For some people Christmas is already over, for others it’s half way through (Happy ACEmas – Happy Christmas) and the festive celebrations continue and for others it’s never started – as they don ‘t celebrate it. Wherever you’re at, I hope you make the most of the final days left in December and play full out for it. Here’s why – watch the video below.
Read my AI Assistant’s summary of the key points in my video conversation below – I have checked and corrected its summary:
Don’t Let December Slip Away: Cherish the Present and Prioritise You
The festive season is a magical time, but it often speeds by in a blur of gift-giving, parties, and planning for the year ahead. Many of us are already looking towards January, setting new goals and leaving the current year behind. But what if we’re missing out on something precious by rushing? Sandra reminds us that the final days of December hold immense value. It’s a time to slow down, appreciate the here and now, and focus on ourselves before the next chapter begins.
The Art of Savouring the Present Moment
Christmas Day might be over for some, but the festive spirit and the remaining days of December are far from finished. Sandra emphasises the importance of embracing the present moment rather than constantly looking ahead. We often get caught up in the anticipation of what’s next, forgetting to appreciate the beauty of what’s unfolding right now. This mindset can lead us to miss out on valuable experiences and moments of joy.
Time is a precious commodity. Once it passes, it’s gone forever. It’s easy to fall into the trap of constantly planning for the future, especially after a challenging year. However, this can mean we’re not fully present to enjoy the current days. Sandra shares her own struggles with mental health, which can make focusing on the present difficult. Yet, the core of mindfulness is about appreciating where we are, right now, without getting lost in the past or future.
We are alive, and that is something to be cherished. In a world where circumstances can change in an instant, every moment is a gift. Sandra highlights that while we might wish for a new year, it’s essential to acknowledge the people we have with us now. Missing out on the present means missing opportunities to connect, to experience, and to simply be. The remaining days of December offer a chance to soak in the festive atmosphere, connect with loved ones, and practice gratitude.
Navigating a Challenging Year with Resilience
This past year, like many others, has presented its share of difficulties. Sandra openly shares her personal journey through significant trauma, including a serious spinal injury. Despite facing immense challenges, such as a prolonged recovery period, unexpected health setbacks, and the painful dissolution of close friendships, she emphasises the importance of resilience. These tough times, while painful, reveal our inner strength and capacity to overcome adversity.
Sandra recounts experiencing a year filled with hardships, from physical pain and ongoing medical battles to the emotional toll of ending relationships that no longer aligned with her values. The decision to let go of friendships, even those held for years, is a testament to her commitment to integrity and honesty. This process, while difficult, is a crucial step in personal growth and self-preservation.
Despite the struggles, Sandra highlights that these challenging experiences do not define her. Instead, they showcase her resilience and her ability to show up, day after day. It’s in overcoming these tough times that we learn our own strength. This realisation fuels the determination to face future challenges, knowing that we have the capacity to get through them, just as we have in the past.
The Power of Self-Dating and Self-Care
In the midst of festive preparations and reflections on the year past, prioritising self-care is paramount. Sandra introduces the concept of “self-dating” as a powerful tool for enhancing well-being. Self-dating isn’t about necessity; it’s about intentionally setting aside time for activities that bring joy and rejuvenation, treating yourself to a special experience that isn’t part of your daily routine.
This practice is akin to nurturing a relationship with yourself. It involves making deliberate choices to engage in activities that make you feel good, loved, and valued. Whether it’s a solo trip to the cinema, a quiet afternoon with a book, or simply enjoying a meal without distractions, self-dating reinforces self-worth and builds self-trust. It’s about showing up for yourself, just as you would for a cherished friend.
Investing in self-care and self-dating is an investment in your overall happiness and resilience. By consciously creating moments of joy and self-compassion, you build a stronger relationship with yourself. This internal validation is crucial, as external validation can be fleeting. Sandra stresses that this practice helps you to thrive, empowering you to navigate life’s ups and downs with greater strength and a more positive outlook.
Why Self-Dating Matters
- Builds Self-Trust: Consistently showing up for yourself, even when tired or unmotivated, strengthens your belief in your own reliability.
- Promotes Self-Esteem: Engaging in activities you enjoy and that nourish your soul naturally boosts how you feel about yourself.
- Fosters Self-Compassion: It’s a tangible way to show yourself kindness, understanding, and the care you deserve.
- Enhances Your Relationship with Yourself: Just like any relationship, the one you have with yourself needs nurturing to flourish.
Valuing Your Core Principles: Honesty and Integrity
As we reflect on the year and look towards the future, assessing the people and environments that surround us becomes increasingly important. Sandra shares her personal journey of re-evaluating her friendships, leading her to prioritise honesty and integrity above all else. This means recognising that not everyone aligns with our core values, and it’s okay to create distance when necessary.
Sandra explains that while others may not necessarily be “bad” people, a misalignment in values can create disharmony. For Sandra, honesty and integrity are non-negotiable. This led to difficult decisions, including ending friendships where these values were not upheld. It’s a powerful reminder that healthy relationships are built on mutual respect for core principles.
This commitment to personal values extends to how we interact with others and how we perceive their self-assessments. Sandra learned the hard way not to overly “help” individuals who consistently label themselves as “bad.” Instead, she now takes people at their word, recognising that it’s their journey to change, not hers to enable. This protects her own well-being and ensures she surrounds herself with those who uplift and respect her.
Embracing the “Full On Out” December
Despite the difficulties of the past year, Sandra encourages a “full on out” approach to enjoying the remaining days of December. Instead of rushing into the new year, she advocates for fully embracing the present festive season. This means continuing to enjoy the Christmas lights, the decorations, the music, and the company of loved ones.
There’s a tendency to quickly move past December once Christmas Day has passed. However, the festive spirit often extends beyond the 25th. Sandra highlights that many Christmas-themed activities and events continue into late December and even early January. It’s an opportunity to soak up the remaining joy and sparkle, rather than letting it go to waste.
This “full on out” approach also involves celebrating life itself. It’s about acknowledging our resilience, appreciating the good moments that did occur, and recognising that even tough times have taught us valuable lessons. Sandra reminds us that life is a celebration, and the present moment is where that celebration truly happens. By embracing the present, we honour our journey and foster a positive outlook for the future.
Making the Most of Your December Days
- Continue Festive Celebrations: Don’t pack away the decorations or stop the Christmas music just yet. Enjoy the remaining holiday ambiance.
- Attend Local Events: Many festive attractions and experiences remain open for a few more days. Take advantage of them.
- Practice Gratitude: Reflect on the gifts you’ve received, both material and non-material, and appreciate the people still in your life.
- Prioritise Self-Care: Use this time to recharge and focus on your well-being, especially by starting a self-dating practice.
- Reflect and Plan (Gently): While enjoying the present, you can also use quieter moments for gentle reflection on what you’d like for the year ahead.
The Lasting Impact of Self-Love and Resilience
Sandra’s journey highlights a profound realisation: the most crucial relationship we have is with ourselves. In a world that can often feel uncertain, relying on external validation is a fragile foundation. Building resilience, self-trust, and self-worth from within is essential for navigating life’s complexities.
Sandra shares her evolution from prioritising romantic relationships to understanding the enduring importance of friendships. However, she ultimately concludes that the only true constant is oneself. This understanding underscores the need to nurture the relationship with yourself as fiercely as you would with anyone else.
This self-reliance isn’t about isolation; it’s about cultivating an inner strength that allows you to face challenges, even when external support is scarce. Sandra emphasises treating yourself with the same kindness, compassion, and understanding you would offer a best friend. This internal support system is vital for well-being, enabling you to thrive, no matter the circumstances.
Conclusion: Cherish Today, Thrive Tomorrow
As December winds down, it’s a critical time to pause and reflect. Rushing into the new year without appreciating the present can lead to missed opportunities for joy and connection. Sandra’s message is a powerful reminder to savour every moment, practice intentional self-care through self-dating, and honour your core values.
By embracing the present, acknowledging your resilience, and nurturing your relationship with yourself, you build a stronger foundation for whatever the future holds. The remaining days of this year offer a precious chance to play “full on out,” celebrating life and preparing for the next chapter with intention and self-compassion. Don’t let these moments slip away – they are the building blocks of a fulfilling life.
How I’m Playing Full Out This Christmas and Throughout December – In My Own Words
This year I made sure to enjoy my Christmas throughout December and play full out in it. In spite of having 3 broken bones in my spine – yes, you read that right – an MRI confirmed I have 3 broken bones in my spine since April last year, not 2 that showed up on the X-Ray.
I even carefully put my tree and decorations up for the first time ever, in November this year. It’s the first time I have not put all of my tinsel up – but I am happy to have decorated 2 large Christmas trees and put up enough Christmas stuff.
In case you didn’t already know, I attended the Women’s Business Awards in London on the 3rd of December and won 2nd Runner Up for Speaker of the Year – I was in a category along with 19 other people, so competition was very high. They said I worked very hard on my profile within Women’s Business Club – who run these awards. You can check out my profile here if you’re curious https://womensbusiness.club/u/SandraBellamy
If you voted for me, thank you so, so much. I appreciate that so much.
I was absolutely thrilled to receive this award and you can hear the moment when they announced I won this, in the video here:
While I was in London I went to Shrek’s Adventure, which was all Christmassy here:
I also went to the Disney Store in London Oxford Street here
I also went to The Greatest Showman Come Alive Circus Spectacular show – here is a video from that show:
I still have more videos to post from that on my channel – I have a backlog of videos I haven’t yet posted on my channel about this, as I’ve been so very busy with getting ready for Christmas and doing more Christmassy things in my city, as seen in the videos below:
Here is a video of my city, Exeter, UK, at Christmas.
Here is a video of Exeter Cathedral Christmas Market I went to:
Here is a video of a live walk through I did of Winter Wonderland in Exeter on Christmas Eve:
I also want to thank those of you who have watched, liked, commented, shared, or viewed my Asexualise channel as we’ve gone over 1.8 million organic views now and 149,000 of those occurred in the last 28 days. I can’t thank you enough for your love and support xx
Be sure to subscribe here if you’ve not already done so https://www.youtube.com/asexualisemyasexuallife

One of the gifts my mum got me for Christmas was some Christmas Pyjamas which unintentionally represent asexuality as they have ACE playing cards on them and ACE is the nickname for asexual. My mum didn’t realise this when she bought them for me, but it makes them extra special for me. See what they look like in the video below and stay ACE xx
