hand. And that photo was taken when I was a speaker at the UK Asexuality Conference at Westminster University in London.
Learn how to reinvent yourself to become your best future self, step-by-step.
I’m going to be sharing the journey I went on to reinvent myself to become my best future self, which my discovery of being asexual and my asexuality life reinvention, hugely contributed to.
I will reveal the transformations I’ve made in my life, especially since finding out I’m asexual in 2014 .
You don’t have to live in the UK to attend this event, the founder of bLU Talks and the Event Manager are flying in from Canada and the speaker David Dodson is from Florida.
Would love you to come and support me and wave the flag of asexuality – if you have a flag, otherwise, just bring yourself!
I was absolutely delighted to be featured on Shanna Vavra’s Sense of Soul Podcast, which is a spirituality podcast, talking about asexuality and my spiritual life mission regarding asexuality @senseofsoulpodcast
* Discuss my personal journey from thinking I was heterosexual for years and having sex, to discovering I’m asexual and I’ve now been sex free for years.
* Clarify what it means to be asexual, different types of asexuals – including grey asexual and pure asexual, and different types of relationships people might have if they’re asexual.
* Explore topics covered in my up and coming book: Asexual Guide To Sex book and why I chose to write this book.
* Why it’s so important to get asexuality recognised as a sexual orientation in its own right throughout the globe.
On Tuesday 12th Sept 2023, I’ve just been featured in an interview about asexuality with James Miller – Lifeology Radio. This is a dream come true for me, to reach such a huge global audience, in regard to asexuality.
In this interview James and Sandra:
* Clarifies what it means to be asexual – Pure asexual vs grey asexual.
* Busts through myths about asexuality.
* Discusses dating as an asexual person.
* Discusses the discrimination asexuals face as a minority sexual orientation.
* And so much more….
James Miller, is the CEO of James Miller | LIFEOLOGY®, LLC and The Executive Producer and Host of LIFEOLOGY® Radio Nationally Broadcast and Syndicated Radio Show www.JamesMillerLifeology.com
Which is broadcast on/across:
National Radio Stations
18 AM/FM terrestrial radio stations: Tuesday at 1:30 pm, Friday at 9:30 am, and Saturday at 12:30 pm
Asexuality Reaches A Global Audience Of Over 3 Million Listeners
So far James estimates that the day my interview episode aired, it had an average of 3 million people who heard it on the radio, 200k streaming listeners and podcast/video about 20k – Final numbers will be available at the end of the month. This really helps me to fulfil my life mission of getting asexuality recognised as a sexual orientation in its own right throughout the globe, so no asexual has to live in fear of ridicule ever again.
On the 10th of August 2023, I was in the opposite position, as a co-presenter with Laura Lake on bLU Talks Amplify Your Message show.
I got to speak a bit about asexuality when Laura introduced me as a co-host at the start of our live streamed interviews.
Watch the video below to hear what I had to say to amplify what it means to be asexual in this highly sexualised world.
bLU Talks stands for business, life, and universe – So this means I’m reaching a more global creative/business audience when talking about asexuality on this show. This helps towards my life mission of getting asexuality recognised as a sexual orientation in its own right throughout the globe, so that no asexual has to live in fear of ridicule ever again
I also mention asexuality a little during some of the interview conversations we had that day.
It’s been my dream since starting my www.quirkybooks.wordpress.com blog in 2010, way before I started helping asexuals in 2015, to have my own book publishing imprint called Quirky Books and to be a best selling author – I’m pleased to say I’ve now achieved both. But the fact I’ve done it while helping asexuals, puts the icing firmly on the cake and makes it the cherry on the top. Combining my two greatest life passions, writing non-fiction books that change live from pain to gain and helping asexuals – feels incredibly amazing and euphoric.
I honestly believe I was put on this earth this time around (I think I’ve been here before in a past life) to help asexuals. I believe God/Universe put me here to help asexuals with love, life, confidence, dating and relationships, so you can truly ACE your life, and to fulfil my life mission – of getting asexuality recognised as a sexual orientation in its own right throughout the globe, so no asexual has to live in fear of ridicule ever again. Whilever I’m alive I will try my utmost to achieve this, and my books will live on long after I’ve gone – as my lasting legacy to still help save and change lives for future generations to come.
On 08/08/2023 – Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Love, Life, and Sex, ACElebration of Asexual Diversity book hit the Best Seller list in Human Sexuality – #51. This was an incredible achievement, not just for me personally in terms of achieving my dream, but because it was in a highly competitive category to be a best seller in, as most books in it, are traditional-style sex books, so it’s a huge achievement for an asexual book, and therefore asexuality – which is a sexual orientation based on the lack of sexual attraction – in case you’re not asexual, never heard of asexuality before, or confused.
It took me 7 years to become a registered publisher in the UK under Quirky Books. Which I achieved in 2017, and it was a dream come true for me.
And now it’s taken 6 years for Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, under that imprint, to become a best seller – as I published that in 2017 and now it’s 2023. So 6 years later I got my dream.
Yesterday I was updating my social media – and I shared this achievement on my LinkedIn profile…
And my friend saw it and posted this lovely post and kind words on LinkedIn about my Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories book – they recommended it as a #MustRead
It’s lovely when someone understands the true purpose and meaning behind your literacy work.
Get your copy here https://amzn.to/44j4rdq
I’m so thankful to have achieved all these dreams both for me and asexuals / asexuality.
What’s next for me and asexuality???
On 23rd October 2023, I’m going to be speaking live at Oxford University for bLU Talks and I’ve already been given a lot of prep I need to do for that. I’m co-authoring a bLU Talks books, the Foreword of which is by Ken Honda from Mind Valley, and I just revised the edits of my chapter a couple of days ago for that. Both of these are inclusive of asexuality. I will be using the chapter I wrote for that book, as my foundation for my Oxford talk, that is called 9 Steps To Reinvent Yourself To Become Your Future Self. It describes how I went from being a deeply lonely, shy, and introverted girl as a child, who was scared to be on social media in 2011 and was shy to talk about sex prior to finding out I’m asexual in 2014 – to what I do now, which is helping asexuals through my www.youtube.com/asexualisemyasexuallife channel since 2015, being publicly open about being asexual and about my asexual life – all over social media, and able to talk about sex and masturbation as easily as drinking water. I describe the transformational journey I went on, to become the extroverted, loud, bubbly, talkative person I am today. Without which, I would not be able to give a voice to asexuals and help them. Although my talk is going to be based on my chapter concept in the bLU Talks book – it doesn’t have to be and I can talk about whatever I want – so long as it helps the bLU Talks audience, that is mostly made up of entrepreneurs, creatives, and spiritual people. In case you were wondering, bLU stands for business, life and universe, so the talk needs to be relevant to any of those topics areas and suitable for their audience. They spell bLU with a lower case b for their branding – in case you thought it should be capitalised.
I also have a virtual stage talk I will be doing for bLU Talks in the future and I’ve completed the first stage of an initial application to a TedX UK event next year, to do a talk about asexuality – the organiser will have a Zoom call with me in January / February 2024, to explain how the process works from that initial application.
So I still have lots to achieve… and tons more to do.
Plus, I’m still finishing the final edits of my Asexual Guide To Sex book – a book I’ve been working on for over 4 years now.
AND…. All of this goes towards achieving my life mission of getting asexuality recognised as a sexual orientation in its own right throughout the globe, so no asexual has to live in fear of ridicule ever again.
I’ve also been given 2 High Five rewards #youtubehighfive by YouTube for my original channel https://www.youtube.com/quirkybooksTV which only has 172 subs as that was my first channel which also goes with my Quirky Books blog and my book publishing imprint, although it’s no longer my main channel, as my Asexualise My Asexual Life channel is, so I haven’t paid much attention to it until I got my first reward – it feels amazing that my hard work is finally being recognised by YouTube, and I’ve been interviewed on top rated podcasts talking about asexuality – more on that in later articles when those interviews go live.
I got 2 cinema codes from YouTube for FREE VUE cinema tickets. One I used to see Gran Turismo – amazing movie, which I did a movie review of on my Asexualise channel – see the video below, and the second one I will be redeeming before 2nd Of September.
Feels good to have been making so much progress this year, especially for asexuals and asexuality – as well as my Quirky Books / writing.
And you can still grab a copy of my autobiographical superhero-style Fibromyalgia Self-Help Handbook for half price (50% OFF) on Kindle OR £3.00 OFF the paperback here https://amzn.to/3YMKHhj until midnight UK time, on 31st August 2023. So grab a copy of that at the same time, if you want to reduce pain in 25 aspects of your life, have more energy and be happier – most of the methods I teach in this book for managing fibromyalgia (anxiety and depression) can help you even if you don’t have fibro, as they are transferable skills.
Whether you decide to buy the books or not, thanks for your continued support – I appreciate it so much xx
To celebrate ACE Fibro Girl Awareness Month this month I’m now offering a WHOPPING 50% off the Kindle version and £3.00 off the paperback version of my autobiographical superhero-style Fibromyalgia Self-Help Handbook: How To Manage Fibromyalgia, Have Less Pain, More Energy, Feel Happier, Like A Superhero Rockstar – here https://amzn.to/44lovfd
This book is inclusive of asexuality and please note ACE Fibro Girl on the front cover (ACE = Asexual).
For a limited time only – (ends August 31st).
It’s a great book to help you combat depression and manage anxiety better – even if you don’t have fibro.
It explains how to reduce pain in 25 aspects of your life, most of which are applicable, even if you don’t have fibromyalgia.
It’s a non-fiction personal development self-help development book in disguise, that I know can help you to live your best life… with less pain, more energy and happiness.
Told in an informative super-hero-style entertaining way, it’s sure to bring a simile to your heart and insight to your mind…
This is the first time I have done such a reduction on this book, across all Amazon Marketplaces, since I published it in 2019, so don’t miss out on these best prices… Grab your copy here now https://amzn.to/44lovfd
BOOK BLURB
If you feel like fibromyalgia is ruining your life and taking over it, if fibromyalgia leaves you feeling depleted in energy, in constant pain, and you are sick and tired of struggling, of feeling depressed, hopeless and helpless, and you desperately want to relieve your symptoms of pain, feel more energy and be happier, you need this book. I am living proof that it really doesn’t have to be that way. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 2012, yet I have the most energetic, happy, vibrant and fulfilling life ever, since my diagnosis and in spite of it, but what’s my secret? My mission is to empower you to live a more energetic, vibrant and fulfilling life, in spite of your fibro, using unconventional methods, simple techniques and concrete ways that really work!
In this book you’ll learn:
How to manage fibromyalgia in a truly new and revolutionary holistic way, without the need for meds, CBD Oil, or patches, to get your fibromyalgia working for you instead of against you.
•How to manage your fibromyalgia in 25 aspects of your life, to reduce your pain. With practical, helpful, simple and easy to follow, actionable advice, that is straight to the point and really works.
•How to take back control of your life; have more happiness; more energy and more freedom from your pain, so you own your fibro and it doesn’t own you.
•How to maintain and sustain having less pain, more energy and feeling happier, to live a better quality of life.
•The exact antidotes to save yourself from pain.
•The right mindset you need to have to effectively reduce your pain.
•What foods to eat and not to eat to ease your pain.
•What footwear to buy to stop your feet from swelling most of the time.
•How to stop depression and make it a thing of the past.
•How to reduce your anxiety and worry less.
This revolutionary Fibromyalgia Self-Help Handbook is not a cure for fibromyalgia, but a complete holistic system for managing your fibromyalgia that literally gives you the antidotes to save yourself from pain. It shows you a unique way to manage your fibromyalgia, step-by-step, which you will never have seen before. By being more informed about what’s most effective for coping with fibromyalgia from someone who has fibromyalgia, who understands your plight, frustrations and problems that fibromyalgia gives you, you’ll be able to implement positive action steps that will dramatically improve the quality of your life. Within this book, you will discover the insider secrets and effective strategies to managing and reducing your pain, so much so, that your fibromyalgia becomes insignificant! Think of this book as your fibro bible and blueprint for how to be your best self, and live your best life!
This book exposes you to the real truth about why you are suffering with fibromyalgia and what keeps your pain locked inside you. It gives you the formula to unlock it, release it, and free yourself forever from your pain as much as possible, so you can truly thrive and flourish in spite of your fibro.
In a nutshell, you will discover the secret formula for long lasting mental health and happiness, and how to be your own superhero to save yourself from pain! This is THE ONE fibromyalgia book you’ll never want to be without.
So if you value your quality of life, if you are sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, with living in agony, pain and misery, with little energy and hope for the future, and it’s making you feel depressed, if you have decided you can no longer go on like this and you need practical, helpful advice, you can put into action instantly to start making dramatic changes rapidly, to feel better, forever, this book IS DEFINITELY FOR YOU! Don’t waste another moment of your precious life suffering, when you don’t have to, buy now https://amzn.to/44lovfd
In broad terms Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction, but what does this actually mean for those who identify with this sexual orientation? And what do asexuals really think of love, life and sex?
Whilst all asexuals have one thing in common – the lack of sexual attraction towards a specific person, we are all different in our likes, needs, wants and dislikes. This can make fitting into the asexual spectrum and finding a suitable relationship difficult.
Right now, there are a number of myths about asexuality and stereotypes – even within the asexual community, about what asexuals do and do not like, should and should not do, and these need to be addressed and broken through!
If you identify as asexual do you –
Struggle to have a voice in this sexualized world?
Feel alone?
Misunderstood?
Misplaced?
Broken?
Left out?
Not recognised?
Have no one to relate to?
Find it difficult to find others like you?
Feel like everyone is speaking a foreign language where sex is concerned?
Or are you unsure of your identity and sometimes get confused and you want to know what asexuals really think of Love, Life and Sex, and what experiences they have had or are having; and how they manage their relationships? If so, then look no further than this book. In this book you will discover asexuals who feel just like you.
In this book I will reveal my own asexual perspective and personal story as well as perspectives from 46 asexuals around the globe; dispelling myths and breaking stereotypes; sharing their own personal journey to help you in yours and with a surprising over-riding message!
In this book you will:
•Learn the asexual perspectives of Aromantics; Heteroromantics; Homoromantics; Panromantics; Grey Aces; Demi-sexual; Biromantic; Agender; Transgender; Polyamorous and many more.
•Uncover Asexuals’ deepest fears, concerns and worries about being asexual.
•Find out possible reasons why, in general, society does not accept asexuality as a sexual orientation in its own right and what we can do about this to change the world!
•Discover what asexuals really believe are the differences between sexual attraction, sexual desire and arousal.
•Find out what asexuals really think of nudity; porn; masturbation; BDSM and kinks.
•Discover what it feels like to have sex as an asexual and how to cope with the sexualized world that we live in.
•Find out what asexuals think about living together, about marriage and about having kids.
•Discover what an ideal asexual relationship would look like and whether asexuals believe a relationship with a sexual would be fair or not.
•Uncover the positives about being asexual.
•Find out what advice asexuals would give to a younger version of themselves regarding asexuality and what advice they would give to others who are just discovering they may be asexual.
I feel truly blessed that all interviewees have been willing to open up and share their most intimate moments, thoughts, feelings and emotions with you. What you are about to read is unique, amazing, interesting, sometimes candidly humorous, fascinating and insightful. This is their story, now it’s their time to tell it.
If you have resonated with any of these points and you want to know more, please invest in this book.
Heteroromantic, Author Sandra Bellamy is the founder of www.asexualise.com, with products, resources and services for asexuals. She sees herself as an ambassador for asexuality and is on a mission to get asexuality recognised as a sexual orientation in its own right throughout the globe so that no asexual has to live in fear of ridicule ever again. By purchasing this book you will gain a deeper understanding of this often misunderstood sexual orientation and help to spread awareness of asexuality at the same time. We may be small in numbers, but we can still make a huge difference to the world at large and celebrate our diversity.
P.S. If you’ve already bought a copy of Asexual Perspectives book but not yet left a review on Amazon – please can you do so here https://amzn.to/3DjT4Hc as it will really help raise asexuality awareness and also help others to make an informed purchasing decision.
Here are some of the reviews received so far:
Andrew 1 5.0 out of 5 stars A very helpful book for understanding asexuality
Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on 7 January 2018 Verified Purchase
An essential guide to understanding the great diversity in the asexual community. 47 asexuals covering a representative cross-section of gender, age, and nationality, answer a detailed set of questions about their personal experiences and views. The author also answers the same questions herself and expands on her background. A very helpful guide for anyone wanting to understand the psychology of asexuality and to know where they fit into the asexual spectrum, and very reassuring to the reader to know that many people have had the same experiences as them.
Asten 5.0 out of 5 stars This is a great explanation of asexuality
Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on 23 July 2017 Verified Purchase
This is a great explanation of asexuality. As an ace myself I would recommend it to my friends and family in an effort to understand our orientation more. I enjoyed reading Sandra’s story as well as all the other stories in the book. Really inspiring, thanks Sandra xxx
Mr John Molda 5.0 out of 5 stars An excellent read
Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on 27 September 2017 Verified Purchase
A very well written book giving you an insight into the lives of various people. As an Ace, i would recommend it to anyone looking to learn about the world of asexuality.
Josie 5.0 out of 5 stars Sandra’s book is absolutely brilliant for people who are Asexual or even for their …
Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on 4 February 2018
Sandra’s book is absolutely brilliant for people who are Asexual or even for their friends and family if they want to understand more about what it means and the different sexualities and romantic attractions that can come under the umbrella term of ‘A Spec’. Sandra must have spend a lot of time researching and finding people who identify differently but on the spec. The fact that she has found people of different nationalities and ethnecities gives the book a well rounded and global feel. Definitely recommend it
Amazon Customer 5.0 out of 5 stars Love the Book
Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on 29 July 2017
The absolute best book on the subject for anyone looking to learn about asexuality from the worldview of real asexuals.
Yuliya 5.0 out of 5 stars Sandra is a great writer
Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on 15 March 2022 Verified Purchase
Very insightful and a wise book and I would recommend it to anybody who likes to read any type of non-fiction!
Amazon Customer 5.0 out of 5 stars
Candid stories tell the stories in an honest and transparent fashion in every chapter and this book by far captures the spirit of what asexuality actually is better than any other book on the subject
Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on 27 July 2017 Verified Purchase
The most diverse collection of up close and personal in depth looks at real life experiences and world views of asexuals.
Candid stories tell the stories in an honest and transparent fashion in every chapter and this book by far captures the spirit of what asexuality actually is better than any other book on the subject.
Listen to my talk about asexuality on bLU Talks by clicking through the link below, My talk starts at 2:14:32.
On Friday 23rd June 2023, I had the pleasure of being a guest on bLU Talks Amplify Your Message, talking about asexuality, what it is, and dispelling the myth that asexuality is a choice – it’s not.
I share my own asexual life journey and about my specific asexuality mission; I explain how some asexuals actually feel left out of the LGBT+ community because others there who aren’t asexual, still experience sexual attraction, whereas asexuality is base on a lack of sexual attraction, and so it’s important to get it recognised as a sexual orientation in it’s own right globally too.
I explain how asexuality has literally transformed my life for the better, forever.
You wanted NO BS dating and relationship advice inclusive of asexuality – well here it it – Asexualise Dating now has an official channel all of it’s own. So you can go straight to the heart of the matter and get all the dating and relationships advice you need in one place. Subscribe here now https://www.youtube.com/@asexualisedating and hit the bell icon so you never miss a video.
If you’re subscribed to my main channel https://www.youtube.com/asexualisemyasexuallife you will know I do a mixture of asexual information, education, entertainment and lifestyle videos. This channel includes a regular chat show where you can ask me any questions you like, live in chat. And I help asexuals with love, life, confidence, dating, relationships, self-love and self-care. As I cater for asexuals across the asexual spectrum, some asexuals who never want to date or have a relationship – feel they don’t need this kind of advice (although they can still find it interesting and some of the things I talk about are relevant to any kind of relationship – such as friendships, so it’s still extremely helpful and valuable advice). Whereas other asexuals want more of these types of videos.
Some of my most watched videos on my main channel are my dating and relationships advice ones. And I did a survey to find out how many people would be interested in a new channel dedicated to just dating and relationships and an overwhelming majority said yes they would, so here it is.
Watch the intro video above and the videos below, and don’t forget to subscribe. Please note, I have purposefully included my aim with this Asexualise Dating channel to incorporate sexuals as well as asexuals – this includes heterosexuals. The reason for this is to fulfil my life mission of getting asexuality recognised as an official sexual orientation in it’s own right throughout the globe, so that no asexual lives in fear of ridicule ever again. I believe the only way of fully achieving this is to get the acceptance of the majority world population sexual orientation – that is heterosexuals, to make real and lasting impactful change on a world-wide scale.
There is lots of work being done, not just by me, but by many other asexual activists to unite asexuals with each other and to provide a relatable sense of community, but we don’t need to convince each other that asexuality is real and exists, we know it does. Where we need to make a change is within the heterosexual community and general population at large – which is where I come in…
I have been in heterosexual relationships for over half of my life, and I had my first asexual relationship at just 6 years old. I was passionately kissing my boyfriend at that age!!!! And he wanted to do sexual exploration and I felt really uncomfortable and invaded as I knew it was wrong. At 17 years I saw the college counsellor and told her about this and she didn’t understand why I was so upset about it and she dismissed and invalidated my feelings by saying it was just “doctors and nurses” and normal, but I knew it wasn’t. I thought I was heterosexual for years, but it’s clear looking back at that moment, that I was born asexual but didn’t realise it. That didn’t stop me having other heterosexual relationships in my teens and for years to come and I’m an asexual who has had sex in the past, because that’s what I thought I had to do as part of a “normal” relationship, I didn’t realise I had a choice not to do that and that there were others in the world like me, until I discovered I’m asexual in 2014. As I write this, I’ve currently been sex free for coming up to 12 years – thank God, that makes me so happy.
However, I still haven’t found my asexual soulmate who I believe is Indian – I’ve been on the dating scene now since 2014 – that’s 9 years and I’ve learnt a lot in that time, both about the people on dating sites and dating apps, how to actually get dates and how to avoid getting into a relationship with an abuser or narcissist. I’ve learnt about love languages, attachment styles, how childhood trauma can affect relationships, about consciousness and ego and about what’s game playing and what isn’t, and now I can use all of this experience to help asexuals and help sexuals to be better too. So I can bring both asexuals and sexuals together, to foster understanding and help asexuals come out as their beautiful selves by enabling sexuals to accept asexuality is very real and that we offer valuable and unique insights into dating and relationships, which are worth knowing about.
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and as always, stay ACE xx
