So happy to be featured on Empowerography Podcast telling my personal story of how I went from self-loathing to self-loving through entrepreneurship and what inspires me most about thework I do for asexuals and what asexuality actually is.
And if you’ve ever lacked purpose, felt like you don’t belong, or you don’t like yourself or your life – I want you to know I’ve been in that position myself for many, many years, since childhood, and it was tough – is an understatement.
It wasn’t until this moment… that everything changed for me and I went from self-loathing to self-loving…
After watching the video, you may have noticed that in order to self-love, you need to:
Take notice of all the special qualities you have.
How much life experience you have.
How much knowledge you have gained, through work and your life.
How many skills you have gained, through work and your life.
All of which you can use to help others.
Which means you are useful, not useless.
You are worthy of being in life.
You matter.
So think about all of these.
Helping others gives you purpose, meaning, and helps you to heal also. Even if that’s doing some sort of volunteer work – online or offline.
Helping yourself, by seeing your own value and worth, even when you’re not helping others, is important to your own health and wellbeing.
The more you see yourself as you truly are, not what love ones, family, so called friends and society have conditioned you to believe and think you are, the more you can be your true authentic self and love yourself. You can’t love yourself if others have manipulated and brainwashed you into believing you are this, that, and the other… and you can never change and there is something inherently wrong with you – what’s wrong with you, is the lies of unworthiness other people have fed you, and you believe, if you lack self-love. I hope you can begin to see, if you lack self-love, that you are worth loving and being in life.
And if you already love yourself, then I’m super happy for you and I’m glad you’re not dealing with the pain of self-loathing like I used to be, of both my life and myself…
In fact, it was in 2012, that my diagnosis of Fibromyalgia saved me from depression and my first ever business seminar I attended, was the start of my entrepreneurial journey that in turn started my self-love journey… before I found out I’m asexual in 2014…
Once again, this interview helps me with my life mission of getting asexuality recognised as a sexual orientation is its own right throughout the globe, so no asexual has to live in fear of ridicule ever again, and I’m so happy that Brad Walsh gave me this opportunity to empower and inspire his Empowerography audience.
In the main host Ritash’s own words they felt – (Re)energised & inspired by this fantabulous & intimate conversation with Sandra & Hayathi on “Ace”ing Diversity.
I felt very honoured to be introduced as a “celebrity” – see this clip in the video below, or click here https://youtu.be/2iUE4Dm-Ghk
It was one of the most raw, real, authentic, interview discussions I’ve ever had.
“Ace”ing Asexual Diversity, Self-love, Intimacy, Touch Sensitivity, Body Confidence, Non-conformity, covered a wide range of topics:
I was asked about my bestselling Asexual Perspectives book and why I wrote it. – If you haven’t yet got a copy, you can get yours here https://amzn.to/48bZR2C
We talked about Self-love – Including what that looks like and what actions you can take to self-love / self-love more.
Self-worth, body confidence, self-trust, self-respect, being your own cheerleader and best friend and so much more was discussed under “self-love”.
We talked about self-dating and the fact that on Feb 14th 2015 I founded International Celebrate Being Single Day.
We discussed why it’s good to be happy being single, while also being open to a relationship if wanted, and other types of connections.
We talked about being touch sensitive / averse.
We dived into sensual attraction vs sexual attraction.
We discussed arousal and sexual behaviour without sexual attraction.
TODAY is the day – I’m thrilled to be speaking and co-hosting “Ace”ing Diversity, asexuality and queer diversity discussion, on Instagram, Sat 10th Feb, 3pm GMT / 8.30 PM IST.
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So thrilled and proud to be featured on the podcast – AMPLIFY YOU: Ask The Expert: Be Vulnerable And Brave With Your Message An Asexual Journey With Sandra Bellamy.
Once again, this helps to raise awareness of asexuality and bring it to a more global audience that otherwise would never have heard of asexuality. It helps to fulfil my life mission of getting asexuality recognised as a sexual orientation in its own right throughout the globe, so no asexual has to live in fear of ridicule ever again.
An extraordinary story with a powerful message of fostering understanding and breaking down barriers.
Michelle is diving into a conversation with the remarkable Sandra Bellamy, an inspiring figure wearing multiple hats – advisor, author, speaker, coach – Sandra is best known for her YouTube channel, “Asexualise My Asexual Life.”
Sandra shares her journey as a romantic asexual, emphasising the importance of self-love and creating a safe space for her asexual community.
Get ready for an authentic and empowering conversation that transcends labels, as Sandra takes us on a journey of self-discovery, resilience, and the creation of a safe haven for the asexual community.
Join us in celebrating Sandra Bellamy’s impact and commitment to creating a world where no asexual has to live in fear.
Don’t miss:
> The importance of asexual representation and visibility
> Overcoming fear of judgement
> Creating a safe space for asexual community
> Behind the scene with Sandra Bellamy in their content creation
> Sandra’s mission mission is to help asexuals recognise their orientation globally
About Sandra Bellamy:
Sandra Bellamy, aka: The Asexual Entrepreneur, Asexualise, and ACE Fibro Girl, is the Bestselling Author of Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Love, Life and Sex ACElebration of Asexual Diversity; and Fibromyalgia Self-Help Handbook, available from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Blackwell’s, Walmart and more. Asexual Perspectives is also available from Waterstones. Published under her own publishing imprint; Quirky Books. Changing lives from pain to gain, one book at a time.
She’s also contributed to #1 Best Seller the BOOK of WHY (AND HOW) featuring James Redfield: New York Times Bestselling Author, The Celestine Prophecy. Sandra has co-authored bLU Talks Vol 11 book featuring James and Ken Honda which is a #1 International Bestseller. She is a member of bLU Talks ExPeRts Bureau, and a Speaker for bLU Talks – she spoke at Oxford University for them in October 2023.
Sandra’s most famous for her reality-TV-style chat show and vlog, Asexualise My Asexual Life, which has had over half a million views. Educating people about the sexual orientation that is asexuality and inspiring and empowering asexuals to be comfortable and confident as their authentic self, using her own asexual life journey to help others with advice and guidance on love, life, dating, relationships, self-care.
She was a Speaker at the UK Asexuality Conference in London and has been featured in the Daily Mirror, Daily Star and on the Jeremy Vine Show, BBC Radio with Graham Torrington, Apple, Spotify, Channel 4, BBC TV, Femedic, bLU Talks Amplify Your Message and on a variety of podcasts including Lifeology Radio which has over 3 million listeners per episode.
Asexuality Unveiled – Proud to be featured on Humans of Fuzia, who approached me for an interview, sharing my very personal asexual life story from self-loathing to empowering a global community.
Humans of Fuzia are on a storytelling mission with a particular focus on inspiring and empowering their community of over 5 Million+ Women.
In this article interview, I had to answer questions that were both personal and professional.
Which included:
What was my life like growing up?
What is my initiative and how is it helpful for people? This is about my asexuality mission.
What was my experience of the Covid-19 pandemic?
What has been the response to my venture? To the things I do to help asexuals.
How has my life changed? Since I started to help asexuals.
Who is my support system.
And what change I would like to see in the world, this was my answer:
“I would like the world to accept asexuality and that there are some people who genuinely don’t like, want, or need sex. So we can help prevent sexual abuse situations and make dating and relationships a better experience for all.”
Please give this article a read, Asexuality Unveiled: A Journey From Self-Loathing to Empowering a Global Community, here
Biggest asexuality achievement in 2023 – I was on James Miller Lifeology Radio show with over 3 million listeners per episode – That’s 3 million people hearing about asexuality!
James Miller, is the CEO of James Miller | LIFEOLOGY®, LLC and The Executive Producer and Host of LIFEOLOGY® Radio Nationally Broadcast and Syndicated Radio Show www.JamesMillerLifeology.com
I was so happy to be featured on Shanna Vavra’s Sense of Soul Podcast, which is a spirituality podcast, talking about asexuality and my spiritual life mission regarding that. She’s had over a million downloads of her show episodes, so it’s in the top % of listened to podcasts – which is great coverage for asexuality.
My self-reinvention talk included my personal transformational life journey:
From being a shy, lonely, deeply unhappy, introverted girl,
Who was a suicidal depressed mess,
With no purpose…
Averse to touch by strangers…
With huge social anxiety,
And I could only see people on a one-to-one basis…
To being extroverted, loud, bubbly, talkative –
Discovering my life purpose… (and living it.)
Being all over social media…
….organising and hosting asexual meetups…
Being able to hug strangers…
Being able to talk about sex and masturbation, as easily as drinking water… to help asexuals.
Want to know how I achieved all of these transformations and more?
.. And learn the 9 steps to reinventing yourself, to whatever best future version of yourself you want to become?
#1 International Bestselling Author Sandra Bellamy
My talk was based on my chapter in the new bLU Talks book, of Business Life and The Universe, Vol 11, with James Redfield – Bestselling Author of The Celestine Prophecy, and Ken Honda – from MindValley, who is also the Author of Happy Money, as well as Corey Poirier is That Speaker Guy, Multiple-Time TEDx Speaker, bLU Talks Founder, Co-Author of the Wall Street Journal / USA Today Bestseller, Quitless, Featured in and/or seen on: NBC, ABC, Fox, TEDx, Entrepreneur on Fire, Entrepreneur Magazine, Forbes, Second City, The CW and CBS…
Which became a number 1 international bestseller. See screenshots below:
So now I can say I’m a #1 International Best Selling Author. Get the blueprint to changing your self and your life and become who you truly want to be by buying this book here https://amzn.to/4aO9OWk
And I wrote Diary Confessions Of A Hyper-romantic Asexual – 78 Life Lessons To ACE Your Life – book, which I am currently proofreading again along with my best friend, who fortunately for me, works in editorial as a job, so he is highly skilled and knowledgable to help me. Although with a diary-style book, it’s meant to have minimal editing done to it, be a casual conversational tone and use colloquial language, so I have to be careful not to overdo the editing, and to keep it very conversational, but I still want to make some final corrections.
This book is very different to any other book I’ve written before as it’s a diary-style book of my inner most thoughts, feelings and emotions, during a difficult hyper-romantic time and all the life lessons I learnt along the way. It’s written very informally. It’s like a behind-the-scenes of my Asexualise My Asexual Life channel – which is also a behind-the-scenes of my life, where I share my own asexual life journey, in order to help you in yours. Talking about things such as dating, relationships, self-love and self-care – which this book also focuses on helping you with. So it’s like an extension of my channel content to help you in your own asexual life – more details on this to follow and it will be at a low launch price when it’s first released, so keep your eyes on my next blog posts for updates about that, so you don’t miss out.
I was also interviewed by bLU Talks about asexuality on an episode of bLU Talks Amplify Your Message show which was recorded live – and co-hosted that show once too.
And I was the first keynote speaker at the Be And Become Summit on 14th Of December.
Here is my full talk in case you missed it:
And here is the full playlist with some of the highlights of that talk:
on 31st of December 2023, I was notified that I’ve been recognised among the 2023 – Iconic 100 Impact Ignitors Worldwide ICONS for making a difference. (Thanks to all you who voted for me into this 100 list of icons.)
See the full list of IMPACT IGNITORS here: https://bit.ly/Iconic100ImpactIgnitorOf2023List (I’m included in the special mentions – People who have made special contributions to positive change.)
And last year I was interviewed by Shilpi Gupta Shah, PR & Digital Marketing Associate at Fuzia | Fuzia Talent, and she gave me a mention in one of her recent new year 2024 LinkedIn posts, as one of the remarkable women leaders she interviewed, which felt fabulous.
So please, do yourself a favour, never, ever, give up on your dreams and keep taking action to achieve each one of those. Your future self will thank you for it.
And make sure 2024, is the year you say, “I do” to you:
Loved speaking at Oxford University, as The Asexual Entrepreneur, on October 23rd 2023, for bLU Talks, about How To Reinvent Yourself To Become Your Best Future Self.
Watch the behind-the-scenes bLU Talks UK at Oxford University videos below:
The moment I knew…
Say no… because we’re here to live our life…
The below video is a reel of best bits from my Oxford trip:
Watch the full playlist below, including this ACE asexual introduction:
My talk was based on my chapter in the new bLU Talks book, of Business Life and The Universe, Vol 11, with James Redfield – Bestselling Author of The Celestine Prophecy, and Ken Honda – from MindValley, who is also the Author of Happy Money, as well as Corey Poirier is That Speaker Guy, Multiple-Time TEDx Speaker, bLU Talks Founder, Co-Author of the Wall Street Journal / USA Today Bestseller, Quitless, Featured in and/or seen on: NBC, ABC, Fox, TEDx, Entrepreneur on Fire, Entrepreneur Magazine, Forbes, Second City, The CW and CBS…
It’s been my dream since starting my www.quirkybooks.wordpress.com blog in 2010, way before I started helping asexuals in 2015, to have my own book publishing imprint called Quirky Books and to be a best selling author – I’m pleased to say I’ve now achieved both. But the fact I’ve done it while helping asexuals, puts the icing firmly on the cake and makes it the cherry on the top. Combining my two greatest life passions, writing non-fiction books that change live from pain to gain and helping asexuals – feels incredibly amazing and euphoric.
I honestly believe I was put on this earth this time around (I think I’ve been here before in a past life) to help asexuals. I believe God/Universe put me here to help asexuals with love, life, confidence, dating and relationships, so you can truly ACE your life, and to fulfil my life mission – of getting asexuality recognised as a sexual orientation in its own right throughout the globe, so no asexual has to live in fear of ridicule ever again. Whilever I’m alive I will try my utmost to achieve this, and my books will live on long after I’ve gone – as my lasting legacy to still help save and change lives for future generations to come.
On 08/08/2023 – Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Love, Life, and Sex, ACElebration of Asexual Diversity book hit the Best Seller list in Human Sexuality – #51. This was an incredible achievement, not just for me personally in terms of achieving my dream, but because it was in a highly competitive category to be a best seller in, as most books in it, are traditional-style sex books, so it’s a huge achievement for an asexual book, and therefore asexuality – which is a sexual orientation based on the lack of sexual attraction – in case you’re not asexual, never heard of asexuality before, or confused.
It took me 7 years to become a registered publisher in the UK under Quirky Books. Which I achieved in 2017, and it was a dream come true for me.
And now it’s taken 6 years for Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, under that imprint, to become a best seller – as I published that in 2017 and now it’s 2023. So 6 years later I got my dream.
Yesterday I was updating my social media – and I shared this achievement on my LinkedIn profile…
And my friend saw it and posted this lovely post and kind words on LinkedIn about my Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories book – they recommended it as a #MustRead
It’s lovely when someone understands the true purpose and meaning behind your literacy work.
Get your copy here https://amzn.to/44j4rdq
I’m so thankful to have achieved all these dreams both for me and asexuals / asexuality.
What’s next for me and asexuality???
On 23rd October 2023, I’m going to be speaking live at Oxford University for bLU Talks and I’ve already been given a lot of prep I need to do for that. I’m co-authoring a bLU Talks books, the Foreword of which is by Ken Honda from Mind Valley, and I just revised the edits of my chapter a couple of days ago for that. Both of these are inclusive of asexuality. I will be using the chapter I wrote for that book, as my foundation for my Oxford talk, that is called 9 Steps To Reinvent Yourself To Become Your Future Self. It describes how I went from being a deeply lonely, shy, and introverted girl as a child, who was scared to be on social media in 2011 and was shy to talk about sex prior to finding out I’m asexual in 2014 – to what I do now, which is helping asexuals through my www.youtube.com/asexualisemyasexuallife channel since 2015, being publicly open about being asexual and about my asexual life – all over social media, and able to talk about sex and masturbation as easily as drinking water. I describe the transformational journey I went on, to become the extroverted, loud, bubbly, talkative person I am today. Without which, I would not be able to give a voice to asexuals and help them. Although my talk is going to be based on my chapter concept in the bLU Talks book – it doesn’t have to be and I can talk about whatever I want – so long as it helps the bLU Talks audience, that is mostly made up of entrepreneurs, creatives, and spiritual people. In case you were wondering, bLU stands for business, life and universe, so the talk needs to be relevant to any of those topics areas and suitable for their audience. They spell bLU with a lower case b for their branding – in case you thought it should be capitalised.
I also have a virtual stage talk I will be doing for bLU Talks in the future and I’ve completed the first stage of an initial application to a TedX UK event next year, to do a talk about asexuality – the organiser will have a Zoom call with me in January / February 2024, to explain how the process works from that initial application.
So I still have lots to achieve… and tons more to do.
Plus, I’m still finishing the final edits of my Asexual Guide To Sex book – a book I’ve been working on for over 4 years now.
AND…. All of this goes towards achieving my life mission of getting asexuality recognised as a sexual orientation in its own right throughout the globe, so no asexual has to live in fear of ridicule ever again.
I’ve also been given 2 High Five rewards #youtubehighfive by YouTube for my original channel https://www.youtube.com/quirkybooksTV which only has 172 subs as that was my first channel which also goes with my Quirky Books blog and my book publishing imprint, although it’s no longer my main channel, as my Asexualise My Asexual Life channel is, so I haven’t paid much attention to it until I got my first reward – it feels amazing that my hard work is finally being recognised by YouTube, and I’ve been interviewed on top rated podcasts talking about asexuality – more on that in later articles when those interviews go live.
I got 2 cinema codes from YouTube for FREE VUE cinema tickets. One I used to see Gran Turismo – amazing movie, which I did a movie review of on my Asexualise channel – see the video below, and the second one I will be redeeming before 2nd Of September.
Feels good to have been making so much progress this year, especially for asexuals and asexuality – as well as my Quirky Books / writing.
And you can still grab a copy of my autobiographical superhero-style Fibromyalgia Self-Help Handbook for half price (50% OFF) on Kindle OR £3.00 OFF the paperback here https://amzn.to/3YMKHhj until midnight UK time, on 31st August 2023. So grab a copy of that at the same time, if you want to reduce pain in 25 aspects of your life, have more energy and be happier – most of the methods I teach in this book for managing fibromyalgia (anxiety and depression) can help you even if you don’t have fibro, as they are transferable skills.
Whether you decide to buy the books or not, thanks for your continued support – I appreciate it so much xx
Listen to my talk about asexuality on bLU Talks by clicking through the link below, My talk starts at 2:14:32.
On Friday 23rd June 2023, I had the pleasure of being a guest on bLU Talks Amplify Your Message, talking about asexuality, what it is, and dispelling the myth that asexuality is a choice – it’s not.
I share my own asexual life journey and about my specific asexuality mission; I explain how some asexuals actually feel left out of the LGBT+ community because others there who aren’t asexual, still experience sexual attraction, whereas asexuality is base on a lack of sexual attraction, and so it’s important to get it recognised as a sexual orientation in it’s own right globally too.
I explain how asexuality has literally transformed my life for the better, forever.
Being asexual is a unique and valid sexual orientation but it can come with a lot of difficulties and challenges as you buck the norm of societal thinking and expectations. So it’s important to prioritise your well-being throughout your asexual journey, in order to feel good about yourself, your life, and your sexual orientation of asexuality.
In this blog article, I want to share and explore with you, 10 essential tips that can help you stay healthy, happy, and fulfilled, as an asexual individual. Whether you’ve recently discovered your asexuality or have been identifying as asexual for a while, these tips will provide guidance and support for maintaining your well-being.
Self-Acceptance:
Embrace your asexuality as a valid part of who you are. Recognise that your feelings and experiences are real and valid, and give yourself permission to fully accept and embrace your identity.
Seek Community:
Connect with the asexual community, either online or in person, to find a supportive network of individuals who share similar experiences. Engaging with others who understand and validate your asexuality can provide a sense of belonging and support.
Open and honest communication is key in any relationship. Express your boundaries, desires, and needs to your friends, family, and potential partners. It’s important for them to understand and respect your asexuality to maintain healthy relationships with you.
Self-Care:
Prioritise self-care activities that promote your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Engage in activities that bring you joy, relaxation, and fulfilment. This might include hobbies, self-dating, mindfulness practices, exercise, or spending time with loved ones and friends.
Seek Support:
If you’re facing challenges related to your asexuality, consider seeking professional support. A therapist or counsellor who is knowledgeable about asexuality can provide guidance, help you navigate personal struggles, and offer valuable insights. I offer coaching, and advice and support sessions, but I’m not a licensed therapist or counsellor. If you want my help, hit me up in the chat bubble.
Set Boundaries:
Establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries is crucial for your well-being. Be clear about what you’re comfortable with and communicate your boundaries to others. Remember that it’s okay to say no and prioritise your own needs and comfort. This means it’s okay to say no to having any type of sex or being touched in any way you’re not comfortable with.
Celebrate Your Identity:
Take pride in your asexual identity and celebrate it in ways that resonate with you. Participate in asexual visibility events, connect with online communities, or express yourself through art, writing, or other creative outlets.
Find Allies:
While it’s important to connect with the asexual community, it’s equally valuable to have supportive allies in your life. Allies are individuals who may not be asexual but understand, respect, and support your identity. Cultivate relationships with those who are accepting and willing to learn.
Educate Others:
If you feel comfortable and empowered, advocate for asexuality and help raise awareness. Educate others about asexuality, challenge misconceptions, and promote understanding and acceptance. By sharing your experiences, you can contribute to a more inclusive society.
Staying well as an asexual individual involves self-acceptance, seeking community, educating yourself and others, setting boundaries, and prioritising your self-care. Remember, you deserve to live a fulfilling and authentic asexual life. By implementing these essential tips, you can enhance your well-being and embrace your asexual identity with confidence and pride.
Embrace your journey and know that you are not alone – a supportive community awaits you.
If you’re not a member of my YouTube community, click the video below now, and subscribe and hit the bell icon to join an empowered community of asexuals and allies, who support one another, and help you to keep feeling ACE! Plus, you get an opportunity to ask me any questions you like about asexuality, in live stream chat or comments. Join me and other like-minded individuals here https://www.youtube.com/live/orc-8mI0p-Q?feature=share
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