12 Signs of a Narcissist! What is a Narcissist? How to spot a Narcissist! Narcissism part one

Posted on by Asexualise
Narcissist -12 signs

*************12 Signs Of A Narcissist! **************

1) NO EMPATHY OR SYMPATHY (INCLUDING FOR PAST TRAUMA AND MAY SIDE WITH AN ABUSER)

2) ACTS AS COOL AS A CUCUMBER

3) NO EMOTION EVEN IF YOU ARE UPSET

4) THINK THEY ARE RIGHT ALL THE TIME

5) NEVER APOLOGISES (UNLESS TRYING TO MANIPULATE YOU)

6) ACCUSES YOU OF NOT DOING WHAT THEY EXPECT

7) EXPECTS YOU TO DO WHAT THEY WANT

8) MAKES OUT YOU ARE THE ONE IN THE WRONG

9) PLAYS THE VICTIM

10) MANIPULATING AND CONTROLLING

11) SHOWS YOU UP IN PUBLIC

12) USES YOU FOR THEIR OWN MEANS/BENEFIT

Until next time, stay ace!

Sandra xx

ASEXUAL DATING – DON’T BE AFRAID TO BLOCK!! FACEBOOK BLOCKING

Posted on by Asexualise
It is okay to block

In my vast asexual dating experience, and particularly in asexual dating groups on Facebook, there are so many people who get worried about Facebook blocking someone who is clearly from an outside point of view being emotional abusive, nasty, or hurtful.

They spend ages worried about what the other person will think, about if that person really is being horrible to them, about maybe they should just keep the relationship going, give them chance after chance and feeling like they have to continue the relationship for some reason, or worse, that if they don’t continue it something bad will happen to them, or they will be harassed forever, (due to emotional and mental blackmail by the other person).

They sometimes realise the person is being harmful and hurtful, but still continue the relationship. This can be because they have feelings for them, or they feel it is less hassle to, or they think that person may change and don’t want to lose that connection. I totally get this as I used to be that type of person, but I learnt in my life that how we are treated is how we allow ourself to be treated, so if we feel bad because someone’s actions and attitude is not nice, disrespectful, rude, or abusive, we need to remove ourself from that situation and free ourself, instead of wasting our time and allowing ourself to be abused. I also learnt that another person’s problems is not MY problem, and that it is okay to walk away out of self-respect, self-love and self-worth!

I hope you found that helpful? Would love to hear what you think?

Until next time, stay ace

Sandra xx

Asexual Dating: What is an Asexual Womaniser? How to spot an Asexual Womaniser!

Posted on by Asexualise
ace womaniser

Did you know asexual guys can be womanisers too?

Is this video I explain how to spot an asexual womaniser – the asexual guys who go around chatting up multiple women; who date multiple women and make them feel like they are the ‘one’ for them; and who may be in a relationship and trying to get into another one, despite saying they are monogamous. There are no doubt manisers too, as I am heteroromantic, I am speaking from own personal experience.

I hope you find this helpful?

Until next time, stay ace!

Sandra xx

Asexual Perspectives Book – A Different Take On Asexuality!

Posted on by Asexualise

ASEXUAL PERSPECTIVES BOOK

If you are still learning about asexuality or wanting to understand your orientation better, I wrote a non-fiction book to show you the difference across the asexual spectrum. This book is not full of text book definitions, but a different take on asexuality, of real life asexuals, revealing some very intimate aspects of their life to help you! http://amzn.to/2FT0nJO

•Learn the asexual perspectives of Aromantics; Heteroromantics; Homoromantics; Panromantics; Grey Aces; Demi-sexual; Biromantic; Agender; Transgender; Polyamorous and many more.

•Uncover Asexuals’ deepest fears, concerns and worries about being asexual.

•Find out possible reasons why, in general, society does not accept asexuality as a sexual orientation in its own right and what we can do about this to change the world!

•Discover what asexuals really believe are the differences between sexual attraction, sexual desire and arousal.

•Find out what asexuals really think of nudity; porn; masturbation; BDSM and kinks.

•Discover what it feels like to have sex as an asexual and how to cope with the sexualized world that we live in.

•Find out what asexuals think about living together, about marriage and about having kids.

•Discover what an ideal asexual relationship would look like and whether asexuals believe a relationship with a sexual would be fair or not.

•Uncover the positives about being asexual.

•Find out what advice asexuals would give to a younger version of themselves regarding asexuality and what advice they would give to others who are just discovering they may be asexual.

Here is what some people are saying about the book:

“Thank You for writing this book! It is so important to bring awareness about asexuality. Thank you for interviewing so many people and helping the world understand more what asexual people stuggle with and what our lives can be like.”

“Excellent introduction to asexuality, and a great help to asexuals as well as people looking to understand asexuality!”

“I have not finished this book yet, but so far, I have found it so interesting and I can’t put the book down. As an Asexual, it’s so nice to not only see a well written book written about this orientation, but reading real life stories of people like me makes me feel good, because I know I am not alone and there are people who experience the same things I do. No one is the same, but we can all relate one way or another. I HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone who is interested in this topic, overall, it’s a good read! Thank you so much for writing this and a big thank you to everyone who shared their story! Truly inspirational!”

“I found this to be an easy read. Very informative with aspects of all different spectrums of the Asexual community. Being new to this community by just months and still trying to understand where I fit I was able to read different interviews and pick up things I had in common with those people. Helping me realize the more intricate parts of being an asexual woman. It helped me let go of many things that have hounded me for a very long time. I’m “mature” and there was no such thing when I grew up as “Asexual”. Thank you Sandra for putting your heart into this work. I will go back and refer to parts of this book on my own journey.”

Shop here http://amzn.to/2FT0nJO

Why Do Some Asexuals Have Sex?

Posted on by Asexualise

So why do some asexuals have sex? There are a variety of reasons why some asexuals may have sex. Some asexuals may have sex to please their partner or they may have sex because they like it as an activity to do, like a board game! Some asexuals may have had sex in the past but not any more, and some asexuals have never had sex and never will!

Asexuality is not defined by whether you have had sex or not, it is defined by whether you experience sexual attraction or not, so whether you get the need, urge, or want, for partnered sexual intercourse or not! I have had sex in the past, but would rather I did not. I thought I had to have sex as part of a relationship, despite never thinking I want to have sex with any guy, including past loves. When I found out I am asexual in 2014 and I discovered others who were too, it felt amazing, that for the first time in my life, I had hope that I could find asexual love, without sex! I have never associated sex with love and never will!

If you have any questions, please post them in the comments below!

Until next time, stay Ace.

Sandra xx

 

Asexual Masturbation, Solo Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Reciprocated Masturbation, Unreciprocated Masturbation

Posted on by Asexualise

One of the questions I get asked quite a lot in PM, is “can I still be asexual if I masturbate?” The answer is yes. Some asexuals take part in solo masturbation, some mutually masturbate each other when in a relationship, and some want to masturbate their partner but not have it reciprocated, whilst others don’t want to masturbate their partner, but like to receive that! Of course there are asexuals who don’t like any form of masturbation! We are all different and that is ace!

Watch the video to discover more about Asexual Masturbation, Solo Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Reciprocated Masturbation, and Unreciprocated Masturbation.

Until next time, stay ace, Sandra xx

 

8 Things Not To Do If You Are Asexual! Asexual Beauty! You’re Beautiful Just As You Are! #asexuality

Posted on by Asexualise
Beautiful as you are pic

You should know that you are beautiful just as you are.

8 Things Not To Do If You Are Asexual!

There is no need for you to:

  1. Justify your asexuality to anyone.
  2. Agree with someone for the sake of it.
  3. Be liked by everyone; because no one is.
  4. Be unsure of who you are because another person puts doubt in your mind.
  5. Identify the same as others; you are unique, so embrace it!
  6. Be ashamed of being asexual; asexuality is beautiful!
  7. Keep quiet about your asexuality; if others can’t deal with it, it’s their problem.
  8. Not love yourself and change yourself; because you are beautiful just as you are!

I thought you mind need a gentle reminder! Keep loving you for who you are! You are beautiful, and never forget that!

Until next time, stay ace, Sandra xx

What is it Like to Date an Asexual if you are Sexual?

Posted on by Asexualise
can sexuals date asexuals

So most people believe that if you are asexual and won’t have sex with a sexual partner, you should not be with one. I know from my own experience that I cannot date sexuals anymore, because it has not worked numerous times before and it would just would not work out. I even tried it last year as my own Asexual Perspectives book gave me hope that it was possible because a biromantic person is in a relationship with a sexual and they said sex was never an issue! Lucky them. It didn’t work out for me although for reasons other than a lack of sex, but I don’t need that kind of worry and anxiety anymore of what if he were to go get that with someone else, or of if he changed his mind, or if he tried something on – I know he was keen for me to masturbate him and I just wasn’t into that!

I did manage to find these two fabulous videos though, of sexuals who are dating asexuals and don’t seem to mind having a relationship without sex.

Watch these videos to find out what is it like to date an asexual if you are sexual?

What Is The Story Behind The Ace Cake Asexual Joke?

Posted on by Asexualise

Are you feeling Asexy?

I recently saw a video that gave a different definition of asexy to my own. I define asexy as something that would usually be seen as sexy, but minus the sexual attraction – so if I was attracted to the guy, I might find him hot looking aesthetically or he might have a magnetic charm, but unlike sexuals, as an asexual, I would not want sex with him because I would not get the urge for that.

While I was searching the internet for how others define asexy, I came across a ‘playboy’ article in which David Jay – founder of www.asexuality.org answered the story behind why asexuals joke about cake. He was interviewed by Debra W. Soh, who is a sex writer and sexual neuroscientist at York University in Toronto. She has written for Harper’s, The Wall Street Journal, Scientific American, The Los Angeles Times, The Globe and Mail and many others. Follow her on Twitter: @debra_soh.

Story Behind The Ace Cake Asexual Joke Revealed

Here is her question and his answer:

“Can you explain the story behind how a slice of cake became a symbol of asexuality and what it means to the Ace community?”

“The moment when new people show up to the community has always been a little sacred for us; it’s when people realize that they’re not alone. Cake started as a symbol of welcome: Someone would join the community and post their story, and people would come in and post a little image of cake. Since then, it’s expanded, and has become a little like the rainbow, though these days the Ace flag gets used much more.”

And here is a link to the full article https://www.playboy.com/articles/david-jay-asexy It is on the playboy site – a magazine aimed at sexuals.

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10 Awesome Benefits To NOT Having Sex!

Posted on by Asexualise

Here are 10 Awesome Benefits To NOT Having Sex!

1) You don’t have to worry about getting a STD.

2) No risk of getting pregnant or of getting someone pregnant.

3) No pressure or expectation to perform.

4) You will be loved for who you are, not for how many orgasms you can attempt to give or have.

5) Less mess and changing of bed sheets!

6) Relationship compatibility is increased because there is more focus on shared mutual interests, hobbies, likes and dislikes – rather than sexual attraction being the primary reason for the relationship to start and continue.

7) Less divorce rates due to impotency or lack of sex, if you are not having it anyway.

8) You have more time to focus on other things.

9) You don’t have to feel guilty if you are too tired to have sex or not in the mood.

10) There is more chance of getting to the root of relationship problems, and either sorting them out or cutting your losses sooner – rather than using sex as a kiss and make-up mask over the problem – leading to more frustration, hurt and pain, later on!