I am absolutely thrilled that two people in my Asexualise Dating group, specifically for asexuals who never want sex, have formed a meaningful asexual no sex relationship! And what’s particularly interesting with this success story, is both the happy couple are on the aromantic asexual spectrum (those who lack romantic attraction and sexual attraction). Asexual Love is ace!
I interviewed Patricia to discover more about how this asexual relationship started. Here are her answers told in her own words …
What was your relationship status was before you joined the group and what difficulties you were having finding someone suitable for a relationship?
I was single when I joined the group. I wasn’t really having a hard time with finding a relationship. It wasn’t an important thing in my life. It just wasn’t the most important thing.
How did you come across the Asexualise Dating group specifically for those who never want sex?
I came across the group looking for friends and if it turns into something else great. I was in other ace groups and I saw this one and decided to give it a go. I wasn’t too sure what to expect with a relationship. I have seen a lot of older movies with romance, so I kinda think I know what I want.
How long was it before you found your potential partner in the group?
I’m not sure. I’m bad with timeframes. I met one guy. He wasn’t supportive. My last friend died and I told him and he gave me no support. Next was Eric who I’m seeing now. So maybe a year.
Were there people in the group you liked before you met your partner but for some reason they weren’t suitable?
I never really looked for someone because I’m ace grey aromantic. So it’s wasn’t a huge thing, but I was interested in what I could find.
Who made the first move in terms of messaging and what happened?
Eric did I believe. We started talking in your Asexualise No Sex Dating group in September 2017 and continue talking. We got together in July 2018. I asked him with nervousness, and we felt the same! We had more of the cicadas that summer, and I would call him up as I walked to the senior centre where I volunteer. I would freak out over the birds shadow thinking it would be a cicada and I don’t want to deal with that! I hate bugs! But it’s nice… to have company on my walks. We make each other laugh. We both love video games, we both love nature. He has some albinism so he doesn’t like brightness. But I’m excited to learn Swedish. I’ve always liked the idea of Sweden since I watch the YouTuber PewDiePie. So I’m excited for that.
I know you both live in different countries. How are you planning to move over there? When will this happen? Do you already have a job lined up and will you live together or not at first?
Okay this a long one. He lives in Sweden. I live in the USA. I’m planning to apply for citizenship, but I have to live in the USA for a year, so probably in 2020 I will move. I don’t know when in 2020 though. I plan on moving into his apartment. It will be awkward at first because I have lived on my own for so long, as he has also. So yeah, it will be awkward. I don’t currently have a job, I’m unable to work. I have a cat and puppy, both female.They will be coming too. So no, I don’t have a job lined up, I plan on applying for sick pay. It will also be a good mental and emotional health booster to get away from toxic family members.
Also he and I want a Nordic wedding. NO real wedding plans yet! Just silly talk of it. But I do make jokes that I want an all white wedding, but would he blend in as he has some albino in him, lol! We haven’t said, “I love you yet” but we may in the future when we are physically together.
What would you say to anyone else who is asexual and not looking for sex ever and thinking about joining the group?
I would say, finding a partner takes time and could take longer than me. Moving would be a big thing, but it will need to be done for it to work out.
What advice would you give to other asexuals in general, who are looking for a serious relationship with another asexual without sex?
It takes time. Friendships are important to make as they could turn into something more. When going into the dating scene look for a friendship first. Let it grow. Take your time. Don’t rush.
I need to stress it is so important to have a caring and supportive relationship. He and I are so caring and supportive of each other. I love how we can laugh about things. Also I tend to rant and he will calmly let me know and I stop. He doesn’t judge. I don’t either. If people want to get an idea of how we are, just look up the gif series milkandmocha (milk and mocha) it’s sooo us!
Don’t give up. There is hope for those who are ace and grey aromantics, because Eric and I are both grey aro and we were lucky enough to find each other. I’m agender though and he respects that. That makes me happy. So yeah we make each other very happy.
If you are reading this and you are asexual (not sexual), and you want to join this Asexualise no sex dating group, for asexuals who never want sex, how can you apply?
If you are asexual, single, and never want sex, ever, you can apply to be in my Asexualise Dating group, for asexuals who are looking for a serious and committed no sex ever relationship. There will be questions to answer in order to gain access to the group and not everyone is guaranteed to be accepted, however, many are! Here is the link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/acexualisedating/
If however you are on the more Grey Asexual or Demisexual end of the Asexual Spectrum and/or, you may want or be wiling to have sex upon occasion, then please don’t request to be in my no sex ever dating group and request to be in this one instead https://www.facebook.com/groups/greyacexualdatinganddemiacexualdating/
If you are asexual and just looking for asexual friends, then please request to join this group https://www.facebook.com/groups/acefriendsrus/
Thanks so much to Patricia and Eric for sharing their wonderful Asexualise Dating successful love story and explaining how they met in my Asexualise Dating group, which is specifically for those asexuals who never want sex ever. I wish you lots of love and happiness forever xx
And if you are looking for more relationship insights, don’t forget to get a copy of my Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Love, Life and Sex, ACElebration of Asexual Diversity book here ASEXUAL PERSPECTIVES
BOOK: KINDLE http://amzn.to/2l8kppt
Until next time, as always, stay ace!