What is it Like to Date an Asexual if you are Sexual?

Posted on by Asexualise
can sexuals date asexuals

So most people believe that if you are asexual and won’t have sex with a sexual partner, you should not be with one. I know from my own experience that I cannot date sexuals anymore, because it has not worked numerous times before and it would just would not work out. I even tried it last year as my own Asexual Perspectives book gave me hope that it was possible because a biromantic person is in a relationship with a sexual and they said sex was never an issue! Lucky them. It didn’t work out for me although for reasons other than a lack of sex, but I don’t need that kind of worry and anxiety anymore of what if he were to go get that with someone else, or of if he changed his mind, or if he tried something on – I know he was keen for me to masturbate him and I just wasn’t into that!

I did manage to find these two fabulous videos though, of sexuals who are dating asexuals and don’t seem to mind having a relationship without sex.

Watch these videos to find out what is it like to date an asexual if you are sexual?

10 Awesome Benefits To NOT Having Sex!

Posted on by Asexualise

Here are 10 Awesome Benefits To NOT Having Sex!

1) You don’t have to worry about getting a STD.

2) No risk of getting pregnant or of getting someone pregnant.

3) No pressure or expectation to perform.

4) You will be loved for who you are, not for how many orgasms you can attempt to give or have.

5) Less mess and changing of bed sheets!

6) Relationship compatibility is increased because there is more focus on shared mutual interests, hobbies, likes and dislikes – rather than sexual attraction being the primary reason for the relationship to start and continue.

7) Less divorce rates due to impotency or lack of sex, if you are not having it anyway.

8) You have more time to focus on other things.

9) You don’t have to feel guilty if you are too tired to have sex or not in the mood.

10) There is more chance of getting to the root of relationship problems, and either sorting them out or cutting your losses sooner – rather than using sex as a kiss and make-up mask over the problem – leading to more frustration, hurt and pain, later on!

Asexual Love: Asexual Dating Group – Got My Asexual Boyfriend: Asexual Soulmate!

Posted on by Asexualise

So after being single for almost 6 years, and searching for my Asexual soulmate for over 3 years since 2014 on Asexual dating sites www.asexualitic.com and www.ace-book.net , I finally found him in my own Asexualise Dating Facebook group, that is strictly for asexuals only, who want to date and find a committed forever relationship/s without sex ever. So from Monday 1st of October we became in an official asexual relationship. I am really thrilled about this, love without sex definitely exists with us.

So if you are new Asexuality and don’t know what I am talking about, asexuality is a sexual orientation, that is barely unheard of and deeply misunderstood. It means a lack of sexual attraction. Asexuals make up about 1% of the world population, that is 1 in every 100 people you meet are likely to be asexual.

So in broad terms an asexual person is someone who does not get the need, urge, or want, for partnered sex (intercourse). Although some may still have it to please their sexual partner or because they enjoy it as an activity to do, like a board game. I have had sex in the past but would rather not have done. That was before I realised I am a heteroromantic asexual, not a heterosexual. I actually define myself as a Heteroromantic, Hyper-romantic, Grey A, Asexual, Younger Cougar, who does not like sex, just kissing. That means I get attracted romantically to the opposite sex – guys, just not sexually; I am extremely romantic to the extent that would be incomprehensible to some who are not like that, so I can fall in love easily, over a few texts messages or Skype sessions for example – I have been managing that well, so trying to refrain from doing that, but yeah, I love my guy, but we have known each more than that, so it’s fine. And I literally love the romance that Disney movies are made of and making it come to reality! I feel loved up almost 24/7 just with myself!

I have grey areas, so my body gets aroused, but I still have no need, want or urge, for sex, ever.

I am Grey A, which I define as having Grey Areas, because I experience high levels of arousal and can get aroused in my body, by myself, without touching anything or thinking about anyone, or from just thinking about the word aroused, or thinking about kissing, and also by actual kissing. I never go to look at porn, that is personally yuk to me, and if I happen to talk about sex, which happens more as I help a lot of people discover if they are asexual or not, and asexuals often talk more about what they physically can and can’t cope with and like than sexuals do, or I see some sexual images by accident pop up in my Twitter feed for example – and I block them, unfortunately it can set off my arousal, even though I hate sex and sex personally repulses me these days, for me – not for others. People think arousal and sexual attraction are the same thing but they are not, although for sexuals they can be intertwined, as one can instantly lead to the other, for asexuals they are usually separate. Just think, if you touch your genitalia, you are likely to get aroused – think masturbation, but for asexuals, if they do that, it is usually to release arousal feelings with no desire for sex. Some do it for other reasons such as to de-stress or use it as a tool to go to sleep.

I am an asexual cougar means I get attracted to guys who are younger than me and in my case usually foreign, (although my soulmate is British born he still has a foreign looking face from his mum’s side of the family), and I only want a relationship with a younger guy but to be romantic with, kiss, cuddle, hold hands, not have sex with. And in my case I am also nudity repulsed and have no desire to see a guy naked below the waist.

My Asexual guy lives in London in the UK and can relocate, he is also a heteroromantic, hyper-romantic and sex repulsed. He is not into nudity either, but loves passionate kissing like I do and is quite happy to be with someone older in birth certificate age. Although younger, he is older in birth certificate age than I would usually go for, and he is not that much younger, but it doesn’t matter as he is adorable and looks younger in person and has an incredibly amazing personality and I feel so lucky and blessed to have found him, at last!! We both like doing young stuff.  We have quite a lot of other stuff in common and get on really well and he is coming to see me for 5 days next month and I can’t wait. I am super excited about that!

If you want to know more about asexuality, I wrote a book called Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Love, Life and Sex, ACElebration of Asexual Diversity, and be sure to like www.facebook.com/acexualise And you can find the biggest online community of asexuals at www.asexuality.org

 

If you have a partner, whether they are sexual or asexual, how long did it take to find the partner of your dreams?

Until next time, stay ace

Sandra xx

(UPDATE – Sadly it didn’t work out with this guy and you can read what happened in my next post)

You Are Not A Piece Of Meat!

Posted on by Asexualise

Unfortunately I have had past experience of some sexual guys treating women like pieces of meat – It’s the sex they desire regardless, and they will say some nasty things when you don’t deserve them, just to make you either feel so bad that you think you must have sex, or when you refuse, that you are worthless, ugly, and unlovable.

These guys are shallow and will stop at nothing to get what they want. Sex is just a commodity to them and feelings don’t matter apart from they want to abuse them and manipulate you to do what they want. They cause you pain, get your brain to think you have a problem; then entice you to stop the problem, to their advantage. This is a form of emotional and mental abuse and you need to know it is not your fault and you have done nothing wrong. Even though they will try to get you to believe there is something wrong with you, there isn’t.

Then there are the guys that make you feel like you will lose them because they are more mature than you because you don’t have sex. Again, the end goal is to get the sex.

These guys are what put respectful and thoughtful guys to shame. And although my experience is on the receiving end of some guys, there will no doubt be some women who make guys feel bad if they don’t have sex too.

It has been reported that one in 3 relationships will be abusive, and if you have come across this type of guy or girl, don’t get into a relationship with one, because you are worth more than sex and a guy’s opinion of you, and you don’t need to have sex to be worthy of respect and love, it’s your basic human right. If you are in a relationship like this, seek help, support, and a way to safely leave. If you were thinking about getting into one because you are at fault in some way, you are not, it’s your life and no one should be manipulating you and making you feel bad about something you are not comfortable in doing, and you are free to walk away, so ensure you do.

I am not a councillor or medical practitioner. I am just giving you advice from experience and hope it makes a difference to your life.

Stay ace

Sandra xx

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