Happy ACEmas – Embrace the Moment, Play Full Out For December and Practice Self-Care

For some people Christmas is already over, for others it’s half way through (Happy ACEmas – Happy Christmas) and the festive celebrations continue and for others it’s never started – as they don ‘t celebrate it. Wherever you’re at, I hope you make the most of the final days left in December and play full out for it. Here’s why – watch the video below.

Read my AI Assistant’s summary of the key points in my video conversation below – I have checked and corrected its summary:

Don’t Let December Slip Away: Cherish the Present and Prioritise You

The festive season is a magical time, but it often speeds by in a blur of gift-giving, parties, and planning for the year ahead. Many of us are already looking towards January, setting new goals and leaving the current year behind. But what if we’re missing out on something precious by rushing? Sandra reminds us that the final days of December hold immense value. It’s a time to slow down, appreciate the here and now, and focus on ourselves before the next chapter begins.

The Art of Savouring the Present Moment

Christmas Day might be over for some, but the festive spirit and the remaining days of December are far from finished. Sandra emphasises the importance of embracing the present moment rather than constantly looking ahead. We often get caught up in the anticipation of what’s next, forgetting to appreciate the beauty of what’s unfolding right now. This mindset can lead us to miss out on valuable experiences and moments of joy.

Time is a precious commodity. Once it passes, it’s gone forever. It’s easy to fall into the trap of constantly planning for the future, especially after a challenging year. However, this can mean we’re not fully present to enjoy the current days. Sandra shares her own struggles with mental health, which can make focusing on the present difficult. Yet, the core of mindfulness is about appreciating where we are, right now, without getting lost in the past or future.

We are alive, and that is something to be cherished. In a world where circumstances can change in an instant, every moment is a gift. Sandra highlights that while we might wish for a new year, it’s essential to acknowledge the people we have with us now. Missing out on the present means missing opportunities to connect, to experience, and to simply be. The remaining days of December offer a chance to soak in the festive atmosphere, connect with loved ones, and practice gratitude.

Navigating a Challenging Year with Resilience

This past year, like many others, has presented its share of difficulties. Sandra openly shares her personal journey through significant trauma, including a serious spinal injury. Despite facing immense challenges, such as a prolonged recovery period, unexpected health setbacks, and the painful dissolution of close friendships, she emphasises the importance of resilience. These tough times, while painful, reveal our inner strength and capacity to overcome adversity.

Sandra recounts experiencing a year filled with hardships, from physical pain and ongoing medical battles to the emotional toll of ending relationships that no longer aligned with her values. The decision to let go of friendships, even those held for years, is a testament to her commitment to integrity and honesty. This process, while difficult, is a crucial step in personal growth and self-preservation.

Despite the struggles, Sandra highlights that these challenging experiences do not define her. Instead, they showcase her resilience and her ability to show up, day after day. It’s in overcoming these tough times that we learn our own strength. This realisation fuels the determination to face future challenges, knowing that we have the capacity to get through them, just as we have in the past.

The Power of Self-Dating and Self-Care

In the midst of festive preparations and reflections on the year past, prioritising self-care is paramount. Sandra introduces the concept of “self-dating” as a powerful tool for enhancing well-being. Self-dating isn’t about necessity; it’s about intentionally setting aside time for activities that bring joy and rejuvenation, treating yourself to a special experience that isn’t part of your daily routine.

This practice is akin to nurturing a relationship with yourself. It involves making deliberate choices to engage in activities that make you feel good, loved, and valued. Whether it’s a solo trip to the cinema, a quiet afternoon with a book, or simply enjoying a meal without distractions, self-dating reinforces self-worth and builds self-trust. It’s about showing up for yourself, just as you would for a cherished friend.

Investing in self-care and self-dating is an investment in your overall happiness and resilience. By consciously creating moments of joy and self-compassion, you build a stronger relationship with yourself. This internal validation is crucial, as external validation can be fleeting. Sandra stresses that this practice helps you to thrive, empowering you to navigate life’s ups and downs with greater strength and a more positive outlook.

Why Self-Dating Matters

  • Builds Self-Trust: Consistently showing up for yourself, even when tired or unmotivated, strengthens your belief in your own reliability.
  • Promotes Self-Esteem: Engaging in activities you enjoy and that nourish your soul naturally boosts how you feel about yourself.
  • Fosters Self-Compassion: It’s a tangible way to show yourself kindness, understanding, and the care you deserve.
  • Enhances Your Relationship with Yourself: Just like any relationship, the one you have with yourself needs nurturing to flourish.

Valuing Your Core Principles: Honesty and Integrity

As we reflect on the year and look towards the future, assessing the people and environments that surround us becomes increasingly important. Sandra shares her personal journey of re-evaluating her friendships, leading her to prioritise honesty and integrity above all else. This means recognising that not everyone aligns with our core values, and it’s okay to create distance when necessary.

Sandra explains that while others may not necessarily be “bad” people, a misalignment in values can create disharmony. For Sandra, honesty and integrity are non-negotiable. This led to difficult decisions, including ending friendships where these values were not upheld. It’s a powerful reminder that healthy relationships are built on mutual respect for core principles.

This commitment to personal values extends to how we interact with others and how we perceive their self-assessments. Sandra learned the hard way not to overly “help” individuals who consistently label themselves as “bad.” Instead, she now takes people at their word, recognising that it’s their journey to change, not hers to enable. This protects her own well-being and ensures she surrounds herself with those who uplift and respect her.

Embracing the “Full On Out” December

Despite the difficulties of the past year, Sandra encourages a “full on out” approach to enjoying the remaining days of December. Instead of rushing into the new year, she advocates for fully embracing the present festive season. This means continuing to enjoy the Christmas lights, the decorations, the music, and the company of loved ones.

There’s a tendency to quickly move past December once Christmas Day has passed. However, the festive spirit often extends beyond the 25th. Sandra highlights that many Christmas-themed activities and events continue into late December and even early January. It’s an opportunity to soak up the remaining joy and sparkle, rather than letting it go to waste.

This “full on out” approach also involves celebrating life itself. It’s about acknowledging our resilience, appreciating the good moments that did occur, and recognising that even tough times have taught us valuable lessons. Sandra reminds us that life is a celebration, and the present moment is where that celebration truly happens. By embracing the present, we honour our journey and foster a positive outlook for the future.

Making the Most of Your December Days

  • Continue Festive Celebrations: Don’t pack away the decorations or stop the Christmas music just yet. Enjoy the remaining holiday ambiance.
  • Attend Local Events: Many festive attractions and experiences remain open for a few more days. Take advantage of them.
  • Practice Gratitude: Reflect on the gifts you’ve received, both material and non-material, and appreciate the people still in your life.
  • Prioritise Self-Care: Use this time to recharge and focus on your well-being, especially by starting a self-dating practice.
  • Reflect and Plan (Gently): While enjoying the present, you can also use quieter moments for gentle reflection on what you’d like for the year ahead.

The Lasting Impact of Self-Love and Resilience

Sandra’s journey highlights a profound realisation: the most crucial relationship we have is with ourselves. In a world that can often feel uncertain, relying on external validation is a fragile foundation. Building resilience, self-trust, and self-worth from within is essential for navigating life’s complexities.

Sandra shares her evolution from prioritising romantic relationships to understanding the enduring importance of friendships. However, she ultimately concludes that the only true constant is oneself. This understanding underscores the need to nurture the relationship with yourself as fiercely as you would with anyone else.

This self-reliance isn’t about isolation; it’s about cultivating an inner strength that allows you to face challenges, even when external support is scarce. Sandra emphasises treating yourself with the same kindness, compassion, and understanding you would offer a best friend. This internal support system is vital for well-being, enabling you to thrive, no matter the circumstances.

Conclusion: Cherish Today, Thrive Tomorrow

As December winds down, it’s a critical time to pause and reflect. Rushing into the new year without appreciating the present can lead to missed opportunities for joy and connection. Sandra’s message is a powerful reminder to savour every moment, practice intentional self-care through self-dating, and honour your core values.

By embracing the present, acknowledging your resilience, and nurturing your relationship with yourself, you build a stronger foundation for whatever the future holds. The remaining days of this year offer a precious chance to play “full on out,” celebrating life and preparing for the next chapter with intention and self-compassion. Don’t let these moments slip away – they are the building blocks of a fulfilling life.

How I’m Playing Full Out This Christmas and Throughout December – In My Own Words

This year I made sure to enjoy my Christmas throughout December and play full out in it. In spite of having 3 broken bones in my spine – yes, you read that right – an MRI confirmed I have 3 broken bones in my spine since April last year, not 2 that showed up on the X-Ray.

I even carefully put my tree and decorations up for the first time ever, in November this year. It’s the first time I have not put all of my tinsel up – but I am happy to have decorated 2 large Christmas trees and put up enough Christmas stuff.

In case you didn’t already know, I attended the Women’s Business Awards in London on the 3rd of December and won 2nd Runner Up for Speaker of the Year – I was in a category along with 19 other people, so competition was very high. They said I worked very hard on my profile within Women’s Business Club – who run these awards.  You can check out my profile here if you’re curious https://womensbusiness.club/u/SandraBellamy

If you voted for me, thank you so, so much. I appreciate that so much.

I was absolutely thrilled to receive this award and you can hear the moment when they announced I won this, in the video here:

While I was in London I went to Shrek’s Adventure, which was all Christmassy here:

I also went to the Disney Store in London Oxford Street here

I also went to The Greatest Showman Come Alive Circus Spectacular show – here is a video from that show:

I still have more videos to post from that on my channel – I have a backlog of videos I haven’t yet posted on my channel about this, as I’ve been so very busy with getting ready for Christmas and doing more Christmassy things in my city, as seen in the videos below:

Here is a video of my city, Exeter, UK, at Christmas.

Here is a video of Exeter Cathedral Christmas Market I went to:

Here is a video of a live walk through I did of Winter Wonderland in Exeter on Christmas Eve:

 I also want to thank those of you who have watched, liked, commented, shared, or viewed my Asexualise channel as we’ve gone over 1.8 million organic views now and 149,000 of those occurred in the last 28 days. I can’t thank you enough for your love and support xx

Be sure to subscribe here if you’ve not already done so https://www.youtube.com/asexualisemyasexuallife

One of the gifts my mum got me for Christmas was some Christmas Pyjamas which unintentionally represent asexuality as they have ACE playing cards on them and ACE is the nickname for asexual. My mum didn’t realise this when she bought them for me, but it makes them extra special for me. See what they look like in the video below and stay ACE xx

10 Ways How To Stop Feeling Lonely At Christmas

How To Stop Being Lonely At Christmas

Christmas can be a lonely time for many asexuals, especially if all your friends are partnered with other people, are seeing their families, and if you feel you don’t quite fit into your own family dynamic or have the Christmas spirit within you.

First of all, you don’t have to be religious to celebrate Christmas, you can just love celebrating life and the fact you are living. You can make Christmas you very own special time, to just enjoy the festive break and make it a happy occasion for you.

Here are 10 Ways How To Stop Feeling Lonely At Christmas!

  1. Fill your day with things you love to do, whether that is going for a walk, watching your favourite movies one after the other, or reading a book. Christmas time is a chance to make time to do what you love and to make yourself feel great about being you and your life.
  2. Go out on a self-date to a local restaurant or pub, many are open for the Christmas period, as it tends to be their busiest time. You don’t have to drink alcohol to have a great time.
  3. Treat yourself to something nice, whether that is your favourite chocolate bar, your favourite perfume, or a bubble bath. Spoil yourself.
  4. Connect with others on social media, by phone, video chat or text. Especially with others who are on their own and also may be feeling lonely. Post on social media, such as on Facebook, and especially in asexual groups, asking if anyone else would like to message, phone, or video chat with you. There’s bound to be someone who feels the same way as you.
  5. Change your state to one of happy, positive and upbeat, so you are enjoying yourself and having fun, rather than focusing on being alone. Play your favourite video games that make you feel great, dance around your home to your favourite tracks, watch motivational and inspirational videos on YouTube. (Also comment on YouTube videos and have comment chats with other YouTubers by replying to their comments!)
  6. Use this time for learning. Watch educational videos that teach you a new life skill, or take an online course, so you keep your mind occupied and off the feeling of being lonely.
  7. Go and visit a friend, relative, or go and see someone else, such as an elderly person, who is also on their own at Christmas and make their Christmas feel special.
  8. Look for meetup groups on https://www.meetup.com that meet up on Christmas Day, Boxing Day – they do have some, and be prepared to travel to them to be around other people.
  9. Book a trip away. Being in different surroundings, can be invigorating and re-energising – Making you feel great!
  10. Do something productive. Write that book you have always been wanting to write. Write in your journal. Write your goals for next year with a plan of how to achieve each one. Write that blog post you have always been wanting to write but not had the time for – or start a blog for free, if you haven’t already at www.wordpress.com Then look for other blog posts in your ‘Reader’ feature, allow other people to follow you, and follow other bloggers and comment on their posts and on other people’s comments, to make blogging friends, so you always have someone to chat to online.

I hope you have enjoyed reading this article about 10 Ways How To Stop Feeling Lonely At Christmas, if you have, give it some like love. If you have any other ideas, please share them below.

Wishing you a fabulous and very Happy Christmas.

Lots off acey love

Sandra xxxxxxxx

 

Why’s It So Hard To Be Happy? Asexual Question #askmeanything #asexuality #asexual

Many asexuals struggle with depression and anxiety, but why? Why do asexuals and indeed many other people struggle and think, why’s it so hard to be happy?

If you missed my 3 hour LIVE stream last night on my www.youtube.com/asexualisemyasexuallife channel, I reveal the answer to this and give you tools and techniques for overcoming depression and setting yourself up for happiness for life. I explain exactly why people find it hard to be happy and how you can be happy, here it is https://youtu.be/KinV4dTzsG0

(Don’t forget to subscribe.)

Following on from that, and re-emphasising what I was saying on my Live Stream, here is Adam Roa – In this video he is exactly damn right about how to be happy!

👉 Have Depression or Anxiety? 😢 My autobiographical Fibromyalgia Self-Help Handbook can help you. This Book Is Excellent For Overcoming Depression and Decreasing Anxiety, even if you don’t have fibro, because in this book I show you exactly how to overcome depression and reduce anxiety, and the principles for this are the same even if you don’t have fibromyalgia. You will learn lots of useful ways to manage your mental health better. (ACE FIBRO GIRL) Asexuality is mentioned in this book .😍KINDLE https://amzn.to/2ru59YG PAPERBACK https://amzn.to/2K2JI7m 😍KINDLE (UK) https://amzn.to/2Q9Ac66 PAPERBACK https://amzn.to/2CuL72q

FREE Authenticity Summit With Asexuality And Embrace Your Quirky Expert Sandra Bellamy – How To Break Free From Your Past And Live Your Truth!

FLY AUTHENTICITY SUMMIT

Fly Experts Summit

I’m thrilled to be one of the 78 experts speaking at the Authenticity Global Online Summit, with Freestyle Your Life (FLY)! Over the course of the summit, you discover how to break free from your past, heal your wounds, and live as authentic you, (in all your asexual glory). Something I know many asexuals struggle with. This 7 day event is absolutely free to attend, and videos will be able to be viewed for 24 hours only, with the opportunity to purchase all talks on video and audio.

I am friends with the event organiser and host, and her own story of her battle with cancer and how she overcame it, by discovering how to be her true authentic self, and live life on her own terms, is truly inspirational and exceptional, she literally lives and breathes what she teaches. I know if anyone can help you to be your true authentic quirky self, she can.

Are Your Thoughts….?

  • …I could have done better in life
  • …I have to be popular with everyone
  • …I have to meet the expectations of others
  • …I don’t live as I thought I was going to
  • …I still regret what happened in the past
  • …I’m worried about my future
  • …I feel I’m not enough

If you answered yes to any of these questions, the FLY – Freestyle Your Life Authenticity Week Online Summit 2019, from 9th-15th of Dec, is for you! The FLY Authenticity Week Online Summit 2019 🎬 is revealing the best tips and strategies of the most amazing experts on authenticity and self-realisation and I am thrilled to be part of it – I am sharing my personal Asexuality story on day 4, which is the 12th of December, make sure that date is in your diary! Nobody should be ruling your life, but YOU ❣ On the FLY – Summit, you’ll learn how to break free from limiting beliefs, past conditioning which no longer serves you, and to heal emotional wounds; and how to implement it all in your life, and in your business if you have one! 🍀

Here’s what you’ll learn:

  • ❣Learn how to break free from whatever sucks in your life
  • Learn how to discover your WHY and live your purpose
  • Learn to become conscious and find your authentic self
  • Learn how to liberate from the curse of being not enough
  • Learn how to stop living your past life over and over again
  • Learn how to turn sacrifice into self-LOVE
  • Learn how to stop self-sabotaging thoughts & behaviour once and for all!
  • Learn how to thrive vs. just survive, and live funny and prosper
  • ❣Learn how to reduce stress and heal your emotional wounds
  • ❣Learn how to restyle your life on your own authentic terms
  • ❣Learn how to transform and turn your dream into a reality
  • ❣Learn how to tap into your genius; to thrive personally and as an entrepreneur
  • ❣Learn how to find your voice and grow and monetise your business
  • ❣Learn how to put yourself into the driver’s seat and live your purpose

And so much more!

This is the first international conference worldwide of its type, featuring 78 authentic and awesome experts and speakers, sharing their immense wisdom and best tips to guide you to becoming authentically YOU. I am so proud to be part of it, especially as I am talking about asexuality to a global audience. Don’t miss this life-changing event for free, it will be well worth your time! You can view the summit by signing up at https://academy.freestyle-your-life.com/Sandrabellamy/2 to receive the email for each day’s event. You get a complete ‘Authenticity Training Blueprint‘ you can follow to break free from whatever sucks at the Status Quo, so you can finally evolve in your life. When you implement the wisdom shared by 78 amazingly authentic and highly inspirational experts & speakers, you can rise and show up as the authentic being you were always born to be; owning who you truly are 🎬🔝. This is not just an interview series, but all interviews and days are built upon each other and are a summarised representation of pure wisdom and mentorship of 78 experts to transform you into the authentic self 🍀. Freestyle-Your-Life is a way of living life on your own authentic terms after pressing Reset and getting rid of all that sucks in your life, so you can truly be the quirky you, you were always born to be, with all your quirky individuality! 😎 I highly recommending attending this event, and you don’t have much time left to register before the even starts on the 9th of December, so sign up here now https://academy.freestyle-your-life.com/Sandrabellamy/2

If you can’t make all the sessions, no problem, you won’t be able to see the event for that day, after 24 hours has passed, but you can view the next one within 24 hours of it going live. Personally, I would turn off the TV and refrain from playing video games for a week, and spend that time watching the summit, because you will learn so much more about life and business to develop and grow yourself to be the best version of you, and that’s more important. You can do those another time, but this is just for 7 days only and I would hate you to miss out on this opportunity. Personal and professional development, helped to free me of depression which I had since a kid, so I always can’t recommend it enough. I know the event organiser has put so much time, energy, and effort into the summit, to help you to become your true authentic self and really wants to make a change in thousands of live. If you want to see the summit but you can’t do that for whatever reason – especially with work, you can also purchase the recordings to the entire event, at a highly reduced price, before the summit even starts with the EarlyBird pricing offer (well worth it)!  78 experts, for a fraction of the cost it would be to buy their mentorship and coaching on an individual basis! Sign up here before this offer is gone for good https://academy.freestyle-your-life.com/Sandrabellamy/2

Don’t forget I will be sharing my personal Asexuality story on day 4 of the event, which is on the 12th of December – Learn From Heroic Life Journeys. I’m super excited about that!

As always, stay ACE

Sandra xx