The Life of an Asexual Person – James Miller Lifeology Radio Interviews Sandra Bellamy About What It Means To Be Asexual

James Miller interviews Sandra Bellamy

Have you seen my interview? The Life of an Asexual Person | Sandra Bellamy – on James Miller Lifeology Radio show here https://www.jamesmillerlifeology.com/the-life-of-an-asexual-person/

Check it out on YouTube – The Life of an Asexual Person is here https://youtu.be/c0WUtPnEoU0?si=_D1hprEl6X_8ZS1i @JamesMillerLifeology or watch the video below.

On Tuesday 12th Sept 2023, I’ve just been featured in an interview about asexuality with James Miller – Lifeology Radio. This is a dream come true for me, to reach such a huge global audience, in regard to asexuality.

In this interview James and Sandra:

* Clarifies what it means to be asexual – Pure asexual vs grey asexual. * Busts through myths about asexuality. * Discusses dating as an asexual person. * Discusses the discrimination asexuals face as a minority sexual orientation. * And so much more….

James Miller, is the CEO of James Miller | LIFEOLOGY®, LLC and The Executive Producer and Host of LIFEOLOGY® Radio Nationally Broadcast and Syndicated Radio Show www.JamesMillerLifeology.com

Which is broadcast on/across:

National Radio Stations

  • 18 AM/FM terrestrial radio stations: Tuesday at 1:30 pm, Friday at 9:30 am, and Saturday at 12:30 pm
    • Washington, DC: FM – 96.7
    • Tampa, FL: AM – 1630, FM – 92.1
    • Las Vegas, NV: AM – 1520, FM – 99.5
    • Macon, GA: AM – 810, FM – 87.9
    • Lancaster, PA: AM – 1640, FM – 102.1
    • Boulder, CO: FM – 96.3
    • Milwaukee, WI: FM – 90.3
    • Pittsburgh, PA: FM – 94.7
    • Long Beach, CA: FM – 101.5
    • New Port Richey, FL: FM – 88.3
    • The Villages, FL: FM – 97.7
    • Colorado Springs, CO: FM – 87.9
    • Jacksonville, FL: FM – 90.3
    • Rocky Hill, NC: FM – 89.5

Streaming Radio

Archived on Podcasting Platforms

Digitally (Under AMFM247 Channel)

  • Roku
  • WorldTV
  • Dish TV
  • Youtube
  • Google TV
  • Other Network Stations Inclusion

THIS IS HUGE FOR ASEXUALITY

Asexuality Reaches A Global Audience Of Over 3 Million Listeners

So far James estimates that the day my interview episode aired, it had an average of 3 million people who heard it on the radio, 200k streaming listeners and podcast/video about 20k – Final numbers will be available at the end of the month. This really helps me to fulfil my life mission of getting asexuality recognised as a sexual orientation in its own right throughout the globe, so no asexual has to live in fear of ridicule ever again.

Check it out James’s channel here https://youtu.be/c0WUtPnEoU0?si=Polr7serOdG3GsqN and be sure to give it a thumbs up if you like it.

Or check it out on my own cannel here https://youtu.be/1_3kkGbHRcE?si=Xu_IzG4nc_wpWgBs 

Or listen to it on James’s ITunes channel here: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/james-miller-lifeology-radio/id1190946242?i=1000627920736  James introduces my episode: Sandra Bellamy, an asexual expert teaches you what it means to be an asexual person. www.asexualise.com #SandraBellamy #Asexual #sexuality #LGBTQIA

You can also see my reaction video here https://www.youtube.com/live/0GP791VeTeA?si=smftPk6kZ_ly9w5m or by watching the video below:

As always, stay ace, and let me know what you think? Sandra xx

10 Essential Tips for Maintaining Well-being as an Asexual Individual

Being asexual is a unique and valid sexual orientation but it can come with a lot of difficulties and challenges as you buck the norm of societal thinking and expectations. So it’s important to prioritise your well-being throughout your asexual journey, in order to feel good about yourself, your life, and your sexual orientation of asexuality.

In this blog article, I want to share and explore with you, 10 essential tips that can help you stay healthy, happy, and fulfilled, as an asexual individual. Whether you’ve recently discovered your asexuality or have been identifying as asexual for a while, these tips will provide guidance and support for maintaining your well-being. Sandra Bellamy - Self-care, 21st Mindset Birthday trip to Eurodisney

  1. Self-Acceptance:

Embrace your asexuality as a valid part of who you are. Recognise that your feelings and experiences are real and valid, and give yourself permission to fully accept and embrace your identity.

  1. Seek Community:

Connect with the asexual community, either online or in person, to find a supportive network of individuals who share similar experiences. Engaging with others who understand and validate your asexuality can provide a sense of belonging and support.

  1. Educate Yourself:

Take the time to educate yourself about asexuality and its various nuances. Learning about different asexual identities, experiences, and resources, can help you gain a deeper understanding of yourself and empower you to navigate discussions about asexuality with confidence. You can take my FREE Asexuality Basics For Beginners Course here https://asexualise-academy-courses.thinkific.com/courses/asexuality-basics-for-beginners-introduction-to-asexuality

  1. Communicate Your Needs:

Open and honest communication is key in any relationship. Express your boundaries, desires, and needs to your friends, family, and potential partners. It’s important for them to understand and respect your asexuality to maintain healthy relationships with you.

  1. Self-Care:

Prioritise self-care activities that promote your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Engage in activities that bring you joy, relaxation, and fulfilment. This might include hobbies, self-dating, mindfulness practices, exercise, or spending time with loved ones and friends. Asexual Sandra Disney Princess Look

  1. Seek Support:

If you’re facing challenges related to your asexuality, consider seeking professional support. A therapist or counsellor who is knowledgeable about asexuality can provide guidance, help you navigate personal struggles, and offer valuable insights. I offer coaching, and advice and support sessions, but I’m not a licensed therapist or counsellor. If you want my help, hit me up in the chat bubble.

  1. Set Boundaries:

Establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries is crucial for your well-being. Be clear about what you’re comfortable with and communicate your boundaries to others. Remember that it’s okay to say no and prioritise your own needs and comfort. This means it’s okay to say no to having any type of sex or being touched in any way you’re not comfortable with.

  1. Celebrate Your Identity:

Take pride in your asexual identity and celebrate it in ways that resonate with you. Participate in asexual visibility events, connect with online communities, or express yourself through art, writing, or other creative outlets. 

Asexual Sandra at Universal Studios Disneyland Paris

  1. Find Allies:

While it’s important to connect with the asexual community, it’s equally valuable to have supportive allies in your life. Allies are individuals who may not be asexual but understand, respect, and support your identity. Cultivate relationships with those who are accepting and willing to learn.

  1. Educate Others:

If you feel comfortable and empowered, advocate for asexuality and help raise awareness. Educate others about asexuality, challenge misconceptions, and promote understanding and acceptance. By sharing your experiences, you can contribute to a more inclusive society.

Staying well as an asexual individual involves self-acceptance, seeking community, educating yourself and others, setting boundaries, and prioritising your self-care. Remember, you deserve to live a fulfilling and authentic asexual life. By implementing these essential tips, you can enhance your well-being and embrace your asexual identity with confidence and pride.

Embrace your journey and know that you are not alone – a supportive community awaits you.

If you’re not a member of my YouTube community, click the video below now, and subscribe and hit the bell icon to join an empowered community of asexuals and allies, who support one another, and help you to keep feeling ACE! Plus, you get an opportunity to ask me any questions you like about asexuality, in live stream chat or comments. Join me and other like-minded individuals here https://www.youtube.com/live/orc-8mI0p-Q?feature=share 


As always, stay ACE.

Sandra xx

5 Misconceptions And Misinformation About Asexuality

Even in the 21st century, asexuality is still not heard of by many heterosexuals, and is still deeply misunderstood.

In this post, we will discuss 5 misconceptions and misinformation about asexuality, and what the truth actually is.

Misconception And Misinformation About Asexuality Number 1:

Asexuals are people who want to be alone 😔

Whilst it is true that some asexuals like to spend time on their own, most likely because those asexuals are introverted and/or have social anxiety, other asexuals don’t like to be alone.

Saying a blanket statement that asexuals are people who want to be alone, is simply not true, asexuality is a sexual orientation. 🙄

Misconception And Misinformation About Asexuality Number 2:

Asexuals are people who have never had sex 😔

Whilst it’s true that some asexuals have never had sex and never will, this is not what makes someone asexual.

Asexuality is a sexual orientation that is based on a lack of sexual attraction, not a lack of action. 🙄

Misconception And Misinformation About Asexuality Number 3:

Asexuals are people who can’t get laid. 😔

Whilst I absolutely personally hate the term getting laid, what I hate more, is this statement implies people who are asexual are not able to get someone to have sex with them because they are unattractive. Because people associate not being able to get anyone to have sex with them (getting laid), as a sign of unattractiveness, which is utter bulls*it.

A person who is asexual, is not deemed to be so based on whether they can get someone to have sex with them or not, it’s based on if they experience little to no sexual attraction or not. Many asexuals have lots of offers of sex, but many are repulsed by the idea. Asexuals are still beautiful even if they don’t want sex. 🙄

Misconception And Misinformation About Asexuality Number 4:

Asexuals are people who abstain from sex. 😔

Whilst some asexuals abstain from sex, abstinence is not the same as asexuality. 

Those who abstain from sex, are doing so out of choice.

Asexuality is not a choice, it’s a sexual orientation. 🙄

Misconception And Misinformation About Asexuality Number 5:

Asexuals are people who are celibate. 😔

Asexuality is not the same as celibacy.

Unlike those who are choosing to be celibate and are stop themselves from having sex as they try to resist their urges for it, asexuality is not a choice, and asexuals are not people who are forcing themselves to refrain from having sex. As they don’t experience the usual sexual attraction, they don’t usually have the need, urge, or want, for partnered sexual intercourse in the first place, so they are not forcing themselves to not do something, which they have no need or ‘urge’ to do. 🙄

Asexual Quotes About Love – Asexual Love Quotes – Asexual Love Awareness #aceweek

Asexual Quotes About Love. These asexual love quotes, show you what it means to experience true asexual love, without the need for sex. Asexual Love Awareness #aceweek

Watch the Asexual Love Awareness #aceweek video above, to see more quotes about what asexual love is. Or click this link to view it https://youtu.be/cqZXpiXjJMA

 

Read more about asexual perspectives on Love, Life and Sex, in my Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories book here https://amzn.to/2Lk5en3

What’s good about this Asexual Perspectives book, is it doesn’t just give text book definitions of orientations across the asexual spectrum, it shows you them, through the 47 Asexual Stories answers to different questions about Love, Life, and Sex, and the personal details the interviewees share. It answers most questions you could think of about love, life, and sex, from an asexual point of view, including those you feel afraid to ask!! Get you copy here https://amzn.to/2Lk5en3 now.

 

What Is Asexuality? Asexual Awareness #aceweek

What is asexuality? What does it mean to be asexual? What is grey asexual? What’s a pure asexual? What is the asexual spectrum?

Watch the What Is Asexuality – YouTube #shorts video above and read the asexual flags below, to find out…

 

If you are new to asexuality, or you want more help understanding the asexual spectrum, and how to navigate dating, relationships, and life, as an asexual, in a highly sexualised world, I have been helping asexual for over 6 years now on my Asexualise channel www.youtube.com/asexualisemyasexuallife that you can subscribe to, which will help you with many aspects about asexuality, and especially dating and relationships. I usual live stream daily and you can ask me anything you want in chat there.

If you are still discovering about asexuality and more about the asexual spectrum, I have a Free Asexuality Basics For Beginners course that you can sign up to here that also shows you what the asexual spectrum is www.asexualiseacademy.com

I also wrote a book and interviewed 46 asexuals around the globe and across the asexual spectrum for it, https://amzn.to/2Lk5en3 What is good about this book, is it does not just give text book definitions of orientations across the asexual spectrum, it shows you them, through their answers and the personal details they share. It answers most questions you could think of about love, life, and sex, from an asexual point of view, including those you feel afraid to ask!!

How Do You Know If You’re Asexual As A Teenager – 6 Signs You Might Be Asexual If You Are A Teenager

How Do You Know If You’re Asexual As A Teenager

I’m a teenager and not sure if I’m asexual.

I am only 12 can I be asexual?

I am only 13 but feel asexual. Can I be asexual?

Can I know I am asexual if I am as a teenager?

How can I tell if `I am asexual if I am a teenager?

These are some of the questions I get asked and are searched for.

You don’t have to be an “adult” to know you are asexual or not.

Here are 6 signs you might be asexual if you are a teenager:

  1. You are not interested whatsoever in sex.
  2. You are not interested in getting involved with another person’s genitalia.
  3. You might like kissing, cuddling, holding hands, but you have no interest in going any further.
  4. People in your class are talking about being in a relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend, and making a big deal about it, and you are wondering what all the fuss is about, and you really don’t get it!
  5. You might find people talking about boyfriends and girlfriends and getting off with each other, doing different sexual acts, and you’re like, “I just don’t understand.”
  6. When everyone is going on about sex, you are more interested in your projects, hobbies, and your own interests.

I hope you have enjoyed reading these 6 signs you might be asexual if you are a teenager.

Happy ACE week.

Don’t forget to subscribe to my channel www.youtube.com/asexualisemyasexuallife and hit the bell icon so you get notified of every time I go live or post a new video. Don’t forget to share any of the videos you see there, with your asexual friends, or with anyone you think may benefit from them. With over 6 years of asexual education, you can be sure you will learn a lot.

As always, stay ACE.

Sandra xx

 

 

5 Less Obvious Signs You Might Be Asexual

5 Less Obvious Signs You Might Be Asexual

  1. You experience arousal but you don’t experience sexual attraction. So in other words you get an arousal feeling in your genitalia but that still doesn’t make you think “I want sex” with anyone.
  2. You have a sex drive, but it isn’t aimed at anyone.
  3. You like naked bodies but the idea of inserting your genitalia into someone else’s, or vice versa, doesn’t appeal to you.
  4. You have sexual fantasies but you don’t want to act on them in real life.
  5. You watch porn but you have no inclination to participate in sex itself.

3 Other Less Obvious Signs You Might Be Asexual – If You’re Having Sex

  1. You enjoy the physical sensations of sex when you have it, but you could easily live without it, and it’s not something you actively pursue.
  2. You will participate in sex, but you you never instigate it, as you are not bothered about doing it.
  3. You feel a disconnect when having sex, like you are just through the motions and would rather be doing other things.

I hope you have enjoyed learning about these 5 Less Obvious Signs You Might Be Asexual and 3 Other Less Obvious Signs You Might Be Asexual. Don’t forget to subscribe to my channel www.youtube.com/asexualisemyasexuallife and hit the bell icon so you get notified of every time I go live or post a new video.

As always, stay ACE.

Sandra xx

5 Quick Ways You Can Tell If You’re Asexual

5 Quick Ways You Can Tell If You’re Asexual Or Not

  1. You hate sex, you can’t stand it, and you don’t want anything to do with it.
  2. You hate sex scenes in movies, they really make you feel sick.
  3. You’re fed up of society going on about sex. It annoys you and you are like – “What the hell are they talking about?”
  4. When people start saying about “getting off” and doing sexual stuff to other people, and they are looking so happy and gleeful about it, and you are like WTF!!!
  5. You are so turned off by all the sexualisation of everything and you are thinking I really don’t fit in here, this is like speaking an alien language. Beam me up out of here, please now!

3 Other Quick Ways You Can Tell If You’re asexual:

  1. You are more interested in having a decent conversation with your partner, than ever having sex.
  2. You never look at someone and think ‘I want to have sex you’ with anyone.
  3. You don’t think about having sex at all, just kissing, cuddling and holding hands (if you are romantic).

If you want to know 5 less obvious signs you might be asexual, check out this video below, and my next blog post!

Until next time,

Always stay ACE!

Sandra xx

How To Come Out As Asexual To Your Parents

Coming out as asexual is never an easy task, especially when it’s your parents you need to come out as asexual to. In this asexual article, I explain some of the ways you can come out as asexual to your parents.

But first things first. You should have no, I repeat absolutely no, expectations, when it comes to coming out as asexual. Whether you are coming out as asexual to your parents, or anyone else for that matter. In fact, when you come out as asexual to your parents, it’s better to expect they might:

  • Not understand
  • Be confused
  • Be unaccepting
  • Be in denial
  • Think it’s a phase
  • Try to negotiate your own (a)sexual identity
  • Ask you to go and see a doctor, a therapist, or a phycologist
  • Or get a hormone test. – It has been known to happen!

But nothing. I repeat nothing. Is wrong with you. It’s perfectly ‘normal’ for some people in this world to not experience any sexual attraction at all, or for some people to experience very little. Or for some people to have little interest in sexual activities. It happens. And that’s okay. You’re not broken. You don’t need fixing. It’s not a result of trauma. It’s just natural for you to be you. It’s natural to not want sex; you are asexual.

And when you speak to your parents you need to be:

  • Confident in what you are talking about
  • Proud to be asexual
  • Have an attitude of your asexuality is non-negotiable

With all this in mind, here is how to come out as asexual to your parents:

You could do what I did, and phone your parents up, to come out as asexual. Tell them you have been researching about different sexual identities and your realise you are asexual. Explain what this means. You lack sexual attraction; you don’t look at someone and think, “I want sex with you”. And you just thought you should let them know.

What this does, is position you as having an intelligent approach to discovering your true asexual identity. Because you have ‘researched’ it and not just plucked it out of thin air.

For added asexual authenticity and believability, you can say you discovered thousands of people just like you (if you did, such as through www.asexuality.org) and that a recorded 1% of the population are asexual. Which means 1 in every 100 people you meet, are likely to be asexual. This gives a lot more realism to your asexual identity and brings it to life.

If your parents then try to disprove your asexual identity or don’t believe you, it’s not your job to negotiate this. There is no negotiation, you are asexual and that’s it. Not everyone will believe you straight away. You have no control over what other’s think, or how they react to it. You only have control over how you react to their reaction. So be sure to react to it in a my-asexual-identity-is-non-negotiable type of way. It’s not up for debate. You are just letting them know, because you love and care about them.

Another way to come out as asexual to your parents, would be to have an understanding and supportive friend with you when you tell them in person. Someone who knows you are asexual and who completely has your back. And do what I already said, but with a friend at your side instead. And instead of it being over the phone, it’s in person. Even better if this friend is asexual too – as they can’t deny asexuals exist, as there is living proof that someone else besides you, is asexual too. Or even someone from the LGBT+ community would be helpful, because their orientation is also a sexual orientation minority. There is strength in numbers. So play this strength card. Or it could be a supportive sibling, or another family member you are with when you tell them. Tell them you have something important to say, and you are a little scared about it, that’s why you have brought an asexual friend, sibling, (or other), with you. Tell them you love your parents very much, you have something you want them to know about you, and it would mean the world to you if they would give you a few minutes of their time to listen to you, as it’s very important. Then proceed to tell them in a confidence, calm manner, that you are asexual, and what that means for you. Explain the “A” in (A)sexual, means the absence of sexual attraction. So for me that means this …

If you want to add even more weight to what you are saying, you can say you are part of asexual groups and forums (if you are) and there are tons of asexuals – people just like you, out there. You can even point out all of the asexual YouTubers, bloggers, and articles that are about asexuals and asexuality. This is called an evidence stack. Stack the evidence of you being asexual and of asexuality being real, and it becomes harder for anyone to disbelieve it, or disprove it.

In the best case scenario, you won’t need to prove you are asexual, you parents will just accept it sounds like you. Which is what happened with me.

If you are scared about coming out as asexual, you could also get an article/blog post about asexuality and point it out to your parents and get them to read it, then say that’s who you are – asexual. Or gage their reaction to the article first, before you tell them.

The alternative way to come out as asexual to your parents:

The prequel step to coming out as asexual to your parents: If you feel very apprehensive about coming out to your parents as asexual, that’s only natural. Some parents may have worked out you are different by now, so you telling them you are asexual, may not surprise them at all. And you may be shocked by their it’s ‘no big deal’ response and attitude, especially if it has taken you months, weeks, and years, to muster up the courage to come out as asexual to your parents. But if you feel strong anxiety and you cannot muster up the courage to say you are asexual to your parents.

Try this instead: Tell your parents you are not interested in sex, it’s not your thing.

This type of response is a great one to use if your parents are asking you:

When are you getting a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner?

When are you going to give them grandchildren?

When are you getting married?

When are you going to settle down?

Or when you are prompted to respond to something about having sex.

Or when you have comments like she’s hot, he’s hot, and the person saying that is waiting for a reaction from you.

You can simply respond, “I’m not interested in that”.  Or “I’m not interested in that, it’s not my thing”.

Before you move on to tell them you are asexual, which could be at a later date; in a matter of days, weeks, or months. Or if their reaction is positive, you can proceed straight away to tell them you are asexual. The sooner you tell them, the sooner you can get on with living your beautiful asexual life, as your beautiful asexual self, without having to hide who you truly are, or any part of gorgeous self. This is a much healthier way of living in the long-term, repressing these things is never a good idea. Especially if you want parents to know, but you are just scared. Also, the more people who came out as asexual to their parents, the more we can get asexuality recognition globally, and the more you will be helping your community in the fight for asexual visibility, and in helping children to know, they don’t have to have sex, in order to be loved.

Whatever you decide to do. Remember you are beautiful just as you are, and you always will be.

I hope this article helps you come out as asexual to your parents.

If you have any questions. Comment below.

As always.

Stay ACE

Sandra xx

 

A Happy Life Without Sex – Sexuality Misconceptions Busted! Asexuality Interview With Asexual Coach and Asexual Author Sandra Bellamy.

 

A Happy Life Without Sex – Sexuality Misconceptions Busted! Asexuality interview with Asexual Coach and Asexual Author Sandra Bellamy. Ever wondered what asexuality is really all about, and what is just false myths and stereotypes? Watch this video now, I think you will be surprised! https://youtu.be/OBBvHyR2QKw

As an Asexual Author and Asexual Coach, my dream is to have people contact me, and ask to interview me and share me knowledge of asexuality and my asexual book to the world. This is what happened when Diane Délina, ADHD/Relationship and Sex Coach approached me, to ask to interview me on her sexuality misconceptions show. I jumped at the chance. Any opportunity to raise awareness for asexuality, is a dream come true.

In this video, you will also discover Diane has since had a client who’s daughter is asexual. I am so pleased to be helping another coach to realise what it truly means to be asexual, with all it’s nuances. This means I can help more asexuals and families of asexuals. Watch the video now, to find out more https://youtu.be/OBBvHyR2QKw

That Kidist had to say about this asexuality interview.

Asexual recognition testimonial

If you want to know more about asexuality, subscribe to my channel www.youtube.com/asexualisemyasexuallife and shop for Asexual Perspectives, 47 Asexual Stories, now! Here is the link https://amzn.to/33la1QO

If you are a writer struggling with your asexuality right now, know you are not broken, there is nothing wrong with you. You are beautifully ACE.

If you want one-to one coaching, with an asexual coach, for your asexual life, and happy to invest money to change your life, contact me in the chat bubble!

As always, stay ACE

Love Sandra xx